Browsing Tag

holiday

i embarrass myself sometimes

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Before I gave birth, I used to laugh at parents who developed severe separation anxiety disorders. A friend of mine had originally booked a holiday without the kid, but then decided it was too painful to jet set off to see the world without her little precious for five days. She started bawling her eyes out at the airport, and came right back after spending a grand total of 24 hours in the Maldives.

Naturally, I had a ton of witticisms about that particular incident. In fact, my mom can attest to the fact that I declared I’d take a 3-week holiday to California without Tru within a year of his birth. Apparently, I said “I’m too cool to be that clingy and needy.” (it’s all a little fuzzy in my mind right now)

Obviously, I spoke too soon, and I’ve got a funny feeling I’d have to eat my words at some point.

So during my prolonged battle with the flu, my mom offered to watch Tru for 2 nights so I can take a break and get some rest. It seemed like a brilliant idea. My mind told me to shut up, thank my lucky stars and celebrate 48 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

But as soon as I stepped out of the house, I started experiencing a whole host of unexpected symptoms, including but not limited to nausea, breathlessness, headaches, dizzy spells, heart palpitations, profuse sweating and blurred vision. I also had this horrible, homesick, sinking feeling in my gut, reminiscent of the days when I was away at school camp without my mommy and my teddy.

I stood outside my mom’s house for several minutes, torn between sleep and my miracle drug. I couldn’t believe I was turning into one of those disgustingly needy mothers. I was hoping Tru would kick up a big fuss so I’d have an excuse to bring him home, but he seemed perfectly happy to spend the night at Grandma’s.

Well, it was way too embarrassing to turn back so all I could do was suck it up, wipe the snot from my nose and stop being a wuss. But I have to admit, I was bawling all the way back home.

Laugh all you want, but there’s no way I’m going for a holiday without the kids.

lists you should paste on your fridge, motherhood, side effects of motherhood

How you know you’re a parent

Before you have babies, you mistakenly assume that they will fit nicely into your perfect, little lives. WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES.

1. Preparing to leave the house takes 3 hours

2. Shoving food down your throat takes 3 minutes

3. Shopping consists of wheeling a screaming kid around the mall at breakneck speed

4. Holidays are a thing of the past

5. Friends stop calling you out for parties past 7 pm, provided you even have friends

6. Everything has to be repeated 1,245 times

7. Movies are screened in your living room with the volume at negative 25

8. One look at the poop and you can tell what they had for dinner

9. Hypersonic screams are part of the ambient sounds

10. You no longer have a life