The terrible twos are upon us again, this time courtesy of my not so baby girl.
I can’t believe it’s been more than a year ago that I was doing this with Tru. He used to have episodes where he would fling himself to the ground in rage and scream non stop in public places.
Logically, I know this is a phase and I have been preparing myself mentally for it for several months now but being in it is not the same. Whenever she’s upset (which happens frequently), she squats down (very civilized, thankfully none of that flinging to the ground business), clenches her fists, scrunches up her face and makes gorilla-mouthed screaming noises. Then I just think to myself “WHO TOOK MY SWEET LITTLE BABY GIRL AND SWAPPED IT WITH AN TINY ANGRY GORILLA?”
It actually looks very cute in an I-just-want-to-squeeze-her-tight sort of way but that only makes her lose it even more.
So I’ve developed a guide to dealing with toddler tantrums:
1. The more people there are, the more likely they are to scream louder and longer. With an audience, they start to think they’re Claire Danes going all emo in Romeo and Juliet so bring them to a deserted, preferably dimly-lit corner for them to wake up their idea.
2. There’s no point offering temporary distractions. Usually the iPhone is a wonderful distraction tool and I offered it to Kirsten when she was having a meltdown only to have her swipe at furiously like a frienzied monkey while screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOO. It sent my iPhone crashing to the ground and got me all upset. It’s not good to have more than one upset person at one time.
3. You can’t hug the tantrum out of them. You know how on TV, the girl will have a tantrum and the guy will hold her while she beats his chest but then after a while, she stops because she realizes that she’s being unreasonable and a hug makes it all better. Um, DOES NOT WORK ON BABIES. You try hugging them in the middle of a tantrum and they will give you a flying kick to the jaw. That’ll solve nothing and give you mommy-rejection issues. Trust me on that one.
4. Forget trying to talk reason into them. First of all, on good days, they’re barely able to handle reasonable discourse. Trying to talk sense into a screaming child is like trying to talking sense to an actual angry gorilla. Good luck with that.
5. For the good news, they will get tired and calm down eventually. It can take 5 minutes or 45 minutes, depending on how upset and resilient they are. Sometimes, we all just need a good scream to make us feel better and that’s the point to get your momma lovin’ on.
5 Comments
Oh, the tantrums… I remember them well. On one hand I remind myself that they are just babies, and can’t control their emotions well. And as an adult, I got to handle the situation well enough for the both of us.
Sure doesn’t make it easier though! Hahaha!
My heart’s with you during this time. :D May the sweet gal (and peace and quiet) return to your household soon! Haha!
San´s last post ..An ode to the mozzie
I’ve taken to leaving her to cry/ scream a bit when she has her mini melt downs, they usually happen after 7pn when I get home from work. Before that it seems, everyone tells me what an angel she is. *rolls eyes*
M´s last post ..Nesting
Daphne, I perked up and sat up so straight in my seat when I read your title on this. And when I got to the iphone one, I thought YAY!!! An easy way out.. then I realised.
Oh. I’m not the one with the iphone. THe iphone only comes home after 5pm on weekdays.
*deflate*
[…] exactly the way you are for the next 25 years. Ok no, I take that back. Grow to the point where you outgrow your terrible twos, then stop. I’m really hoping that’s tomorrow. When you’re not upset or screamy, […]
[…] first, I thought it was still part of her Terrible Two phase, but she’s since outgrown those unreasonable screaming fits that cannot be pacified. These […]