Browsing Tag

delivery

kids inc

Mommy’s little girl

July 24, 2009

It’s amazing how being awake at 3 in the morning can give you immense clarity on things. Here I am half asleep and stoned out of my mind, hoping I don’t somehow spasm and drop the baby while I feed her. With one hand I’m holding her bottle, and with the other, I’m stroking her head to induce sleepiness so she will fall right back asleep after her feed (I’m a genius like that).

And as I’m holding her, it hits me that I now have a little girl in my arms. Ever since the delivery, I’ve been so caught up with the baby blues and the crying and exhaustion that I haven’t had time to really take in the awesomeness of it all.

my-girl-2

With Tru, I feel awfully proud all the time. Like he’s the coolest, cheekiest, most charming boy I’ve ever seen, and I can’t help feeling like one proud mama. He’s all ruddy and scruffy and I know that someday soon, he’ll be too big to my Mommy’s boy. Which is fine by me, cos who wants a namby pamby boy anyway? I’d much rather he goes out to explore the world and come home regaling stories of his adventures.

tru-ride

But now, holding my baby girl, I feel incredibly overwhelmed. She’s so girly and sweet and she’s got this lovely way of looking at me like I mean the world to her. She’s got daddy’s eyes, Tru’s nose and mommy’s drop-dead gorgeous everything else. She’s going to grow up to be a heartbreaker, and we’ll have to have to fight off boys till she’s 25. Or 45. Whichever comes later. Girls are different because she will always be Mommy’s little princess. Even when she’s all grown up and has her own kids, I would still shower her with hugs and kisses and we’ll have long chats over coffee by the fireplace (I’m thinking Lake Tahoe). I’m looking forward to those.

I often wondered before she was born if I would have enough love for the both of them, and whether I’d be able to divide it equally between them. Now I realize that you somehow find it within you to love them more that you ever thought possible. So I’m losing my sleep and a little bit of my sanity. I have been showered with all sorts of bodily fluids. I’m carrying the kids so much that I have lost all feeling in my arms (and they are also scarily muscular). But I’m their mommy, so I’ll suck it up and keep going in exchange for some hugs and kisses.

So before the madness begins again, I have to capture the moment and write this down. It’ll be all hands on deck when they wake up in the morning, so for now, I’m savoring the moment for just a little longer.

by
motherhood

And so it begins

July 15, 2009
Motherhood seems deceptively easy

Motherhood seems deceptively easy

Postpartum is a real pain. I’ve been waiting to give birth for months and now that its over, I’m totally floored by it.

It’s been an insane couple of days. I’m still recovering from the trauma of childbirth and struggling with the breastfeeding (my boobs are still broken – 3 days and absolutely no milk) and I’m exhausted beyond description. Plus I can feel an all-too-familiar sensation of the baby blues creeping up on me. It’s deja vu all over again.

The weird thing is, I was actually expecting it in my head. I spent many sleepless nights preparing myself for it, but it’s different actually experiencing it. When it hits, I still feel overwhelmed.

And what are the odds that on the day I get discharged from the hospital, Superdad comes down with a 39.6 degree fever. With the dreaded H1N1 virus going around, he’s now quarantined at home like a leper, so me and the 2 kids are now banished from home. Good thing we’ve got a back up plan, and we’re taking refuge at my mom’s place for a few days until its safe to go back. Unless of course it is a case of H1N1, then we’ll have to send in the professionals to do a clean sweep of the house.

Right now, I’m just waiting for the madness to settle. I hope I’ll find my groove soon.

This is the point I tell myself “2 IS ENOUGH!“

by
pregnancy

Somebody please tell me how to make the baby come out

July 6, 2009

Seriously, the waiting is KILLING ME. I’ve tried every natural birth induction method (except acupuncture because you will have to kill me before I’m allowing anyone to stick needles in my body) since friday and none of it is working. I have been more or less confined to the toilet for some serious business, but other than that, there isn’t even the slightest sign that Kirsten is coming out.

It’s probably way too comfy inside, what with all the goodies I’ve been feeding her and all that water to swim around in. It’s like a permanent spa. Come to think of it, I’d probably not want to come out if I were her.

I haven’t the slightest clue what labor feels like and I’ve been asking everyone who’s ever given birth to describe it to me. The forums aren’t that helpful either. Some say it feels like you need to take a massive crap, and others say it’s like the mother of all menstrual cramps. It’s supposed to be a dull, throbbing pain that comes and goes every few minutes. Mostly, the consensus is that the pain is so bad you lose all control of your mental faculties.

Not that helpful, cos my stomach feels like its in knots all the time. And with the amount of laxatives I’ve been taking, I seriously can’t tell the difference. Every time I feel some tightening in my stomach, I wash my hair and prepare to fly down to the hospital, but apparently, none of it is the real thing. I’m still here and Kirsten is still inside. And now I’ve got really clean hair.

When I last checked on Thursday, she’d already hit 3.3kg, which is already bigger than Tru was when he was born. At the rate she’s going, I’m going to have to squeeze a 4 kg monster of a child out of my thing, which also increases the risk of a wound rupture, which means that I could end up waiting all this time and having to go for another c-section. Gah!

I’m so desperate I’ve even tried to go all new age and visualize my cervix opening up like a flower, (complete with the nirvana music, as I would like to call it) although half the time I’m giggling at how retarded the mental image is.

Now I’ve missed the 4th of July and I can’t show off having an independence day baby. I’ll just end up having my kid on another boring, non-cool date. I hate it when that happens.

And it’s all thanks to my uncooperative cervix.

by