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parenting

not feeling so supermom

Return of the Sleep Tyrants

September 26, 2011

Right from the time the kids were born, we were certain co-sleeping wasn’t going to work for us. From a very practical perspective, there just wasn’t enough space and while the idea of sleeping with a baby seems so irresistibly sweet, the actual doing is considerably more uncomfortable.

The sweetness lasts for 3 minutes and after that, they turn into little sleep tyrants. They do windmills on the bed, monopolise every inch of space and before I know it, I’m squeezing myself into a 50cm strip of space on my bed.

Occasionally, their diaper leaks and I find myself waking up in a puddle of pee. That’s not my own. Not that I wake up in my own pee regularly (or at all) but it’s so much worse waking up in someone else’s pee. If I had to wake up in a puddle of pee, I’d choose my own any day. Just like if I ever got stung by a jellyfish, I’d much rather pee on myself than have someone else do it.

So from the beginning, we were diligent in getting them to sleep on their own beds. We did up a gorgeous nursery, bought them supercool toddler beds, gave them cold turkey and taught them to sleep on their own, feeling mighty proud of ourselves.

But…and you know there’s a but because there’s ALWAYS a but. The ‘but’ sometimes comes in the form of a dark stormy night when the kids wake up crying with nightmares. Or a persistent virus that requires through-the-night supervision. Or just a moment of weakness coupled with puppy dog eyes.

And when the ‘but’ happens, everything goes belly up very quickly.

Which explains why the nursery has been unused for several months now. The latest sleeping arrangement involves 2 mattresses laid out in our room every night and you’d think it’s for the kids to sleep but more often than not, we find ourselves on the mattresses while the kids usurp our bed.

We’ve been wanting to restart the sleep training but the though of having to sit in their room for hours through the night terrifies me. On good days, I get to crawl into bed at midnight and an hour in, I have to stumble my way into the nursery because one of them is awake and asking to sleep in our room. So let’s see, option 1 is to sit there with them till they fall asleep or option 2, cave and let them come over so we can all get some decent sleep.

Right now, we’re even contemplating turning the nursery into our secret back up sleeping room but they’re probably going to invade that too.

Seriously, how do you guys do it?

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kids in motion

Exclusive: Manchester United signs Arsenal superstar

February 11, 2011

We interrupt normal programming to bring you some breaking news.

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Turns out that Fernando Torres’ shocking move to Chelsea from Liverpool is not the biggest transfer news this January window. While angry Liverpool fans are still burning Torres jerseys at Anfield and sticking needles in little floppy-haired effigies, the attention has turned to even more shocking news.

Arsenal prodigy Truett Kao who just signed a 5-year contract with the Gunners last summer has made a move to Premier League rivals Manchester United. His mother was evidently thrilled, citing the move as a “big step up in his career”. “He’s moving from 2nd to 1st place in the Premier League, I’d call that an upgrade anytime,” she said.

He also added a new middle name after his favorite player, so he will now be called Truett Rooney Kao. His father, a diehard Arsenal fan, says it’s a ridiculous name, preferring Van Persie but even he admits that Truett Van Persie Kao Kai Xuan sounds exactly like the kind of kid everyone wants to beat up. Nobody has 6 names, aight?

Seeing that he’s cup-tied for the Champions League, he’ll be sitting out the match against Marseille but he’s expected to start against bitter rivals Manchester City this weekend. Which is why he is spending his time doing drills and improving his already fancy footwork with his new Red Devils ball.

United boss Sir Alex Ferguson expects his latest signing to add a new attacking threat to his team of superstars. “He’s got a superb scoring ability, he’s fast and makes excellent passes. He’s been on our radar for the last few months and we’re pleased to have him.”

Meanwhile, at the Arsenal camp, Arsene Wenger has taken 0.01% of his profits from selling the player to sign new youngster Kirsten Kao (who happens to be Truett’s sibling, no less) for a price of only $2,000. “Ve are very happy to have zis new player and she holds ze record for being ze youngest ever Arsenal player. For now, she needs to lose some weight and work on her fitness. Hopefully, she can do well but if not, ve can sell her for maybe $50,000 and it vill be a good profit for Arsenal.”

According to insiders, even though the 2 siblings are now playing for different teams, they still maintain a very close relationship, often training together in their hometown of Singapore.

They have a common understanding that on the pitch, family alliances will have to take a backseat as they try to challenge for silverware but off the pitch, it is amazing that these 2 remain the tightest of friends.

PS I’ve just added a portfolio page with some recent work. That’s the work I do in between diaper changes and baby snuggles, right after I cook, clean and chauffeur.

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kids inc

Monkey see, monkey do

August 3, 2009

Tru’s at that age where he’s starting to pick up things faster than I can blink. And I don’t mean with his hands. He’s observing me and replicating everything that I do. It’s terribly cute but also scary as hell because I’ll be solely responsible for the way he turns out. Like if he picks his nose in public or gives some random kid a sucker punch in the nose, it’ll be all my fault (except that I NEVER pick my nose and I’m the most peacable soul around – I can’t even hurt an ant)  Now I understand why parents are the first to get blamed when kids misbehave.

It all started out pretty harmless. When I’m doing the laundry or folding the clothes, he’ll come over and try to do the same thing, except make a bigger mess, but I’m guessing he was trying to help. Or when I’m fluffing the pillows and making the bed, I’ll see him trying to imitate me. But I didn’t give that much thought either. Until this morning.

So usually the mornings are madness these days. It’s mayhem from the time we get out of bed trying to get the kids changed and fed while the husband gets ready for work. Inevitably, there’ll be some crying because I do not have enough hands to attend to the small one when I’m changing the big one and vice versa. Sometimes, when I’m washing up, both kids will be up to some mischief. So anyway, I was brushing my teeth this morning when Kirsten woke up and started screaming for milk. Next thing I know, Tru goes up to her, points his index finger at her and says “Nonononono”.

Just a little bit of background, that’s my classic move when I’m telling Tru he can’t do something like drown himself in the pond or jump off the table Superman style. I’ll do the finger wagging and say “No no”. Apparently, he’s picked it up and doing it to his sister.

The implications are huge though. Now I have to think twice about raining curses on the next imbecile driver who almost gets me killed or when I stub my little toe on the curb. In fact, I’ll have to be on my best behavior ALL THE TIME from now on. I’ll have to eat all my spinach and peas, say please and thank you and not leave all my stuff strewn around the house. When I indulge in a tub of ice-cream, I’ll have to do it late at night or hiding in the kitchen like a fugitive. See, I’d rather not be explaining why he can’t have a tub himself.

They say having kids make all your flaws glaringly obvious. I say that’s an understatement. Having kids is like taking a loudhailer and blasting out all my imperfections at the top of my lungs while driving around the neighborhood. And then having it appear on the 6 o’clock news. Only this time, my kids are going to do it for me.

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