All Posts By

Daphne

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Talking Fertility

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Over the years, I’ve come across some really bizarre fertility tips. Not that I ever needed to use them because I’m a member of the “anyhowly touch also get pregnant” club. Most of the time, we’re trying to figure out how not to get pregnant because contraceptives? Um, ewww. If not for the fact that we’re considering having a fourth kid, one of us (ahem, not me) would be going for a vasectomy. In any case, that’s definitely happening after #4.

One time, when one of the husband’s colleagues heard that I was pregnant with Kirsten 4 months after Truett was born, she shouted “WAH, YOU ARE VERY FERTILE!” across the entire office. Followed by a very awkward silence all round.

But it’s something I’m very thankful for though. I’ve always wanted kids and I don’t know if I’d be able to cope with the agony of wanting a baby and not being able to have one. We have some very dear friends who have been trying for a baby for years without success and every time we talk about babies, I just want to give them a great big hug and send some baby magic their way.

On some level, fertility is not something most of us talk about. Partly because it’s so painful for those who are trying for kids and there isn’t very much we can say or do to make them feel better. Which is not to say that we shouldn’t talk about it, because when done in a sensitive way with much love and tact, sharing the right information can sometimes be helpful.

And I’m not talking about crazy myths like eating more oysters and bananas (although they are delicious). Or doing a handstand slash raising your legs in the air for 20 minutes after the sexytime (unless you want to work those abs, then go for it). Or drinking cough syrup before sex (one way train to woozy-town). Or go missionary instead of other slightly more creative positions (I shall not elaborate on this one). Or just relax and you’ll get pregnant. Honestly, if I was trying for a baby and someone gave me that kind of advice, that someone would have been popped in the face.

The good news is that there are several available and effective options for infertility treatment these days. In fact, modern fertility treatments have been proven to work really well. (YEAH SCIENCE!) The common misconceptions regarding fertility treatments is that it’s very expensive and ineffective but with subsidies and government co-funding (of up to 75% of the cost), it is now easier to seek medical help.

It can be a stressful process if you’re trying for a baby and it definitely helps to consult a healthcare professional plus get the right information on issues related to fertility at websites like Fertility Asia (supported by Merck Serono), where you’ll be able to get clear answers on common fertility questions and tips that might actually help.

And here’s sending some love your way.

Finn

One.

Finn's 1st birthday

Finn! My littlest baby boy is turning one tomorrow and I’m sitting here feeling like a proud momma.

I’ve always thought that 1 year old is the point where they start to get really fun. The stoner infant stage is great and I do so love that newborn smell but they’re usually either fast asleep (good!) or in the process of trying fall asleep (not so good) or screaming their heads off for any number of unknown reasons (very, very bad!) Ok, it was kind of cute when he learnt to flip over and sit up and commando crawl for like all of 5cm. Watching all that effort go into moving 1 chubby thigh forward several inches is one of the most underrated joys one can have.

But 1, ohhh 1 is the magic number. We’re just having the greatest time with him lately. The little guy the light of everyone’s universe around here these days and he’s soaking up all the attention like he’s been doing it all his life. He flashes his cheeky grin right before he attempts to destroy his siblings’ masterpiece creations or ransack their toy cabinets and they just let him. Tru will be all “Finn Finn, noooo…arrghh, ok fine, fine, kor kor will build another one later” before affectionately ruffling his hair. And Kirsten is just the sweetest protective big sister. She follows him around holding both his hands as he takes a few steps forward. She makes silly sounds for him and her whole face lights up whenever he breaks into one of his giggling fits.

They’ve also learnt a new move – tag team to give baby Finn a little boost whenever he wants to climb up onto the bed or couch. One will grab his waist while the other grabs his bottom to hoist him up and I’ll be hovering behind like “Watch out, don’t let him smash his face guys!!” Whenever they succeed, I have 3 little people giving each other hi-fives like it’s the greatest accomplishment in the world. SO. CUTE.

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kids with finn

Over in the snuggly department, I’m thrilled to say that baby Finn is turning out to be a most snuggly, lovey dovey baby. I certainly didn’t see this coming because he’s been a non-stop action kind of baby from birth. He used to be all “Snuggling? Ain’t nobody got time for that!” But these days, it’s like he’s trying to find little ways to make me all his.

Like how he attaches himself to my lap for a few extra minutes and drapes one arm on my thigh to mark his territory. And when I’m carrying him, he’ll flop his head down onto my chest just to hear the thump of my heartbeat. And when I’m lying next to him on the bed, he crawls all over my face before pressing his nose really hard into mine. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love all his baby nose presses. It’s weird and my glasses gets all squashed into my face but it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world. I’m milking all the affection for as long as I can, that’s for sure.

And a few more of his other favorite things to do…

He loves dancing. He now has 3 moves – the side-to-side-hand-swipe, the raise-your-hand-in-the-air and the stationary-knee-bounce.

He loves books. Every morning, he yanks down a pile of books from the shelf and sits right in the middle of them flipping and making sounds to himself. He’s a reader, this one.

He’s really into hi-fives. One time, right around the start of this hi-5 obsession, I was giving Truett a hi-5 for his stellar spelling results and Finn was on my lap stretching out his hand to join in the hi-5 party. I was busy talking to Tru and when I finally noticed his tiny neglected outstretched hand, he looked at me with such profound sadness (the kind that you get when someone kills your puppy) that I made up for it with another 20 good ones up top. I bet he thinks that hi-5s are awesome, which they totally are.

He makes everyone smile, even the grumpiest-looking ones. People are always chatting him up in elevators, in coffee shops and out on the street.

He’s learning how to walk unaided and he’s loving every moment of it. It looks like he’s drunk half the time and the other half, he’s crumbling to the floor and face-planting into stuff but he just gets right up again and keeps going.

He’s also got a great big heart, far bigger than a person his size should be having.

All the time, I think of what a privilege it is to watch him grow and develop a personality and become this really amazing person. I thought I was pretty savvy with the mom thing after having 2 but in a lot of ways, parenting him has been a new and awesome experience. Each kid teaches me something different and I’d like to think that each one of them has helped me to become a better mom.

me and finn

Happy Birthday, my sweet, sweet, snuggly little man!