Yearly Archives

2009

kids inc, motherhood

Daddy’s Girl and other tales of gender bias

November 30, 2009

There’s just something about girls and their fathers. At five months, baby girl is unabashedly biased. She’s a daddy’s girl through and through, just like mama was.

I know exactly what it’s like because I was a daddy’s girl too. I loved hanging out with my dad, whether it was running errands, having a latte or secretly eating a double whopper just before dinner and then pretending to pick at our nutritious, home-cooked food after that. You need mommies when you’re sick and miserable, but daddies, daddies are *special*. Maybe it’s the feeling of security that fathers provide, like they’re going to make everything ok.

Tru lights up when daddy’s around but not excessively so. Kirsten, however, goes into her “where’s my daddy” mode all day from the time daddy goes to work, right up to the point when daddy comes home. She’ll be all like nonchalant all day with momma around. I mean, once in a while, she will oblige me with a patronizing smile if I try real hard to make her laugh, like “erm, ok mom, you can take the chopsticks out of your nostrils now.” When she learns how to talk, I won’t be surprised if she asks me what time daddy is coming home about 200 times a day.

where's my daddy?

where's my daddy?

And the moment she hears daddy’s voice go “hey baby girl, I’m home!”, she breaks out into the widest grin of her life. Her eyes dart to the door and she starts to chuckle and gurgle, like she’s trying to get daddy’s attention. So far, no one else but daddy has succeeded in making her giggle. It’s like he doesn’t even try and she’s giggling like well, a little girl. And the look of sheer delight when she’s in daddy’s arms, that’s priceless. NOT FAIR. How come I don’t get that kind of reception when I step out huh?

But I don’t really mind though, because I’m reluctantly going to admit that daddies are cooler. They teach you how to do all the badass stuff like making a fire with stones and killing zombies with a sledgehammer. Moms just make you eat your vegetables and clean your room.

So I’m cool with having a daddy’s girl. As long as we get to have our special girly time doing manicures. sticking rollers in our hair and checking out hot guys.

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milestones & musings

Of all the things to be, it’s best to be thankful

November 28, 2009

Thanksgiving is not big here but it should be though. We all need to remember to be thankful once in a while, before we get so caught up in how life’s not fair because we don’t have a private jet in our backyard.

When you’re thankful, you look at what you have rather than what you don’t have. When you’re thankful, you can give to others because you’ve been given much. When you’re thankful, you find the silver lining.

So it’s good for me to take time just to be thankful and to teach the kids to do the same. I woke up this morning and here’s all the stuff that I’m thankful for.

For a husband who is my best friend and my pillar of strength. When I get insomnia after watching Harry Potter and the HBP at midnight (because it’s scary alright), he stays up to hug me and tell me that he’ll protect me if death eaters come knocking. Then he wakes up early to watch the kids while I sleep in because I had a rough night.

For the most awesome kids in the history of kids. They’re beautiful and happy and healthy and they make me smile even when I’m up to my elbows in human excretions.

For a family that I love and who loves me. That even though we’re not perfect and we don’t see eye to eye all the time, family means that we stick together no matter what. As far as families go, sometimes that’s all we need. Sticking together. Also, they help me watch the kids so we can take a breather every week.

For friends, new and old. There’s nothing better than having old friends to share a cuppa with. And for new friends, who in time to come, will become old friends.

But above all, I’m most thankful because I know what it means to be loved unconditionally. That no matter how bad things get, I know that it’s going to be ok because God is good. Like really, really good.

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how i pretend to be a cool mum, lists you should paste on your fridge, stuff best described as not safe for parents

To game or not to game

November 24, 2009

Gaming runs in my blood. My brother is a gamer, my sister is a social gamer (she does it when I’m missing a player and I force her to), I’m a gamer and I married a gamer. When I took a shopping trip to Bangkok with my mom and my sis, the husband was over at my house gaming with my brother for 5 days straight (most days without sleeping). Me, I spent 90 hours on Final Fantasy XII alone and I’m pretty sure I’ll top that when FF XIII is out.

So it’s not surprising that my son is also a gamer. I say you can tell a gamer from the way they hold a controller because it’s your best friend, your weapon. You can’t just hold it like it’s a potato. The grip must be firm but not too tight and your fingers must have enough room to maintain dexterity. This you can’t teach.

While some parents freak out at the fact that their kids are playing computer games at 7, I’m proud to say that my 17-month-old boy holds a controller like a pro. Peruse exhibit A.

truett controller

That's how you hold a controller. See the concentration it takes.

That's Winning Eleven. No fighting games till he turns 21.

That's Winning Eleven. No fighting games till he turns 21.

You should probably know by now that my parenting style is rather unorthodox. I know all about the research that shows a correlation between gaming and violent behavior in children (if you try hard enough, you can also find correlation between a caterpillar and ballroom dancing). And the argument that it hinders social development or promotes parasocial interaction. And the fact that it’s bad for the eyes, or how the flickering light can cause epilepsy.

But in my defense, here’s what I’ve got to say. Gaming is wonderful because

1. It trains your fingers to be dexterous. Everyone knows that dexterous fingers are vital to becoming a surgeon. (just watch Grey’s Anatomy) So just look at it as giving him a headstart to becoming a top class cardiovascular surgeon. I bet Christina Yang can kick some serious ass at Viva Pinata.

2. It trains you to think fast and think out of the box. How else would you be able to rescue the princess and fight your way out of a burning castle with 20,000 minions with katanas on your tail? Mental strength and creativity, that’s how.

3. It relieves stress through catharsis. You have a crappy day and gaming helps you to let off some steam. It’s not good to keep all that bad emotions bottled up inside because then you become a sullen, angsty teen that uses your parents as punching bags. The secret to a happy and *fulfilled* childhood is to take it out on all the baddies in Metal Gear Solid 4.

4. You can learn to play musical instruments and eventually form a real rock band like the Jonas Brothers U2 and become a superstar. If you want to succeed, you can’t be sitting around on your ass pretending to do assessment books because you’re afraid your mother is going to whip your ass. It takes practice. On Rock Band 2.

5. You can play computer games for a living and get rich by winning competitions. Now that’s job satisfaction for you.

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literally a crappy post, stuff best described as not safe for parents

Love is

November 23, 2009

I dare say, very few things gross me out as a mom. Not after I’ve been vomited, peed and pooped on with poop of various consistencies. I’ve had my son draw a mural on the floor with his own crap. One time, a stray piece of poop was found under the sofa, and by the time we found it, it looked like it was alive because it was buzzing with flies. Don’t ask.

Suffice to say, my tolerance for all things gross is legendary. For example, I can scrape crap off his diaper with my bare hands without flinching. After a while, you think that you’ve seen it all but the thing with kids, they are a lot more creative than you give them credit for.

Last week, baby Kirsten has raised the grossness stakes and it is the best one yet.

So usually, I like to sit her on my chest while I’m lying down on the bed and sing to her. It’s one of our favorite daily activities. Sitting on momma’s chest and listening to me belt out Jason Mraz. She’ll put her face real close to mine and gaze into my eyes, which is awfully sweet and very good for bonding time.

Except that this time, I must have been jiggling her too much and right in the middle of my I’m Yours rendition, she regurgitated and threw up right INTO MY MOUTH and all over the rest of my face. (I swear some went into my eye) On retrospect, it was like I was asking for it because 1. gravity works against me by pulling the stream of vomit downwards towards my face, 2. my heartfelt number requires me to open my mouth real wide and 3. with her sitting on my chest, there is absolutely nowhere to run without flinging her off me.

These are moments in life where things happen very fast but when you are at the receiving end, your mind processes it in slow motion and there was a split second where I was thinking “I’m pretty sure baby girl is about to vomit into my mouth and I should do something about it. I think I should close my mouth. But what if it hits me in the eye? Does that mean I’m going to go blind? Maybe I should catch it with my mouth so that it doesn’t blind me. Oh crap.” Yes, my brain processes all that information in a split second.

Now that I think about it, I should have gone with closing both my mouth but my ninja reflexes failed me when I needed them most and I got thrown up on good and proper.

The silver lining is that I learnt something new from this and I’ll share it with you so you don’t have to learn it the hard way.

Love is having someone vomit into your mouth and not freaking out because you don’t want to scare her, so you take a moment to put her down gingerly, wipe the puke from your eyes and proceed to throw up the entire contents of your lunch.

Also, when somebody is about to vomit on your face, close both your eyes and your mouth.

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Comic Relief, kids inc

Brothers and sisters

November 19, 2009

Despite the insanity of having kids back to back, I’m more convinced than ever that it’s really awesome to have a sibling to grow up with. Spacing out the gap is easier on the parents but the bigger the age difference, the tougher it is for them to be best friends. I always wished I had a twin to play with, but having a brother who was a year older was pretty cool too.

As a kid, you can spend 15 minutes fussing over a baby, but after a while, you want to play with kids your age. And when you’re a teenager, it’s not cool when your 7-year-old kid sister wants to tag along on your outings with your friends, especially if you’re going out with a boy you’re trying to impress.

So I’m really glad the kids are taking well to each other.

Top 5 saccharine sweet sibling moments ever.

1. When Kirsten cries, Tru will drop his toys and go over to pat her on the head. It sometimes makes it worse but 100 points for effort.

2. Having them sit down and talk to each other. It’s like they’re having a real conversation.

3. The way baby girl gazes at Tru like he’s the coolest kid she’s ever seen. “That’s my big brother, y’all.”

4. The first thing Tru does when he wakes up is to look for Kirsten and give her a kiss.

5. On a good day, Tru will offer his precious blankie to her for 10 seconds before he grabs it back. I’m working on the duration, but sharing the blanket is a big deal because nobody touches the blanket. Nobody.

Ok, comic time!

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kids inc

Please mama, can I have more food?

November 18, 2009

I’ve forgotten what a messy affair introducing solids to a baby is. Kirsten started her first meal of baby rice a couple of days ago at 18 weeks, 2 weeks earlier than Tru. It’s even messier because her tiny mouth is so small that most of the cereal dribbles out before it even gets in. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she’s not ready but I’ve done this before, so I’m like an expert on weaning now.

With the first kid, you’re stumbling in the dark, not sure if it’s too early to start solids, whether it will cause indigestion or hives. You panic at the slightest sniffle and rush him to the hospital. The first sign of teething sends you into overdrive because at first, you don’t know why your perfect little baby is cranky and acting like a monster.

That’s what comes from being a second-time mom. Experience. And bigger boobs. But mostly the first one. This time, you see all the signs coming from a mile off. Baby girl has been in a foul mood the past few days, refusing to nap and wanting to be carried all the time. She used to entertain herself talking to her friends (cot mobile) but it was impossible to put her down even for a minute. When Tru went through a similar phase a year ago, I was flustered and frustrated after a day but this time, I was cool. Relatively.

Slight temperature, fussiness, finger chomping, drooling, all classic signs of teething, so I put some ice cubes into a baby feeder to soothe her sore gums. Worked like a charm.

She’s also been licking her lips every time she sees us eating, so I figured it was time to bring out the baby rice. It just confirms my theory that my kids are foodies. I have friends who, if they could, would take a pill to meet their entire day’s nutritional needs. To them, eating is for sustenance. Kinda like crapping and flossing. (I’m sure there are people who derive immense pleasure from these activities, but most of us just do it cos we have to)

My kids, on the other hand, LOVE TO EAT. Kirsten took to the baby rice like a fish to water. She chomped down every last bit and started screaming when it was all gone. My 18-week-old baby. Screaming for more Healthy Times brown rice cereal. I know some folks advocate introducing solids after 6 months, but when it comes to food, my girl is way ahead of the pack. Less than a week in, she’s on half a bowl of cereal (ok, a really tiny bowl) twice a day. I think those juicy rolls on her thighs are going to explode.

Food makes me smile

Food makes me smile

Incidentally, every time I feed baby girl, Tru goes into a frenzy. Seeing his sister slurp up every bite, he seems to think plain baby rice is like manna from heaven. When he sees me taking out the bowl, he’ll point to it and go eat, eat, eat, EAT, EATTTT! Next time I want him to eat his broccoli, I’ll pretend to make Kirsten eat it first to see if it works.

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