Browsing Tag

kirsten

kids inc

One is the loneliest number

July 23, 2009
siblings

siblings

I’m really glad that my 2 kids are taking well to each other. At first, I was a little concerned about sibling rivalry and whether Tru would get jealous of the new baby that is taking away all of Mommy’s time and attention. The first time he came to visit me in the hospital, he refused to look at Kirsten or go near her. Then we decided to get him a present saying that it was from his baby sister, and everything changed.

Over the past week, he’s been unbelievably sweet to her and just looking at them both makes me feel like it’s worth it, that I made the right choice having them so close together.

Being a single child and having all the attention is overrated. I have a brother who is 13 months older than me and growing up, we had a blast doing all sorts of crazy stuff together. It’s the next best thing to having a twin. I mean, it’s no fun playing alone and there’s nobody to cover your ass when you’re sneaking out to watch a movie instead of doing a school project. Of course there were many occasions where we were clawing each other’s eyes out, but I always knew that at the end of the day, he totally had my back.

Naturally, I’m hoping that the two kids will grow up being best friends. I don’t even mind if they conspire to conjure mischief. My superior Mommy brain will see it coming from a mile off anyway. I reckon my parents knew all our little tricks back then, but they indulged us once in a while.

I have a feeling Tru will be an awesome big brother. These days, the first thing he wants to do when he wakes up is to go and kiss Kirsten (and also poke her eyes and mouth – but I’m taking it as a sign of affection). It’s really sweet and on her part, Kirsten doesn’t seem to mind the occasional poke or smack to the face.

Just the other day, baby girl was crying for milk in the morning, and Tru was beside her drinking his milk. After like 10 seconds of her crying, he put down his bottle and started shouting at her, but not in a vicious way. Like “aahhh, aaahhh, aaahhhh”. I suspect he was trying to tell her that it’s ok, but he figured she probably couldn’t hear him with all the screaming so he decided to shout too. It was actually hilarious.

I think it’s going to be so fun with the two of them around.

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kids inc

Sleep is for the weak

July 21, 2009

Sleep is for the weak

I forgot how fun it is to take care of a newborn. I’ve gotten so used to Tru that I’ve taken it for granted that he sleeps peacefully through the night in his own room, feeds without fussing and does all kinds of cute stuff to cheer me up.

Is it bad that every moment of every day, I wish Kirsten will grow up sooner? It’s just been a week into her birth and I’m exhibiting all the signs of a sleep-deprived wreck.

My days and nights have been broken into 2.5 hour cycles of struggling to breastfeed (45 mins), bottle-feeding (30 mins), expressing milk (30 mins) and 45 mins to do whatever else need to be done at home. And there’s the insomnia. I’d try to lie down to catch forty winks intermittently through the day, but it usually takes me a good 30 mins to fall asleep. Then before I know it, Kirsten is screaming again.

When I’m awake, I hardly have the time or energy to spend quality moments with Tru and I feel awful about that too. He’s been a real trooper, entertaining himself and being real cooperative. Sometimes he would take a toy to me, indicating that he wants to play while I’m feeding Kirsten, and I’d be all frazzled like “Later, Tru, Mommy’s busy right now”. And right after, I would feel so bad that I’ll spend the next 15 mins bawling my eyes out. Even though he’s right there, I really miss my boy. I hope he doesn’t feel like I’m neglecting him.

Just last night, I slept a total of 90 mins because Kirsten was having a blast pooping on me and fussing and refusing to latch on again. Every feed its like a game of roulette, I have no idea if she’s going to latch on or suckle for 30 seconds before screaming or just start wailing the moment she touches my breast.

Now that the milk is in, I have no idea what else to do to make her feed direct from the breast. I’ll probably give myself till next Mon to keep trying. Its just too insane having to take so any extra steps expressing and formula-feeding and having to force her to latch on.

The depression is also causing me to lose all appetite, which is probably a good thing in the weigh-loss department. But I’ve gotta eat if I want to breastfeed, so I’m forcing down food even though I feel like throwing up half the time.

I need to sleep, but the end is nowhere in sight. I’m starting to hallucinate and become incoherent. Sometimes I wonder if I’m crazy to have 2 kids back to back. It seemed like such a good idea back then, and I was so sure I’d be able to handle it. But I’m up to my eyeballs as it is, and sooner or later, something’s gotta give. I just hope its not my sanity.

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motherhood

Got Milk!

July 20, 2009

milk

In a series of unrelated events over the past few days, my breastfeeding attempts have taken a whole new turn.

1. THERE IS MILK!

With Kirsten in the hospital for phototherapy treatment for 3 days, I’ve been faithfully drinking the nasty papaya fish soup which smells like a shoal of rotten fish that’s left to decay for a month. At first, everyone thought it was an exaggeration, until I offered $5 to the husband to try it. Suffice to say, the puke-inducing look totally made my day.

I’ve slso been expressing milk every 3 hours (even at night, which is a huge sacrifice). Yesterday, the milk finally decided to come in and even though I’ve only got 5 ml after 30 mins, it was enough reason for me to do a victory dance.

2. Kirsten has become a milk drinking machine.

I don’t know what it is about my kids and food, but they can sure eat a lot. I’ve come to terms with the fact that Tru is insatiable, but I wasn’t prepared that my baby girl would be one cute little  eating machine that would beat him hands down.

During the 3 days she was in the hospital, she’s been consuming 100 ml every 3 hours. When Tru was her age, he could barely finish 40 ml. Scary, I know.

3. The first successful latch on

After many tries and a lot of crying, I finally managed to get Kirsten to latch on. I lasted about 15 minutes per side before she got really agitated. Couldn’t really blame her since I’m producing less than 10% of her feeding requirements.

So right now the plan is to feed her directly from the breast for as long as I can and then supplement with formula. At this point, she still needs another 80 ml of formula to fill her little tummy. Hopefully at some point, I’ll be able to completely eliminate the bottle.

One step at a time.

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