Browsing Tag

fat

kids inc, pregnancy

I think my mommy swallowed a whale

Pregnant or fat

I think my son is struggling with the concept of my second pregnancy. For a 12-month-old, he’s already way ahead of the pack in terms of intelligence, but this is something he’s still trying to wrap his head around. Ever since I found out that Kirsten was on the way, I’ve been indoctrinating him in hope that he’ll be prepared for her arrival.

The first few months, I’d point to my belly and tell him that baby Kirsten was inside, and he would giggle and beat my belly like a drum as if it was some sort of game. I think it was because I looked pretty much the same, so he was blissfully unaware that in a couple of months, he’ll have to share his mommy with another sibling. Or perhaps he was really smart and the violence was premeditated.

But recently, with my stomach growing to the size of Texas, he’s starting to understand that there’s something fishy going on in there. These days, I’d ask him “Where’s baby Kirsten?” and he would nestle his head on my belly, which is the sweetest, most heartwarming thing in the world.

The first time he did it, I almost started bawling at how incredibly picture perfect it was. That definitely made it to the list of “Most Awesome Mommy Moments Ever”.

I’m hoping that he actually knows that there’s a baby inside. Then again, he could be thinking that there are a million chocolate chip cookies inside, which could also explain why he’s hugging my belly so lovingly.

I wouldn’t be surprised either way.

pregnancy

I do not have small boobs

Yesterday was not a good day for my self-esteem. Now that I’m pushing 36 weeks and weigh about the same as a baby elephant, I’m feeling a tad touchy about my weight, if you know what I mean. Call me oversensitive, but when I get sucker-punched with a 3-hit combo all in a day, I start to get a little depressed.

So in the afternoon the husband had offered to go buy lunch back and since all I had for breakfast was a measly slice of peanut butter sandwich, I was feeling quite ravenously hungry (which does not happen all the time). And the cravings were kicking in.

Husband: Orders please.

Me: Can I have 1 packet of chicken rice with extra roasted pork and egg, 1 packet of rojak (it’s this mish-mash of fried doughsticks and pineapple layered with a thick, tangy sweet sauce that’s totally sinful) and an iced milk tea.

Husband: Wow, you sure you can eat all that?

Me: Are you calling me FAT? All I had all day was a tiny sandwich! FINE I’LL STARVE TO DEATH IF THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT!

***

Later that evening, we were heading out to a barbeque with a couple of friends. So this lady (whom I suspect has got a mild case of Tourette syndrome) came into the lift and as usual, my boy was doing his socializing thing, which led to the following conversation.

Lady: You’re so cute! Very chubby too. *Turns to look at me* Just like mommy…

Methinks: You did not just call me chubby, lady. It’s a child I’m carrying, not fats alright. And it’s not like you’re that thin yourself.

***

Finally, at the barbeque, I offered to bring my friend’s 3-year-old kid to the toilet since I needed to pee as well. And as I found out, kids say the darnest things.

Kid: Your stomach is so big.

Me: Yeah, there’s a baby inside. You wanna play with baby?

Kid: *glances at my boobs* But your ‘that one’ is not big.

Me: Which one?

Kid: *points to my boobs* That one.

Methinks: Right… Maybe your view is obscured by the giant stomach, but I can assure you, they are of a very decent size.

***

In the span of 10 hours, I had 3 people call me fat/big/chubby (all the same thing as far as I’m concerned). And also, I’ve got small boobs.

pregnancy

Fat Girl Slim

Over dinner with some former colleagues (all ridiculously thin) who came to visit last week, I was made painfully aware of the fact that I’m no longer in the league of svelte, sultry young things anymore. The operative words being no longer, because I sometimes still reminisce the days when I was a size 6.

We live in a world where thin people have it easy. Designers create couture with a size 4 in mind, and it just doesn’t look the same when transposed onto a XXXL. You comb through the racks to find a nice top, but once you put it on, it will look decent at best.

Think about it. The seats in public transportation are meant to comfortably fit a thin person. Ever tried sitting next to an obese dude on the subway? You get really acquainted with the extra folds of his bottom as it presses up against yours. Even elevators are biased against corpulent individuals. The sign may say it fits 10 persons but if you look at the maximum weight allowed, it’s 500 kg. Do the math.

I never used to think twice about eating a chocolate fudge brownie with extra vanilla ice-cream, and still manage to pull off wearing a bikini right after. To be sure, I was never skinny, but at least I had some semblance of abdominal muscles and there was ample space between my thighs when I walked (it’s called the thigh test – as long as it doesn’t give you abrasions, you’re fine).

But with 2 consecutive pregnancies, I have since bade a tearful farewell to the thin(ner) version of me. So the colleagues (there’s a reason why they are FORMER colleagues) were having a very stimulating conversation on a new and highly effective slimming product and they managed to come to the conclusion that even that would not work for a case a severe as mine. Thanks, Bhav, good going.

But I’ll postulate that Slimspa can kiss my size 12 bottom because BIG IS BEAUTIFUL. It certainly took a while to get used to lugging an extra 30 kg around and I still get breathless after some brisk walking. But look on the bright side, it’ll give me a chance to form a special bond with my neighbors on the train.

The way I see it, I won’t be a fat chick forever and I’ll get back my figure soon enough. The abs may take a while to make a comeback, but I’m aiming to fit into my old jeans by Christmas. From now till then, I can either feel miserable or take a deep breath, suck in the stomach and enjoy the benefits of being big.