Quite easily done

I didn’t think I’d be saying this but this whole discipline thing has been getting easier now that the kids are a little bigger. For one, I hardly have to deal with them screaming and melting dramatically into the floor anymore.

Right now they’re at this wonderful age where they’re old enough to understand reason yet too young to do the defiant eye-roll and stomp off while raining curses at me under their breath. Oh, I am perfectly certain that the day will come because I was once the master of the killer eye-roll. If my kids are anything like me, I’m probably doomed so I’m just glad I still have time to figure out what I’m going to do when that day comes.

These days, I employ a 2-pronged approach to discipline. For misdemeanors like snatching toys or refusing to pack their room, they face the wall for 5 minutes. After the period of quiet reflection, they will usually calm down and wake up their idea. But for insolence and blatant disobedience, they face the wall and then have their privileges revoked – usually their favorite show on TV or their daily quota of gummies.

While I was bathing Kirsten yesterday, Tru came to ask if he could waterbomb my toilet with a handful of clear plastic bags. Um, let’s see, NO.

“Ok, fine,” he mumbled.

I had a feeling he was up to no good so I yelled after him, “I’m serious, don’t do it. Keep the bags. We’ll do waterbombs another day.”

By the time Kirsten was done, I found him in my toilet filling up the bags with water. For that, I told him he wasn’t allowed to watch Jake and the Neverland Pirates that evening. When the show started, he begged and pleaded but to no avail. I was sticking to my guns. His eyes filled up with little drops of tears when he saw Kirsten watching it, but he forced himself not to cry.

“Would you like to sit on the couch with momma to read a book?” I asked, not sure if he would throw a hissy fit or scream or flail.

He peered at his sister longingly from outside the door, then held his blankie and nodded, still with tears in his eyes. For 10 minutes, he sat on my lap and read a book while trying not to pay any attention to the happy piratey songs in the background. I knew it was excruciating for him and he was really trying to be good about it.

“Tru, you did really well so you get early parole for good behavior. There’s still 20 minutes of Jake left, you can go watch now.”

“THANK YOU MOMMY!” he grabbed my neck in a bear hug before running off.

After having my butt kicked by parenting for so long, it was nice to feel like a rock star for a change.