Funny or So I think, stuff best described as not safe for parents

I’ll remember to blog when I’m in jail

January 11, 2011

This came in the mail yesterday. In an important-looking On Government Service envelope so at first I thought we were going to be given some GST credits or something. Until the husband opened it up and it was basically a warrant for our arrest for making nuisance calls to the police hotline.

Whoever said that having kids was boring clearly didn’t have my kids. With my kids, I have to be prepared to be hauled off to jail at anytime for something that’s not even my fault. Well technically, it is possibly my fault because I should be vigilant and preempt all the mischief they get up to but there’s no way I would have expected my 18-month & 30-month-old kids to dial 999 and then breathe heavily at the police officer.

As the responsible, law-abiding citizens that we are, this is not something we find in the mail everyday. Or ever. Worst part was that we didn’t even get to feel all badass about prank-calling the police just for fun (yeah, don’t tell me you’ve never wanted to do that). Now I have to be extra careful to make sure they don’t prank call the police again or get hauled off to jail.

Also, Mr. Police Officer, there’s really no use putting the phone on a high ledge somewhere because there’s no place to high for the kids to reach. Especially since they learnt that dragging a stool around the house gives them a height-boost. One time I came into the room to find them scaling the window grilles in their room (which were securely locked but it didn’t stop me from going psycho-mom on them for dangerous behavior).

The way I see it, the only probable option was rehabilitation, where I made them realize the severity of the issue. So I gathered the kids and told them that they weren’t supposed to play with the phone and particularly not to dial 999 under any circumstances.

Tru looked very serious during the talk and after I was done, he grabbed his chest, gave a fake cough and said “Truett never play with the phone. I need to call the ambulance because I’m very sick.”

I’m pretty sure that’s a sign my kid is way too smart for his own good. That’s also a sign we are probably going to be arrested.

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unqualified parenting tips

Fact: we can all be right at the same time

January 10, 2011

The longer I am a parent, the more I realize I don’t know about parenting.

It’s one of those things we all want to be good at, but there’s no one right way to do it. Now we may all be passionate about our revolutionary way of parenting, which we think is superior to all other methods, but there can’t possibly be a billion *best* methods of parenting. Or can there?

A parent who places great importance on building a child’s self esteem will chose to value encouragement and praise over the need to achieve. While another parent may believe that inculcating values like hard work and tenacity is more important than feeling good about yourself. Some parents are paranoid about cleanliness and proper nutrition, others don’t mind a little bit of dirt and french fries. Some parents are disciplinarians, some are friends and some just freestyle, winging it along the way.

In a way, all of those methods are great. And all of those parents are awesome in their own right. They all want the best for their kids and are willing to do what it takes to make that happen. While their idea of “what’s best” differs, one thing’s for sure – they hope to give their kids a better life than they had.

When I went for a school trip to visit a sports school in Beijing in 1996, I was appalled to find out that some kids were sent to the sports school from as young as 2 years old. From the time they could walk, they started training for 10 hours a day, doing splits and upside-down hanging stunts and by 16, they were Olympic Gold medalists. When I was 2, I spent most of my time watching cartoons and having tea with my imaginary friend. 13 years later, I got my ass whipped by 10-year-olds on the basketball court. And I thought I was good back home. Sometimes I think of who’s got the better life and I’m not sure. Maybe them, maybe me. But I guess it all depends on what’s our definition of better.

And on that note, most parents tend to overcompensate for the things they lacked in their lives. If we had strict parents, we try to be more loving and give our kids more freedom to live their own dreams. If we didn’t have an opportunity for a good education, we push our kids to study harder, become better students. If we wanted to be an athlete but couldn’t, we send our kids to gymnastics and tennis classes, hoping they’d turn out to be the next Federer. Or Nadal.

On this journey of parenting, we all want to know that we’re doing the right thing. Just because of that, you probably already are. Unless you’re shooting them up with drugs or flogging them with chains, then I suggest getting some help. Otherwise, the important thing is to keep learning and doing what we know is right. There’s no shame in having to learn new ways to be a better parent and changing the way we do parenting.

At the end of the day, whatever you do (especially the difficult bits), stamp it with love. That’ll make you a great parent.

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coolest kids ever

Is is just me or is 2-and-a-half too young to be this emo?

January 6, 2011

Being all emo and walking around with oversized headphones is a prerogative of angsty teenagers, I get that. I am mentally prepared to deal with that when the kids turn 13. But 2-and-a-half, that’s kind of a little early, innit?

Sullen emo expressions, check. Giant earphones, check. General air of disinterest, check. Poser earphone-grabbing actions, check.

I was going on and on about how he’s supposed to finish his lunch before he could go to the playground and he was staring at me blankly like “Are you talking to me momma? This is awesome I can’t hear a single word you’re saying.. *po-po-po-poker face*”

Just one question: Am I going to have to deal with this for the next 15 years or does this mean he will grow out of this by 6?

Please say it’s the latter.

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