Apparently, I’ve earned quite a rep with Tru’s teachers in school, as I just found out today. I like to think it ups my street cred, like how you’re supposed to become badass after spending a week in prison but I suspect they’re using me as a cautionary tale for other parents during some of their parent-teacher sessions.
Rain, rain go away
Tru was learning about the weather in school this week and today was all about rain.
Teacher: Kids, what do we do when it rains?
Kid 1: Take umbrella!
Teacher: Good. Anything else?
Kid 2: Raincoat!
Teacher: That’s right, we wear our raincoats.
Tru: RUNNNNN!!!
Teacher: Run?
Tru: Run so fast! Raining, mommy carry and run!
In my defense, that’s only my strategy when it’s drizzling. With one kid in each hand, I got nothing left to carry a brolly even if I wanted to, and besides, umbrellas are for sissies and 50-year-old ladies. I tried grabbing it with my teeth once and Kirsten almost lost an eye in the fallout. When it’s pouring, I make strangers ferry us with their umbrellas by playing the frazzled-mom-with-2-babies card. It works all the time. I would also like to point out that I have flip-flops with surprisingly good traction, which is the key to not falling and breaking open your skull. You’re welcome.
Breakfast of champions
A couple of weeks ago, it was breakfast week, or food week or healthy eating week and the kids were learning about healthy options for a balanced diet. Obviously, I have no concept of proper nutrition, seeing that I survived on instant noodles, burgers and fries for almost the entire first year of my university life.
Teacher: What do you eat for breakfast?
Other kids: Cereal, bread, noodles, milk, pancakes, waffles, apple, sausage…
Teacher: Excellent, children! Those are all very good breakfast options
Tru: Eat gummies. So many gummies (complete with hand gesture)
Teacher: *uncomfortable silence* Ok, we must always eat gummies in moderation, that means not too much at once.
Tru does have a normal breakfast, right after his morning vitamin gummy (which I chop up into tiny pieces so it seems like a lot) because it’s the first thing he starts to harass me for the moment the opens his eyes. And the chopping into tiny pieces works because I have 1 piece for every time he goes “gimme more gummies” and by the time I’m all out, he feels like he’s eaten loads of gummies.
Birds and the bees
Then there was clothes week, where the kids learn about the different types of clothes you wear for different occasions. They learnt about how you should wear a uniform to school and a pretty dress to a party.
Teacher: Children, what do you wear to sleep?
Kids (in unison): PYJAMAS!
Tru: Pa…pa…pagina!
Remember how I was teaching Tru the proper words for the different parts of the human anatomy? Penis, he pronounces very well. Vagina, not so much. He calls it pagina, which gets him confused with pyjamas. And this, total badass.
12 Comments
Hahahhahahha!!!! This really cracks me up. The teacher must be so awkward and dumbfounded.
Confused on how to accept Tru’s answers nicely and explain it to the class. LOL~
@Izzy,
I probably taught him the whole anatomy thing a little too early and ahead of more important words like “gastronomy” and “photosynthesis”. Still, its a real hoot to hear your 2yo yell the names of private parts in public. I’m proud of him like that.
This really made me laugh out loud.
HAHAHAHAH! This is completely hilarious. I’m really wondering about the look on Tru’s teacher’s face at those moments. :P Definitely, Tru’s answers can give a wrong impression to the teachers, but still, it’s funneh!
@Daphne Maia,
Frankly i think they’re appalled at my parenting ‘skills’ or lack thereof, they’re just too nice to bring it up so we all just pretend the kids are raised well and have a good laugh over it.
Hahaha! I had a good laugh! Thanks for sharing this!
I wish my son’s teacher has given me this kind of feedback rather than, “he tore down the wall chart today, he disturbed his friends…”
@,
Oh, Tru did some renovation work at his playgroup. I just haven’t blogged about it because again, i’m trying not to be blatant about his misconduct as I probably can’t afford the damages.
Hahahahahahah! Hahahahahhah! Aiyah stomach pain ah! Hahahahahhah!
pwahahahaha! this is one farnie post!
jaime´s last post ..Tutu girl!
Hahaha! Well, it doth taketh a badass mom to begot a badass son! Can’t wait for your next parent-teacher conference though! :P
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hahahaha!
Tru’s mummy is soooo Coool!!!
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heeeeeelarious!
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