We’ve recently had to start teaching the kids about the importance of keeping their special private areas special. You’d think that this was one of those easier lessons to teach because it’s so straightforward, like just don’t wave your penis around in public and that’s all there is to it. Not exactly rocket science.
In reality, it’s a little more complicated than that. I think this is largely due to the fact that kids have nudist tendencies. Maybe it’s the freedom not wearing clothes symbolizes or just how nice and airy it is to let everything all hang out. Mostly the second one. Especially with the kind of humid weather we have, there’s no real need to wear any clothes if modesty wasn’t an issue.
For a long time, we had to play catch-the-naked-baby game before and after every shower. Ok, who am I kidding? We still do it all the time. When it’s shower time, they will start stripping down and the moment the last article of clothing comes off, they take off and start streaking around the living room. They do it after the shower too, which makes the game even more difficult because then they’re all wet and slippery. And throughout the day, they think it’s funny to randomly strip and run around.
At this point, we’re still fine with them being naked for extended periods at home but I realize that people aren’t quite as fine with them being naked in public. One time, Kirsten got bored when we were out shopping and started to take off her clothes. Obviously, a lot of scrambling ensued.
So anyway, we’re teaching them that certain body parts can’t be exposed in public and to really drill home the message, we hold quizzes for them regularly.
Me: Kids, can you show people your backside?
Kids: No, cannot.
Me: How about your ears?
Kids: Yes, ears can.
Me: Armpits?
Kids: Yes.
Me: Penis?
Tru: Cannot show people my penis.
Me: Very good. Kirsten, same goes for your vagina – cannot show ok. How about nipples?
Kids: No.
Me: Ok, technically, Truett, yours can but Kirsten’s nipples cannot.
Tru: But Truett and mei mei’s nipples same. Same nipples.
Me: Excellent observation. Yeah, I know it’s confusing but you’re a boy and nobody wants to see your nipples. At some point, mei mei’s nipples are going to look very different and lots of people are going to want to see that so it’s better to keep the mystery intact.
Tru: People want to see mei mei’s nipples?
Kel: Um babe, you should really stop explaining. You’re making it worse.
Me: OH LOOK KIDS, FLOWERS! You guys want to pick a flower for grandma?
Well, let’s just say that I’m not looking forward to giving the sex education talk or the where-do-babies-come-from talk. That’s going to be fun.
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Thank you for this. I have to start thinking when to explain to my boy (and eventually my daughter) the concept of swimsuit privacy and stranger danger. I’m not looking forward to it, but it has to be done.
Agreed! Our philosophy is that it’s always better to prepare them early. They’re going to learn it from somewhere and I’d rather it be from us.
also ‘naked time’ for the kids is common in my house. Last night, my son was all like ‘after my bath can I run around the house and be shame shame?’
Hahaha! Hilarious!
I’ve got a streaker at home too and I just hate having to catch him after he dashes out of the bath dripping wet.
Somebody should invent like a net or a lasso to catch them during their streaking episodes. These days they’re so fast that we’re barely able to keep up.
Glad to know I’m not the only one with a bub that loves to go au naturale at home… for some reason, she loves to strip when she wants to sing or dance! and erm, perform pole-dancing???!
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Hahahahaha pole dancing? So cute!
This is so funny! I think a bigger headache will come when they hit, like, 10.
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Let’s hope that by the time they turn 10, they will be able to resist the urge to be naked in public.
Haha! This is so funny but Daphne, you should just tell both of them that they are not suppose to show their nipples to avoid confusion… Great post!
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They do see guys go topless in swimming pools and sometimes Tru does it as well – he just goes swimming in his swim shorts. So it’s going to be confusing either way.. sighhh
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA this just chased away all the monday blues.
its hilarious.
Muhahaha!! So funnie!! I can imagine the confused looks on both their faces! Maybe u can get kel to be topless at home n lil tru will get it!
Haha good point. And then he’ll ask me to go topless too and we’ll end up having to explain more stuff.
I know what you mean. As soon as Una turned 2, I’ve been teaching her about keeping her privates parts as our secret. But of course, just like your kids, she loves stripping her clothes off. Inside the house, my in-laws would tease her that they can see her vagina and she would open her legs to show them proudly. Hahaha! But I think she’s learning to have some modesty recently. We went to a pool last summer and the restrooms are crowded so we changed her clothes out in public, she went ballistic when we removed her diapers! Learned my lesson then and there.
I think it’s good that we teach our kids as early as now about their private parts. Especially now that there is still no malice in their head.
I’m looking forward to what kind of sex talk you’ll have with your kids. I think sex education is now removed in the school’s health curriculum in our country. I didn’t have “the talk” with my parents so I have no point of reference.
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So cute! Seems like the lesson is very effective. My kids don’t mind being changed in public at all!
Haha I’ll update when we do get around to the sex talk. Hopefully it won’t be that soon though
I can soooo… empathise with you cos my 3 kids are exactly like that! The twin sisters to my boy are always very curious about the Kor Kor’s penis so much so that the two of them would sometimes flank the boy – one at each side, trying to catch a glimpse of the brother peeing! Literally staring down at his privates! Hoot!
Oh man, poor boy!! :)
This is so funny! I think a bigger headache will come when they hit, like, 10This is so funny but Daphne, you should just tell both of them that they are not suppose to show their nipples to avoid confusion… Great post!.
We thought about it but they’re going to realize the distinction between guy nipples and girl nipples soon enough. Hahahah nipple confusion can now apply to this as well.
I love the way you spoke to your kids on sex education. I have started mine just a few weeks ago, but not as extensive to that area. Usually, I have both in the bathing area and give some simple dos and donts on their body parts.
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Good place to start! :)
Haha this is really funny! And awkward too! I just recently taught my boy to say ‘penis’ and not ‘kuku bird’. He’s taking it rather well, always pointing to it whenever the diapers off.
HAHAHAHAHA. This made me smile!!! :)
Hahaha something you can look forward to when you have kids.
Hi Daphne,
I have a theory (obviously I’m not alone) that ALL kids, enjoy running around and parading in the buff at some point in their toddlerhood. I thought it was because they see themselves clothed 99.99% of the time, and hence the cheeky dances in the birthday suits are too much to resist. The conversation is hilarious to read. No need to be a celeb to get your own “Seriously funny kids” show ;p
Totally agree with your theory. Which is why we’re ok with their self-expression at home but when they’re out, we need to make sure they don’t express themselves too um, freely.
Another post that just made me laugh…OMG
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the quiz bit cracked me up! kids are toooo cute!!! what makes it even harder to keep a straight face on and remember to be firm (but always kind) is the fact that they ask their questions with such seriousness. the innocence is extremely endearing!!
[…] not true baby. Remember mommy told you that you’re not allowed to show your vagina to other people? It’s because it’s special and you’re supposed to keep it secret. […]