side effects of motherhood

Motherhood – the gift that doesn’t stop giving

March 13, 2012

You know how people always say that motherhood is a gift? Nay, not just a gift, but a great, big, giant hamper of tiny little gifts just waiting to pop out and yell “SURPRISE” just when you least expect it.

The longer I’ve been a mom, the more I find this to be true. Except that some of these gifts I welcome with open arms but then there are those that I’d much rather not have, thankyouverymuch. It’s like Motherhood is this mean old woman who’s handing over a shiny box filled with worms and I’m like “um thanks, but I’ll pass” and she’s all “no, take it” and I’ll be all “no, seriously, there’s really no need, I’m good” and she shoves it into my hands with a snarly “I SAID TAKE IT” and then disappears.

Sort of like that, but worse because I’d take worms over these presents any day. Ok just to illustrate my point, here are some of them.

1. Broken Bladder. 

Oh, yes. Ever wonder why some women stop dead in their tracks when they have to sneeze? Because after you have a baby, it’s physically impossible to walk and sneeze at the same time without peeing your pants a little. Or a lot. Whenever I feel a sneeze coming on, I have to casually find a nice spot to sit for a minute or so until I’m done.

2. Lopsided Boobs

These were my boobs before I had kids.

These are my boobs now.

Nuff’ said.

3. Stretch Marks.

If you’ve ever attempted to put concealer on your stomach area in an effort to reduce the visible signs of stretch marks while wearing your bikini, bring it on in for a hi-5. No? Just me then.

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not feeling so supermom

UPDATED: Just another manic Monday

March 12, 2012

Is it Monday already? Truett was admitted to the hospital for breathing difficulties on Saturday evening and it has all been a blur since then. As it usually is when your child is hospitalized – everything else gets put on hold until they get better.

He told us he was feeling “quite sick” on Friday morning, which was accompanied by fake cough and a mild temperature. It seemed like one of those illnesses I used to conjure to get out of school but that he managed to give himself a slight fever was quite impressive so I kept him at home the entire day. It was apparent that he inherited my talent for faking illnesses. Back when we did have those fancy head thermometers, I used to drink a glass of hot water and stuff a hot water bottle under my armpits to raise my body temperature. It almost always worked.

Anyhow, not going to school seemed to cure his little malady and he was perfectly fine and spritely for the rest of the day.

Saturday morning, he woke up looking really sick. The fake cough got decidedly nasty and he was curled up on the floor looking miserable. For him to do that on a Saturday morning meant he had to be feeling really ill.

He got progressively worse throughout the day and by evening, his breath was labored and he was making very alarming whistling sounds with his breath.

At 9pm, we decided to bring him into the Children’s A&E just in case. He was whisked into the treatment room for oxygen and several rounds of the inhaler thing before he finally got warded at 2am.

After lots of oxygen some steroid meds and many puffs of the inhaler, he’s looking better. The good thing is that it’s a virus and not chronic asthma, which means that this shouldn’t happen too frequently, or ever again.

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers. Hopefully he’ll be able to come home today.

UPDATE: Tru is back home and recovering nicely. Still has to be supervised for the next couple of days but he’s doing much better. He’s running around without wheezing or gasping for air, which is a good sign. :)

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coolest kids ever

Hopefully this will be the last one

March 8, 2012

So just when you think that I couldn’t possibly write another post about sleep training, why yes, there’s another one of those babies coming right up. I know you’re probably like “Seriously woman, how difficult can sleep training be? Just make them sleep in their own room and be done with it already. My kids have been sleep-trained since they were 4-weeks old.”

Except that I’ve never been very successful at making the kids do anything at all. Unless those things are like watching TV and eating ice-cream, I have like a 37% success rate at making them do what I say.

But then out of the blue, it just happened. For the past 3 nights, they went to bed in their room at 9 and the next time I saw them was at 7 in the morning. I couldn’t be sure if it was a case of them being too exhausted to even stir the whole night or that they were able to fall back asleep even after waking up in the middle of the night. I suspected it was the first one, but at least there was HOPE.

Fast forward to last night. My room door creaked open at 3.40 am, and I could sense the presence of a little person standing at the doorway. My head was all “OH NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. Not tonight, you don’t.”

You see, when the sleep training began, I knew it was going to be rough so I stored up on my sleep by going to bed the same time they did. That way, I’d still be able to clock a good 6 hours before they crashed my slumber party at 3-ish. But after 3 nights of non-disturbed sleep in a row, I decided to spend that extra sleeping time watching Cougar Town last night. Which I did till almost 2 in the morning.

So when Kirsten shuffled her way in last night, I felt totally cheated.

“I just want to hug you one time,” she said. “I cannot sleep in mommy’s room right? I sleep in my own room kor kor will protect me.” With that, she turned and went back to her room.

I waited for another 10 minutes and the silence that ensued was the sweet, sweet sound of a GLORIOUS VICTORY.

This morning, I told her I was so proud of her for being brave and we did a victory dance together while I made plans to continue my Cougar Town marathon tonight.

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