Saying no shouldn’t have to be this hard

Before I had kids, I used to take issue with over-indulgent parents who gave in to the every whim and fancy of their precious (and usually obnoxious) offspring. What happened to the good old fashioned N-O? It’s relatively simple, a “no sweetie, you can’t have that extra fifth helping of ice-cream” or “no, shoving that helpless blind guy is wrong, pumpkin.”

I was so sure that when it came to my turn, I’d be the parent who knew how to say no. But turns out, saying no to kids is like running for elections against the PAP – very difficult.

First of all, it’s a primal parent instinct. There’s something about popping an 8-pound human out of your bits that makes you want to give them everything they ask for. Like “look kid, I’ve given up my career, my holidays, my shopping and my privacy, I might as well just throw in that shiny new swingset. You want that 300-piece dollhouse too? Bam, done. And while we’re at it, here’s every single Beyblade known to humankind.”

And then there’s the fallout that is just so fun to deal with. The pleading, the tears, the dramatic soap opera wails, and every other weapon in the arsenal every kid. Sometimes I consider saying no when they ask to have that last pack of gummy and I’ll spend a moment thinking of the impending meltdown and I totally chicken out because I am literally too exhausted to deal.

This morning, baby girl woke up and with her sleepy eyes, she asked if I could bring her for a helicopter ride. I mean, most kids ask for a toy helicopter but no, my kid wants to be up on an actual helicopter. And I know that she knows what it is because she’s been watching Pixar’s Cars where Mater gets to go on one of them fancy helicopter rides. I’ve never even gone on a helicopter myself but now that’s the latest addition to my bucket list. Bring my baby girl for a spin in a helicopter.

The way I see it, there’s nothing wrong with indulging the kids every now and then. I can’t help wanting to give my kids the best and if that comes in the form of a spanking new Playstation 3 or a helicopter ride, there’s nothing wrong with that.

But it’s important that our kids don’t grow up with an entitlement complex and we try to do it by teaching 2 things: gratefulness and patience. To be thankful for the things they do get and patient in waiting for the things they don’t.

That’s probably why we sometimes say no to them just for kicks. And when they respond with maturity, they usually get what they want sooner than later.