Browsing Tag

parenting

seriously somewhat serious

When life gives you lemons…

June 15, 2009

hand-in-hand

I’m convinced that parenting is one of the toughest jobs in the world, and I’m not saying this just so I can gain sympathy points for how awesome I am. In fact, I think I’ve got it pretty easy. All things considered, Tru is one of the easiest babies in the world to take care of, so I really don’t have anything to whine about. But I’ve got mad respect for parents who make it despite having life treat them unfairly.

We brought Tru to Ikea for a walk last night to add some finishing touches to the nursery before Kirsten’s arrival. While we were making the rounds checking out baby stuff, I happened to see a little girl who literally made me stop in my tracks and I almost teared standing there in the middle of Ikea. She was about  3 years old, with pigtails and the sweetest smile a girl could have. One hand was holding a stuffed toy and the other was firmly tucked in her daddy’s arm. Then I noticed that that arm ended slightly above the wrist, and she had no fingers on that hand.

It didn’t stop her from smiling and skipping around. If you didn’t pay attention, you probably wouldn’t even notice the arm. Just standing there looking at her, I felt like holding her in my arms and crying. I looked at Tru and it seemed so terribly unfair. Kids don’t deserve to be born handicapped and parents don’t deserve to have their hearts broken every day of their lives at the injustice of it all.

Honestly, I don’t know if I have the capacity to handle it if one of my kids were born with some form of imperfection. It’s the parent’s job to shower them with extra love and care to make up for it, but I’m not sure if I have that much love to give in the first place. I’d probably cry everyday.

I look at parents who’s kid has Down’s or a hole in their heart or paraplegic and they seem to have a special capacity to love more than the average person. With the medical advancements available to us, doctors can detect signs of abnormality within the first trimester and it’s so much easier to opt for the easy way out, to terminate the pregnancy and try again. But some parents choose to take the road less travelled, to have the child and love him despite of how tough it’s going to be.

For some, it’s a lifetime of heartache, sacrifice and worry. Weird stares, whispers, taunts and tough questions become a daily staple. And yet they find it within them to smile and keep on going.

If you’re a mother who has such an experience or know of someone like that, I’d love to hear your story and read about your journey. You can post your comments here with your web address here if you have one or just email me at my Contact Me page.

by
kids inc

Parenting for dummies – the worser guide

May 12, 2009

Parenting

Parenting these days is not like it used to be. In most ways. our parents had it easy. There were clear-cut rules and it was pretty standard, like “Do your homework or I’ll whip your ass” and we all grew up alright. These days, there are all kinds of newfangled parenting theories that make it impossible for mothers to do anything right.

From the time the kids are born, we’re supposed to choose between co-sleeping and letting them cry it out in their cot. Some experts say swaddle the baby, some say rock the baby, and others advocate attaching them to your body and carrying them around 24/7. Mothers are supposed to navigate their way through all the different do’s and don’ts gathered from all kinds of “authoritative sources”.

And then there’s the pressure of keeping up with the latest trends so our kids have a relatively easy time assimilating into the popular group in school. I was teaching Tru how to speak and it dawned upon me that even the English we speak has evolved so much that it’s hardly the same language we learnt when we were growing up. My mom used to make us speak “the Queen’s English”, to watch the grammar and pronunciation. Now, I listen to kids speak and it really sounds like a bunch of broken up mumbo-jumbo. Apparently broken English is the new Queen’s English.

Here’s a few examples.

1. Wanna come with?

It’s not a complete question. I feel constipated, like I’m waiting for an elusive last word. It’s supposed to be WANNA COME WITH ME, you nitwits. As made popular by shows like One Tree Hill and The O.C, kids are now speaking in incomplete sentences. So to ease my pain, I make it like a game where I get to guess the missing words. “It’s really loads fun play, especially with.”

2. What up?

Barney Stinson from HIMYM even has a range of hand gestures to illustrate this ridiculous phrase. Where’s the S, dude? It’s the reverse of what I call the Asian S Syndrome. Asians have a strange habit of misplacing their S’s and it’s really disconcerting. They will add scatter random S’s to words that do not exist in the plural form so it sounds like they have some kind of lisp. “Generallys, we wants to make sure that the meetings is successful.”

Now, I’m all for keeping up with the latest trends, but I’m somewhat iffy at intentionally teaching my kids bad grammar. They don’t need to speak like the Queen, but I draw the line at worser English. Perhaps the rules of the language would have changed in 15 years time, but I think for now, I’ll make sure they cross their T’s and dot their I’s. And from time to time, I’ll just throw in a random whipping so they’ll do their homework.

by
Funny or So I think, lists you should paste on your fridge, unqualified parenting tips

Taken – The Ultimate Parenting Guide

April 29, 2009

Had a hot date with the husband to watch Taken a few days back and I must say, it was surprisingly good. Taken is your typical, no nonsense, action movie where Liam Neeson went around beating the living daylights out of everything that moves. The intro was a little slow, but once the fun started, the action sequences were tight and somewhat realistic, so all in all, it was thoroughly enjoyable. (I have a weakness for these swashbuckling, one-man-show CIA super agents)

Thanks to Luc Besson, Neeson’s character is like James Bond, Jason Bourne and Jack Bauer all rolled into one incredible fighting machine. I particularly loved the sequence where he stabbed 2 metal sticks into the Albanian mafia dude’s thigh (who abducted his daughter) and proceeded to electrocute him senseless.

But underneath the carnage and destruction, the movie actually has many important messages that parents should drill into their kids. It’s like the ultimate parenting guide (or propaganda). When Kirsten turns 16, I’m gonna make her watch this with my own running commentary in the background.

Lesson 1: Going on a road trip across Europe with friends will result in abduction.

I’m pretty sure at some point she’s going to want to travel with her friends to whatever is the next big travel destination in 2018. I’m going to instill a rule where there will be no traveling alone until she turns 24 or gets married (which should not happen before she’s 24 anyway).

It’s a catch 22. If she goes with a bunch of girlfriends, there’s no way any of them will be able to put up a fight in the face of imminent abduction. (Don’t believe the Alias female Kungfu fighter nonsense) A bunch of adolescent girls on a holiday is like spreading honey on your chest. You can’t be surprised if a swarm of killer bees sting the crap out of you.

But if she goes on a trip with some adolescent male friends (we all know what teenage guys have on their minds 24/7), I can bet my life that there will be some hanky panky going on when she’s halfway around the world. Not an appealing prospect as far as I’m concerned.

Lesson 2: Don’t talk to strangers, especially if they are handsome and French.

Handsome guys are usually up to no good, so avoid them like the plague. If you must talk to boys, choose those ugly-ass ones with pock-marks, buck-teeth and giant, geeky specs. Better still if they are with their mothers and speak only Mandarin.

Lesson 3: Don’t make the sexytime unless you want to get sold off to prostitution and die.

I couldn’t help but notice that the two girls ended up with very different fates. Amanda, the promiscuous one, ended up DEAD after OD-ing on drugs. Kim, on the other hand, who showed some restraint in having her cherry popped too early, was rescued by her super spy of a father who went on a rampage across the whole of France.

amanda-kim2

Kim was saved thanks to the fact that she was certified 100% pure (exact words from the movie), so if you’re reading this eventually, Kirsten, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE THE SEXYTIME until you get married. Your father will hunt down the unfortunate chap who is responsible for the deed and after he’s done, the poor fella will wish he was the Albanian dude who got electrocuted.

by