Browsing Tag

husband

love bites

The sexiest man alive

July 22, 2009

The husband is the sexiest man alive because he came home with bubble tea yesterday. I know I’m supposed to be confined and drinking cold stuff is an absolute no-no. And cold stuff with caffeine, that’s like the cardinal sin for a confined mother.

So when the husband stepped in the house bearing the bubble tea, it was like I was back in school again, and he was this badass with the wind in his hair, wearing his trademark aviator shades and leather jacket.

*cue music from Top Gun*

The very reason why I fell in love with him seven years ago.

sexiest-man

Well, actually, it was mostly because he MADE me a precious moments card with glitter glue and tiny hearts this one time when I flunked an exam. I know. Precious moments is for pretty girls with braids dancing around the campfire. But somehow, a grown man who loves precious moments, it’s unbelievably hot.

Given my recent bout of the blues, the person who’s gotten it worst is the husband. He’s been at the receiving end of my rants, outbursts and tantrums and so far, he hasn’t even flinched. One moment I’d be on a war path and then I’d just break down crying the next. Honestly, I wouldn’t even have put up with myself.

The only thing keeping me sane these days is knowing that I’ll get to see him at 7pm everyday, and knowing that I’ve made it through another day. I didn’t think I was the clingy type, but what can I say, motherhood brings out the worst in us. I’ve become all needy and having him around is what keeps me going.

And bubble tea, of course.

by Daphne

love bites

What men really want

May 28, 2009

The husband sent me this pic with a giant header that says “This has to appear in your blog”, so I’ve decided to be all nice and obliging since Superdad has been saving my ass the whole of this week. And who doesn’t just LOVE a life-sized remote control with all the buttons for dudes to control women.

I’m all done with my bra-burning days, so hello, Stepford Mom.

I love that all the needs of a man can be filtered down to 3 simple words – sex, food and beer (in that order). All the others are inconsequential.

Take work for example. The whole point of working is to earn a bunch of dough so that they can buy food and beer and a fancypants sports car, which will lead to some smoking hot sex in the sports car. Or outside the sports car so the fancy upholstery wouldn’t be all ruined which would mean the end of all future prospective hot sex, cos the only sex they’ll be getting with a crummy, beat-up junk is from a toothless transvestite who just had a hair transplant.

And married men (especially fathers) need the remote more than their bachelor friends, since their only hope of having any food or hot sex (forget the beer) is if they cleaned up the house, fed the kids, bought some diamonds, gave me a bubble bath and a nice massage, by which time I’d be sleeping like a baby, except on good days where I’m not pregnant, or having PMS or feeling too fat.

I say it’s tough to be a dude. Problem is, most guys who don’t get the sex end up eating more food and guzzling down more beer to try to fill that giant void in their lives. But then they (i’m still referring to men here) end up looking like they’re 7 months pregnant and that also eliminates all hope they have for getting any sex in the foreseeable future. Vicious cycle.

Men are, in fact, the weaker sex. Hey, read the news.

So take it from a chick. It’s far easier to do the housework and run the bubble bath. At least there’s a chance (however slim) it might just be your lucky day.

by Daphne

milestones & musings

Of new days and new beginnings

May 10, 2009

I’m loving the new domain here at motherinc.org. Don’t you think the site looks just fab? There’s lots of cool new stuff to brighten up your day like the baby blues strip and lovely new categories. Plus it’s all pink and girly and happy, which makes the whole concept of motherhood seem deceptively appealing.

The idea came about two weeks ago during a conversation with the husband.

Husband: What do you think of moving to a new domain and have your own website?

Me: That would be really cool. Except that you’re forgetting a very important fact. I’m a tech idiot and I generally can’t tell the difference between a Monet and a $5 painting you get from the flea market. My idea of a nice design includes as many colors as possible and several stick figures.

Silence.

But two weeks of sleepless nights and a bunch of gaudy designs later, I got my perfect Mother’s Day gift. Some girls like make-up and heels, but I’d rather have a website any day (and some bling, of course). What can I say, I’m a low-maintenance kinda girl, you know.

Seriously, when I saw the finished product, I was so impressed that I actually squealed with joy. Ok, so I don’t squeal, not unless a cockroach runs up my thigh in the shower (which really happened just recently and I stunned myself at the super speed at which I moved my pregnant ass out of the bathroom squealing like a 5-year-old girl), but you get what I mean.

So, here’s major props to the husband for the cool new site. For his contribution to Mother, Inc, he’s been promoted from being a regular slave to a sex slave, complete with special privileges.

by Daphne