i embarrass myself sometimes

So this is what a concussion feels like

January 6, 2011

First of all, I’m probably the only parent who will let my kids do this in Ikea. Because there are so many things that could go wrong here, and it’s like I’m just asking for someone to get hurt. Like fingers getting stuck, locks acting up and locking them inside, heads getting knocked, the list is extensive.

But you have to admit, it is too cute. This is exactly why people pay to watch little Chinese acrobatic kids fold themselves into tiny spaces. Within minutes, a small crowd had gathered to watch them crawl in and out of the lockers, with many whipping out their mobile phones for a photo. For real.

So there they were, milking the attention for all it was worth, giggling and doing their peekaboos; pretty much having a whale of a time.

It was all fun until somebody got hurt real bad. And by somebody, I mean me. It all started when Kirsten got her finger stuck and I rushed over to rescue her. As I picked her up, my head came crashing into the edge of the open locker door at the highest tier with a loud bang. But of course, baby girl was more important so I was fussing over her finger while simultaneously rubbing my head when after a while, I saw my whole palm filled with blood.

In all my 28 years, I’ve never bled from the head before and I was pretty sure that’s not a good sign. Also, I was feeling a little woozy from the pain so I just sat there for 15 minutes holding a bag of ice to my head, never mind the fact that I looked like a nutjob.

After an hour of bleeding, I decided to go the doctor to have it checked out, hoping to not have to stitch it up.

Doctor: I’m going to have to stitch this up.

Me: Can’t we like put some cream on it and let me go home?

Doctor: No, unless you want it to get infected and swollen, then you will have to come back.

Me: Does that mean you have to jab me right in the head?

Doctor: Yes, the jab will numb the pain and you won’t feel anything. I’ll also need to give you a tetanus jab.

Me: Isn’t there like a painless way to do this? Like cream?

Doctor: When you knock yourself on the head, this is what happens. You will have to deal with the pain.

Me: True. Then will you give me the tetanus jab in the head where it’s numb?

Doctor: No.

Me: I think I’m going home. I’m gonna risk the infection rather than have a needle stuck in my head.

Doctor: It won’t hurt, just count to 20. You will only feel some mild discomfort when I give you the first jab.

*Every single time a doctor has told me “it won’t hurt”, it has ALWAYS hurt like hell, so I wasn’t really convinced.

The whole time, my sister was sitting there giggling and enjoying seeing a needle get stuck in my brain so I had to man up and take it. FYI, it was insanely painful and it felt exactly like someone sticking a needle in your head. Mild discomfort is when I pick out a big piece of booger. This is nothing like that at all.

As if the pain was not bad enough, I had to watch him snip off a handful of hair “so it won’t get stuck to the wound”. Great, now I have to suffer the indignity of having to choose between a bald patch and a toupee.

Me: Try not to cut off too much, take off as little as you can ok.

Doctor: It’s ok, you can use the rest of your hair to cover it up.

Me: That’s not a good option. Can I even wash my hair?

Doctor: Yes, but not like they do it in the commercials. Try to be gentle when you wash.

That was a total bummer because I *only* wash my hair like I’m filming a commercial, vigorous hair flick and all. I mean, I already have a bald patch, the least you could do is let a girl have her movie star hair wash.

Lesson learnt: when you’re bleeding from the head, it means you’re pretty much screwed.

Updated: PS When I said that this year, I was going to embrace pain, this wasn’t what I had in mind. Not quite so literally. I think I’ve hit my pain quota for the month, thankyouverymuch.

PPS Tru knocked his head very gently on the bed today and said “Mommy my head very PAIN, got blood. I need to put ice pack.”

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milestones & musings, picture perfect

Where we got a big sweep. And I don’t mean the lottery.

January 4, 2011

My brother got married over the weekend in a gorgeous, gorgeous wedding. It’s been a long time coming and we’re all thrilled to have a new addition to the family.

My new sister-in-law, henceforth to be known as big sweep (it’s Chinese for your elder brother’s wife, don’t ask).

Truett was the page boy (his very first time) and I had to bribe him with peanuts to make sure he walked down the aisle exactly like he practiced. I was half expecting him to freeze or choke with all the attention but just before he was supposed to make his grand entrance, he was all like “Mommy, Truett walk very well can get 5 peanuts” and I was all “Tru, if you walk very well, you can get 10.”

My boy did such a fantastic job walking that he ended up with 28 peanuts. After he was done with the peanuts, he said “Truett need to walk very well again.” Um, nice try but that’s a one-time offer; promotion no longer valid.

Congrats, big brother. Now hurry go have some babies so the kids will have some cousins to play with.

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milestones & musings, seriously somewhat serious, unqualified parenting tips

Make it a year you’ll remember

January 2, 2011

2010 has been good to us in so many ways. It has also been so tough in so many ways. But I’ve come to learn that as far as the really memorable years go, they’ve got a lot of great moments and the overcoming of monumentally bad ones. And so I’m thankful for both.

This new year, I have a feeling is going to be a really big one. I can just feel it in my bones. Exactly like how I can feel it in my bones when it’s about to rain. It’s like a superpower, although the husband calls it a medical condition. Maybe I’m special that way, I have a feeling about things and I’m usually right 37% of the time, sometimes even less.

I jotted down several resolutions for the new year and you’re welcome to steal them.

1. I will not simply choose the path of least resistance.

Instinctively, I am averse to any sort of pain and hardship. Which is possibly why I managed to not exercise for an entire decade, with the exception of a couple of shopping sprees along Orchard Road. Tragically, all that got me was a 170-pound ass (at my heaviest), which as you can guess, created a hell of a lot more resistance.

This year, I’m going to embrace hardship and pain will be my best friend. Not because I’m mental but because it makes me stronger. What doesn’t kill you usually does.

2. I will not be afraid to fail.

I’ve always been the safe sort of kid, choosing to err on the side of caution rather than playing big and risking it all. I guess you can say that I’m terrified of failure. The good thing is that most of my life choices have been safe – the right schools, the safe subjects, the proper jobs. The bad thing is that there’s always a ceiling for safety. That’s just the rules in this game called life – those that win big have risked big.

3. I will pay for what I want in blood, sweat and tears.

Ok, that’s just a little overdramatic. But truth is, the really good things in life require a price, usually in the form of effort and sacrifice; while the things that come easy usually aren’t worth a lot. To quote my new Master Shifu, “If you want something, you got to fight for it. It doesn’t come for free.” Touche.

4. I will dare to dream. BIG.

Dreams can be worthless or they can be worth everything. Just ask Leo Di Cap. *Cue deadly voice: “I specialize in a very specific type of security…”

Also, a lot depends on whether they come true or not. Only thing is, without dreams in the first place, there won’t be anything to come true. Or to fight for, for that matter.

This year, I’ve got exciting things in the pipeline. Some of them awesome, most of them ridiculous, but all of them pretty exciting. To end with a cliche, the year is going to be as good as you want it to be. I used to think that was nonsense because nobody *wants* a crappy year but here’s a secret. If you’re happy to cruise, there’s not enough wanting. If you really, really want it, you will fight for it with everything you’ve got.

So here’s to a spectacular year, one filled with so much awesomeness you’ll have to beat it off with a large bat to make room for even more.

Happy New Year, everyone!

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