Browsing Tag

toys

Here’s one for all the cleaning pragmatists

October 12, 2010

A lot of moms get really stressed out over cleaning. I used to be one of them, especially when it seems like I’m spending so much time cleaning and things never stays clean for more than half a day and I get all frustrated and start yelling at everyone a lot more, which is all so unnecessary. Until I discovered a formula to determine what needs to be cleaned up immediately and what doesn’t. Now my house is in a constant state of disarray but the important thing is that I feel SO much better.

Formula:

M (How bad is the mess) x B (How much does it bother you) / H (How long it is likely to stay clean) = C (Should I clean?)

Let me illustrate with examples to make it clearer.

#1: Kid’s Room = Don’t Clean

I call this the war zone because epic battles go on in here. At any given point in the day, someone will be emptying boxes of toys into a massive heap on the floor and then someone else will observe the destruction, throw her head back in maniacal laughter, and proceed to fling toys everywhere. Because it’s so fun to watch mommy grab her head and look horrified.

I used to categorize their toys into neat little boxes. One for vehicles, one for play cooking, one for animals, one for pirates and one for weird items (broken doll limbs, that kind of thing) that don’t fit anywhere else. I had a whole complicated organizational system going on that made the Dewey Decimal System look like child’s play. But the moment it’s all neatly packed up, they would drag out all the boxes and dump them onto the floor all over again in less than a second.

With the formula, I’ve learnt to leave it the hell alone. That way, I didn’t have to spend hours packing up or nagging at them to pack up only for it to be messed up again. WIN.

#2: Dishes, Laundry, Spills = Clean

No brainer. It’s relatively easy to clean and it stays clean for a decent amount of time. I mean, only slobs leave dishes piled up in the sink for weeks and I’m no slob. Only a cleaning pragmatist. There’s a difference.

#3: Living room = Debatable

I have clearly demarcated territory in my house. The kids know that toys are meant to be played with in the room but the occasional toy encroaches into my space and I put it right back where it belongs, i.e., the war zone. Other times, I leave it until the end of the day when I do my evening clean up of the house.

Cleaning is like money – there’s never enough. Everything could always be cleaner if it bothers you enough to get off your ass and put on those scrubbing gloves. Or if you have someone to do it for you then just flog them every now and then to give them some added motivation. But if you find yourself getting all high strung over cleaning, I suggest you try the formula and spend that cleaning time having a cup of coffee.

by Daphne

lists you should paste on your fridge, stuff best described as not safe for parents

Top 5 Useless Baby Stuff

June 17, 2009

Having kids is like a license to buy all sorts of useless baby stuff. I think its a condition that hits all new mothers, and they go on a rampage to amass the most frivolous baby items. If I were a business person, all I would sell are colorful baby-related stuff that serves no real purpose whatsoever. And I’d be RICH! Seriously, just add a cute baby picture to any product and mothers are guaranteed to go all googly-eyed over it.

Before I had babies, I used to think that I was a very rational buyer. I would do intensive research online and check the reviews and head down to the store to test the product like 5 times before buying something. But it all changed when I got pregnant with Tru. I was obsessed with the kids department in all the stores. It was like an addiction. I could spend hours poring over racks of baby clothes, mittens, booties, soft toys… you name it. Everything was all so tiny and cute, I was totally hooked.

If the husband didn’t confiscate all my credit cards, I would have ended up with a truckload of oh-so-cute but oh-so-useless baby stuff. Here’s a few examples so you know what to avoid when you’re shopping for your kids.

1. Zaky Infant Pillow

zaky infant pillow

It’s a pair of brown adult-sized (by adult sized, I’m referring to a tiny giant) pillow hands complete with fingers, which you can put on your baby while he sleeps. And check out the tagline.

Zaky – It’s Like Leaving a Part of You with Your Baby

Now, how freaky is that? At first, I thought it was an interesting concept, but then again, unless your last name is Addams, you probably wouldn’t want your baby to wake up and find a pair of dismembered hands holding him. Think of all the hours of counseling you could avoid in the future if you just had the good sense to not riddle your kid with so many issues during his formative years.

2. Pee Pee Teepee

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGKFga8fJ6A

This is really good. I first came across this ingenious product while watching Brothers and Sisters, where Calista Flockhart’s character was raving about the benefits of the pee pee teepee. So this is how it works. You know how boys suddenly have the urge to pee the moment the diaper is off? I have lost count of the number of times I got hit by a projectile of pee during nappy changes. But with the PPTP, all you need to do is place the little soft cloth cone over the pee pee when the diaper is off, and what do you know? Crisis averted!

Pee Pee Teepee

But there’s just one thing though. I think the makers of the PPTP underestimated the force that can be generated from a baby’s bladder. There’s been reports that when the baby starts to pee, it causes the PPTP to fly up and hit your face, followed by the stream of lovely, warm liquid.

3. Babykeeper

Babykeeper

The babykeeper is a contraption used by mothers to inflict torture on the babies they HATE with a passion. It’s a pouch-like device with lots of hanging straps to put your baby in. You can then hang them safely from the wall or the ceiling while you go do your stuff. When I first came across this device, I was wondering could ever possess a parent to hang their child from the wall?

Then it suddenly struck me. It’s useful in so many ways. You can swing them like a pendulum just for kicks, tickle them senseless without having to pin down their arms and even use him to scare birds that fly into my kitchen. And all the while knowing that they are in safe hands. What could be better?

4. Tummy Tub

First of all, this looks like a pail I could buy from the store at the market for $2.99. You know the kind they use to put fish in. And some dude came up with the idea of putting a newborn inside , which makes it look like some bizarre Anne Geddes creation. It’s supposed to have many benefits like making the baby feel safe and secure, like he’s still inside the womb.

If you ask me, I’d say it’s a bunch of bollocks. Let’s just say that if I wanted to squeeze my kid into a tiny pail (which I don’t), I wouldn’t be paying $100 for it.

5. Bat and Wobble Penguin

Bat and Wobble Penguin

Sorry, Uncle Toh, but this makes the list of top 5 useless baby stuff. I can understand how a bat and wobble anything may possibly be fun for a 3-year-old toddler with violent tendencies. But a baby does not possess the reflexes to avoid the malicious onslaught of an evil penguin and chances are, they will be hit in the face more times than they can count. My son hates it so much he will not come near it with a 10-foot barge pole.

These days, I use it as a paper weight to hold down stuff.

I’m sure there are plenty of other useless baby stuff you can think of. Here’s just a few to get you started. Feel free to add on to the list!

by Daphne

kids inc

Revenge of the penguin

June 4, 2009

Tru got a ton of new toys for his birthday and like all kids, he had a blast ripping them all open. I think he was more interested in opening the presents than actually playing with them. We decided to ration his toys so that he’d be able to have a “new toy” every week rather than have a whole bunch of stuff he’ll spend all of 3 minutes on and then chuck away.

The first toy to make it to the play-list was this Bat and Wobble Penguin that wobbles around and bounces back after its hit. I thought it was really cute since it’s about the same size as him and they could be like best friends.

But apparently Tru HATES it. He smacked it once and it bounced right back and hit him in the face. After that, he decided that penguins are malevolent and should be avoided at all costs. It’s the second time I’ve seen him afraid of something (the first one was a duck puppet – I told you birds are evil) and it actually is hilarious. I feel totally evil for having so much fun at his expense, but I spent the better part of the afternoon terrorizing him with the nefarious penguin.

I managed to capture some of it down on vid. Have fun. Oh yah, turn up the sound will you?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfUaXhke3Jg

by Daphne

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