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marriage

love bites

Love Actually

March 18, 2009

I’m celebrating my 2nd wedding anniversary today.

When I first got married, plenty of well-meaning folks (the kind you’d like to stab in the eye with a fork) told me that the honeymoon period lasts for 2 years and then its mostly just getting through each day without wanting to stab each other’s eye with a fork. And they back it up with all kinds of impressive statistics to sound like they’re some kind of authority on the subject.

Oh, and guess what the 2nd anniversary is called. We all know that 50th is Gold, and 60th is Diamond (I like!), but few would know that the 2nd is COTTON. Wow, way to go, I can’t think of a more worthless material. It’s what I use to wipe my kid’s arse. Whoever came up with the names obviously didn’t think much of the 2nd anniversary.

Here’s the thing. When you’re googly-eyed newlyweds, you gaze into each other’s eyes and whisper saccharine sweet nothings all day. And you pooh-pooh the idea that your marriage will be one of the casualties.

But as we neared the big 2-year mark, I realized it’s about the time it takes for the gazing and whispering to get old. There’s only so much mush you can concoct and romance is almost like a reflex action sometimes.

Which got me thinking.

Given that the odds are against us, how do some marriages stay together while others fall apart? Is it really just the luck of the draw or is there something we’re missing here?

And after many days of mulling, I still didn’t have the slightest clue. I was determined to come up with a grand plan to bring back the fireworks. to spice up the marriage and spread some good juju around. You know, to ward off the malevolent eye-stabbing powers. But let me just state that fireworks are a real pain to set off and clean up. And even that starts to wane after a while.

Then one evening as we were going about our usual activities, surfing the net and engaging in one of our usual banal conversations, it occurred to me that this is exactly what makes us tick.

That we can talk for hours about the most insipid topics and enjoy the conversation.

That we can sit in silence and still enjoy the conversation.

That after Manchester United kicks Arsenal’s 4th-place bottom, we can still have a civil chat.

That after I’ve gained 50 pounds, he still looks at me like I’m smokin’ hot.

That when I wake up in the morning, I know that he’s my best friend in the whole, wide world.

So, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.

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motherhood

Motherhood 101

February 12, 2009

Lesson 1: Motherhood is a life-changing experience.

From the outside looking in, it didn’t seem so bad. I had diligently pored over the What to Expect series and offered my services as the occasional nanny to overly enthusiastic friends who were more than happy to pass on their little bundles of joy.

Even pregnancy had its perks. I wore the nausea like a badge of honor, and my large-ass stomach was a “get-anything-you-want-card”. No more standing in line or waiting for seats. Sometime in the fourth month, I realized that people are especially nice to pregnant women, and I milked it for all it’s worth. I even mastered a pose which worked like a charm.

Stand with a slight tilt backwards and hold your lower back with one hand. With the other hand, stroke your belly with a circular motion. Complete the look with a “God, my varicose veins are about to explode” expression and voila! Works every single time.

And I was feeling pretty good about my wealth of experience in the kid-raising department. Or so I thought.

I think it really hit me the first night Tru came home. I still felt like a pro in the hospital. For starters, he was sleeping most of the time. In fact, it was harder to wake him up than to get him to sleep. Hah, I should have seen through his sneaky little ways. When he actually did cry, I had a handy little device which summoned help in an instant.

“Nu-urse, I think the baby is hungry/tired/poopy…”

The first night back home, all I wanted to do was to stuff him back right where he came from. I wanted back my summoning powers. Nothing seemed to work, and after 3 solid hours of carrying, rocking and singing, I was about to join in the screaming.

Then all of a sudden, there it was. The sound of silence. Except for the ringing in my ears which didn’t go away for the next 3 months.

Like I said, motherhood is a life-changing experience. And when you’re in it, there’s no turning back, so every day, all that’s left to do is suck it up and keep going.

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