Having a child makes you live life in extremes. It’s like getting on a terrifying roller coaster without a stop button. About half the time, you’re all “WOOT! This is the most awesome moment of my life” and then you’re all “Why did I do this? HELPPP I AM GOING TO DIE!!”
There’s really no in between. You don’t get on the Battlestar Galactica and twiddle your thumbs in boredom. You strap in tight and hope for the best.
On a side note, all this intensity is probably why parents just can’t shut up about their kids. Even when they look like they’re listening politely to what you’re saying, they’re just waiting for the next opportunity to cut in and tell you about the time their kid made an unidentified mass out of lego isn’t that so precious??
After you make a baby, all your interactions with them fall into 1 of 2 categories. My inner geek had to come up with a chart.
You’ve heard of the 80-20 rule. Behold the 55-45 rule.
When you’re a parent, you’ll know that there’s like a secret toddler contest to see who comes up with the most creative way to drive their parents insane and the winner gets to have street cred for being the most badass baby. Trust me, every kid is in on it. In that game, there’s only one rule: torment your parents for exactly 45% of the time, and after that, get your cute on.
The key lies in the 5%.
The truth is, having a kid changes you. You’ll probably never love anything as much as you love them. You used to love ice-cream or bags or shoes but you’ll gladly give it all up for them. You’ll do crazy stuff like fight off a rabid bear, or in my case, engage in a death match with a lizard for them. You’ll talk about them incessantly even when you know how annoying it is for everyone else. You’ll hold them in your arms after a bad day and suddenly feel like the world is beautiful again.
People ask me what’s the big deal about having kids. If it’s so hard and you have to give up so much, why do it?
It’s the experience. The most sublime joy I’ve ever felt. The rush of loving something more than I ever thought possible and knowing that they love me back just as much. Well, at least until they get married and have their own kids.
It’s the magic 5%.
10 Comments
The magic 5%… and the fact we get amnesia about the 45% of the times most times… keeps us going :)
San´s last post ..Holiday Art Workshops – and a giveaway!
Haha yes the amnesia! It’s what makes you want more kids
Ah, indeed, that magic 5% that makes everything worth it.
oh crap… i think i’m somewhat a geek to and I should understand pie-charts but i don’t get the 5% thing. I think I’m seriously sleep-deprived and might need some sleep soon…
oh yes but parenting is magical, 5% or 45% or 55% or 100% (one of these percentages should be right)
D
NerdyMum´s last post ..NerdSpeak: Nobel Hits and Miss
is that why i’m not lusting over bags so much now? i feel guilty if i spend on indulgent things when i know the money is going to be well spent going into T’s endowment fund or something for him.
oh noooo…does this mean, no more ME??
but then, 我愿意! :D
Totally know what you mean! Now all our purchases are considered in terms of milk powder and school fees.
I think that lovely 5% occurs very often when we watch them sleep. They just look so angelica and peaceful.. hard to even imagine that they are little monsters for 45% of the time :P
Ai Sakura´s last post ..Sponsor Shoutout: Nov 11
Agree! The sleeping accounts for much of magic 5%
that powerful magical 5% makes all the difference :)
Hear hear.