motherhood

If yesterday was a lesson, it’d be: enjoy the journey

One of the perks of stay-home mothering is room for spontaneity, a quality often sacrificed in exchange for scheduled routines and regularity.

Yesterday though, was one of those days I decided to play the spontaneity card and be all “ok forget routine, let’s go do something fun just because we can.” Right after they got up from their naps, I told the kids we were going on a field trip to the airport. By bus. Just with mommy.

A year ago, I would have considered something like this to be a suicide mission and not to mention, a physical impossibility. I would have needed to carry 2 kids, a stroller and a diaper bag UP A BUS AND TRAIN. Now I’m not a public transport snob (even though I haven’t been on a bus for 2 years), but the thought of hauling 2 kids and half a mobile home up a bus seems ridiculous. I would have been the mother who dropped a kid while struggling to tap my EZ-link card with my teeth as the rest of the passengers gasped in horror.

Before we left the house, I gave them a pep talk to lay down some ground rules.

1. They were to carry their own bags so I could saunter freely along.

2. They were to hold my hands at all times.

3. No whining or tantrums or meltdowns.

Any violations would result in immediate termination and we would turn right back around, hop into a cab and head straight home (that was my back up plan for when something goes awry).

Long story short, it was a hugely successful field trip, one that will be remembered for all time as THE MOST AWESOME FIELD TRIP ALONE WITH MOMMY. They were on their best behavior the whole time, waiting patiently for the bus, sitting absolutely still on the train and following every instruction I gave (at one point, I made them do the Hot Potato dance just for my own entertainment). The journey to the airport took me an hour and a half and we enjoyed every moment of it.

So then that made me realize that I was guilty of being so destination-driven all the time. We talk about “enjoying the ride” like the overused catchphrase that it is without actually meaning it because the journey is so like meh, totally boring.

But for the kids, the journey was as much a highlight as the destination. Being on the bus and train was as enjoyable as being at the airport. So instead of stoning out and wishing the travelling wasn’t such a pain, I should just stop and enjoy the crap out of the journey.

Looking back at our recent Florida trip, some of the best moments we had was during the journey – waiting for the bus to arrive or being on the tram talking for hours. Sure, the destination was all kinds of fun but those long talks and bonding sessions, we had them on the go.

In short, remember to enjoy the journey, won’t you?

PS. I wanted to take some pictures but being alone on an adventure with both kids, I kind of had my hands full. You’ll just have to use your imagination.

coolest kids ever

When I grow up, I’m going to be a race car driver

From time to time, I like to imagine the kids in different occupations. Occasionally, I take it a step further and dress them up for more realistic visualization. Most of them have flopped miserably and as a result have been struck off the list.

This one made it to the possible-but-potentially-problematic list, and only because baby girl totally rocks the race car driver look.

Truett got stuck with the job of the reluctant chauffeur coolie. He doesn’t rock that look so much; I’ll have to work on his list of approved occupations.

As a back up plan, we’re also adding playground safety officer to baby girl’s list. Not quite as prestigious as a race car driver but they always tell you to work on their strengths and she is really good at limbering up and making sure the playgrounds are safe for babies.

blogging about blogging

Photography 101

I never thought I’d be doing a post on photography because I’m hardly what you call an expert. Even enthusiast would be pushing it because I’m admittedly no shutterbug.

Back in NTU, I did do an obligatory course on photography (it was 202 for all the CS folks) where we all had to present our pictures to the class at the end of the course. Everyone had these artistic shots with brilliant lighting and composition while mine was truly appalling. It was like rows of bananas (I know, like what??) and as if to prevent my awful shots from mauling their eyes, I had to distract them by going on about capturing the mundaneness of everyday life; seeing the beauty in the ordinary blah blah blah. After the presentation, I turned to the husband (back then, just the boyfriend) and said “that was terrible wasn’t it?” and he paused for a moment then replied, “um, yeah babe, but hey, you’re really good at other stuff!”

Right then, I decided that this thing called “the eye for photography”, I didn’t have it.

But it’s probably a mothering thing, this need to capture the moments of your kids’ lives. Which is the main reason I decided to pick up a camera again. Recently, I’ve had a few emails from readers asking for photography tips and while I can’t give you guys professional photography lessons, there are several things I’ve learnt from other photographers that may be helpful to you. Most of these I’ve learnt from observing others (which is the best way to learn really) and handy tips others have shared.

1. Get a DSLR camera.

I know it’s pricey and bulky and complicated and a pain to learn andall that, but all good photographers will tell you that getting a DSLR is the best investment they’ve made. I’m not saying that a point and shoot can’t take good shots but there’s a limit to the things it can do, especially when it comes to shutter speed and aperture. In that one-second lag using a p&s, the moment would have passed and you’d end up with a blurry photo. When I use a p&s, I’m always going “WAIT HANG ON DON’T MOVE… GAH DO THAT AGAIN!” and there’d be another mass of blur. A DSLR can perform spectacularly in low light settings and capture those wonderful moments even when the kids refuse to sit still for a shot. I’ve given up asking them not to move so I take 10 shots in succession and usually, one will be good.

On the topic of price, you can easily start out with a secondhand Canon 400D that costs $380 and a Canon 50mm f1.8 that costs an additional $90 from Clubsnap. That’s about the price of a point and shoot. Instead of spending $3000 to get a brand new top of the line DSLR set, go easy and only when your needs/abilities outgrow your body and lens, upgrade them along the way.

2. Practice, practice, practice.

Honestly, the best way to learn is to keep taking shots. Experiment with different camera angles, focal lengths, apertures and compositions to see what works best. Try standing up, squatting down or even lying on the floor. Shoot from the front, the back, the side, the top and bottom. There’s really no hard and fast rule, so try to capture the feeling rather than worry about a set of rules.

3. Learn from the experts.

The other best way to improve your photography is to observe and learn from the best. My personal favorites are Ree Drummond, Kelle Hampton and Mckmama. Sometimes, I even select their best pictures and print out tearsheets when I go out for my shoots so that I can try and replicate the compositions and style. And no, that’s not technically cheating, just learning.

4. Try not to shoot on automatic mode.

Ideally, manual mode is the way to go because the pictures tend to look a bit flat if you’re on auto all the time. Manual works great for landscape shots but I still find it too tricky when I’m shooting moving objects, which I typically set to aperture priority (Av). Also, try to manually adjust the focal point instead of leaving it on auto so you can select the spot you want to focus on. Most of the time, I set it on the kids’ eyes so that it’s tack sharp unless I’m trying to highlight what they’re doing or what’s in their hands, then I adjust accordingly.

5. Styling.

This, I learnt looking at Kelle Hampton’s pictures. Her girls are always dressed up so beautifully and decked out in all kinds of pretty accessories. There’s a lot of behind-the-scenes effort to make the pictures really pop. Especially with girls, you can go all out with the hair clips, sunglasses, hats, pins and necklaces, remembering that it’s ok to be a little flamboyant because that makes a photo stand out a lot more than messy hair and boring old discolored rompers that have been worn by their previous 5 siblings.

After a while, you’ll be able to tell which angles work best for your kids. Unless both sides of their face are symmetrical (hellooo Jude Law), there’s usually a side that shows up better in pictures. Find that side and work it. After all, a good photo brings out the best qualities of a person.

Usually, baby girl hates having stuff jabbed into her hair but this one lasted a while before she yanked it off.

6. Lightroom.

Purists will say that editing a photo is cheating but until the day my skills are badass enough for me to look at a shot straight out of camera and go “man, that is one hell of a good shot!”, I’ll have to touch up the pictures. For me, Adobe Lightroom serves that purpose very well. A lot use Photoshop but I find that Lightroom is easy enough to learn and powerful enough to do a great job. Again, there’s a lot of trial and error here. I usually look at an example of a good photo and try to replicate it by adjusting the lighting, contrast, vibrance, cropping, etc. There are also tons of Lightroom presets you can use to make your job easier.

This is a before/after comparison of an earlier shoot. Out of camera, it was ok at best. It was underexposed, the shot composition was weirdish, and the colors were too dull but with a bit of Lightroom tweaking, it popped.

These are just some of the basics to get you started but the important thing is to practice and enjoy it. Give it a shot!