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kids inc

Strike 3, you’re out!

May 26, 2009

Tru had a bad case of the runs all of yesterday. Two packs of poop a day is standard fare for him (a huge one after his morning milk feed and a mid-sized one during, yes DURING his lunch) considering how much food and non-food items go into his system.

But yesterday, he gave mama 4 packs of funky poop to spice up my otherwise boring Monday.

I put him down for his afternoon nap after getting him all fed and bathed (2 packs of poop – check) and as usual, he was performing his daily battle cry in his cot for a good 20 minutes. I didn’t think much of it, having drowned out his shrieks as ambient sound, but this time, the shrieks got increasingly loud until until it started sounding like a siren.

When I went in to check on him, I honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or bawl. The little guy got his thighs stuck between the poles of his wooden cot and his legs were sticking out, flailing wildly. (note: he’s been eating TOO MUCH FOOD!) And thanks to his incessant wriggling, his diaper had gotten loose so the crap was smeared all over his mattress and there he was, looking all helpless sitting in a pile of poop.

It probably sounds hilarious now, but right there, I felt like I had utterly failed as a mother. I would have taken a photo, but it would break your heart, and I might get hauled off to prison for child abuse.

So I cleaned him up and hugged him real tight and apologized like a million times. I felt so bad that his poor thighs were all red and sore, but he started giggling and held my face, which made me feel even worse cos he was such a sweetie-pie for consoling me after I left him stranded.

Strike 1 for mommy.

Then in the evening, I was at the library tutoring my student so Superdad had to take over the night duties. 10 minutes in, I got a call saying that Tru was SCREAMING uncontrollably, and he refused to drink his milk (IMPOSSIBLE) and could not be pacified at all. Apparently Superdad lost some of his powers and also his sanity, and my two boys were in a frenzy of panic together.

Great, a mother’s worst nightmare.

I wrapped up my tutoring session and flew back as fast as I could, beating 3 red lights on the way back (I’m a totally safe and law-abiding driver, serious).

Anyway, back home, Tru was alternating between kneeling down and squatting on the bed wailing so Superdad had a stroke of genius. It’s probably his ass that hurt. When he opened up his diaper, the poor boy’s bum was all red and swollen like a baboon’s bottom. Actually it was covered with brownish-green poop, so he couldn’t really tell at first, but my little trooper who has a bum of steel was screaming for dear life, so it was pretty obvious he was in real pain.

A quick wash, a generous dollop of diaper cream and a lot of hugging later, he finally fell asleep.

Strike 2 for mommy.

All in all, not the best of days.

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kids inc

Labor Day

April 14, 2009

Was out with a couple of couply-parent friends over the long easter weekend and it has made me realize how life has changed with kids in the picture. I was hoping to challenge the cliche that life as we know it is over when kids arrive, and once in a while, it seems like there’s a glimmer of hope, but then it vanishes faster than a mirage in the Nevada desert.

It was the first time we’ve had an outing in months, and the original plan was to chill out at a decent cafe for a shot of coffee and some tiramisu like we used to back in the day. But now, instead of six young, hot singles, we were a party of six not-so-young, somewhat-frazzled parents with four (and a half) kids, three strollers, 2 diaper bags and a baby seat.

After standing in queue for 15 minutes, we thought we could squeeze into a 6-seater table tucked away at the back, but upon closer inspection, we decided there was no way we could have lasted five minutes in that cramped little space without being thrown out on our asses. So we decided to relocate (I’m sure I heard a sigh of relief from the nice lady at the cafe) to surprise, surprise, the Golden Arches.

Mackers was right down our alley, and we settled down comfortably, this time at a table actually meant for 10. The kids were certainly thrilled at the prospect of having french fries and chicken nuggets instead, and the distant call of Tiramisu was swiftly drowned out by the sound of screaming kids.
Straw-eating competition

Life is certainly different these days. But it’s not all bad. We used to pay $50 for an outing at a cafe, but at McDonalds, we even got paid for eating our fries and nuggets.

The kids got right to work cleaning the walls while we ate. I mean, they’ve got to learn to work for their supper in dire times like these. Besides, Chinese children are known for child labor. It’s our heritage, you see. We’ll send them to Nike by the time they turn 3.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98B-T955iE8

Ok, pardon the appalling quality of the vid, but to make up for it a little, there’s a running commentary from Superdad.

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motherhood

Sleep-giggles

February 23, 2009

There is a defining moment in every parent’s life where everything suddenly clicks. Like an epiphany. For the most part, being a parent does not make any sense. I’ve traded my nice, quiet evenings for scream fests, romantic dinners for mush-slinging food fights and my dancing shoes for bedroom slippers. These days, my idea of a nightcap is a shot of valium and not vodka.

Inevitably, it begs the question, “Is it all worth it?”

And just when I thought its all downhill from here, the pieces falls into place.

As usual, Tru was out cold after his late evening feed last night. It’s like clockwork. He’ll yank the bottle out of his mouth with a flourish and flip over to his side, which is his trademark “Do Not Disturb” signal. Normally, we’d put him back in his crib, but last night his dad decided to have some fun at his expense, which involved some tickling and pseudo-chopping of his limbs. I was half expecting an irritated swat, but instead he broke out into hysterical sleep-giggles.

If you haven’t seen a sleep-giggle (kinda like a step up from a sleep-smile), you don’t know what you’re missing out on. He was too tired to even open his eyes, but the grin was almost involuntary. It definitely topped my list of 10 things to experience before you die. That right there was my defining moment, and I knew I was doing something right.

So it’s a truckload of sacrifice. But I’d trade all the movies and dinners in the world for some sleep-giggles.

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