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sleep

motherhood

Sleep-giggles

There is a defining moment in every parent’s life where everything suddenly clicks. Like an epiphany. For the most part, being a parent does not make any sense. I’ve traded my nice, quiet evenings for scream fests, romantic dinners for mush-slinging food fights and my dancing shoes for bedroom slippers. These days, my idea of a nightcap is a shot of valium and not vodka.

Inevitably, it begs the question, “Is it all worth it?”

And just when I thought its all downhill from here, the pieces falls into place.

As usual, Tru was out cold after his late evening feed last night. It’s like clockwork. He’ll yank the bottle out of his mouth with a flourish and flip over to his side, which is his trademark “Do Not Disturb” signal. Normally, we’d put him back in his crib, but last night his dad decided to have some fun at his expense, which involved some tickling and pseudo-chopping of his limbs. I was half expecting an irritated swat, but instead he broke out into hysterical sleep-giggles.

If you haven’t seen a sleep-giggle (kinda like a step up from a sleep-smile), you don’t know what you’re missing out on. He was too tired to even open his eyes, but the grin was almost involuntary. It definitely topped my list of 10 things to experience before you die. That right there was my defining moment, and I knew I was doing something right.

So it’s a truckload of sacrifice. But I’d trade all the movies and dinners in the world for some sleep-giggles.

kids inc

10 things to know about babies

The good thing about being a mom is that I get to dish out useless information like an expert to other non-moms or moms-to-be.

Which makes me feel intellectually superior for once.

10. Nursery rhymes are best sung a hundred times. Again! Again!

9. Everything else is more fun than my toys. i.e. remote controls, laptops, phones, keys.

8. It’s fun to bang stuff that are not my toys. And eat them.

7. No means yes. Yes also means yes.

6. Whining gets me what I want.

5. If whining doesn’t work, just flash my killer smile.

4. I need to be carried. All the time.

3. The best time to cry is at 3 in the morning.

2. I have the urge to defecate when my diaper is off.

1. Sleep is for the weak.

The little guy sure knows how to work the camera

The little guy sure knows how to work the camera

motherhood

Motherhood 101

Lesson 1: Motherhood is a life-changing experience.

From the outside looking in, it didn’t seem so bad. I had diligently pored over the What to Expect series and offered my services as the occasional nanny to overly enthusiastic friends who were more than happy to pass on their little bundles of joy.

Even pregnancy had its perks. I wore the nausea like a badge of honor, and my large-ass stomach was a “get-anything-you-want-card”. No more standing in line or waiting for seats. Sometime in the fourth month, I realized that people are especially nice to pregnant women, and I milked it for all it’s worth. I even mastered a pose which worked like a charm.

Stand with a slight tilt backwards and hold your lower back with one hand. With the other hand, stroke your belly with a circular motion. Complete the look with a “God, my varicose veins are about to explode” expression and voila! Works every single time.

And I was feeling pretty good about my wealth of experience in the kid-raising department. Or so I thought.

I think it really hit me the first night Tru came home. I still felt like a pro in the hospital. For starters, he was sleeping most of the time. In fact, it was harder to wake him up than to get him to sleep. Hah, I should have seen through his sneaky little ways. When he actually did cry, I had a handy little device which summoned help in an instant.

“Nu-urse, I think the baby is hungry/tired/poopy…”

The first night back home, all I wanted to do was to stuff him back right where he came from. I wanted back my summoning powers. Nothing seemed to work, and after 3 solid hours of carrying, rocking and singing, I was about to join in the screaming.

Then all of a sudden, there it was. The sound of silence. Except for the ringing in my ears which didn’t go away for the next 3 months.

Like I said, motherhood is a life-changing experience. And when you’re in it, there’s no turning back, so every day, all that’s left to do is suck it up and keep going.