co-sleeping – Mother, Inc

Return of the Sleep Tyrants

September 26, 2011

Right from the time the kids were born, we were certain co-sleeping wasn’t going to work for us. From a very practical perspective, there just wasn’t enough space and while the idea of sleeping with a baby seems so irresistibly sweet, the actual doing is considerably more uncomfortable.

The sweetness lasts for 3 minutes and after that, they turn into little sleep tyrants. They do windmills on the bed, monopolise every inch of space and before I know it, I’m squeezing myself into a 50cm strip of space on my bed.

Occasionally, their diaper leaks and I find myself waking up in a puddle of pee. That’s not my own. Not that I wake up in my own pee regularly (or at all) but it’s so much worse waking up in someone else’s pee. If I had to wake up in a puddle of pee, I’d choose my own any day. Just like if I ever got stung by a jellyfish, I’d much rather pee on myself than have someone else do it.

So from the beginning, we were diligent in getting them to sleep on their own beds. We did up a gorgeous nursery, bought them supercool toddler beds, gave them cold turkey and taught them to sleep on their own, feeling mighty proud of ourselves.

But…and you know there’s a but because there’s ALWAYS a but. The ‘but’ sometimes comes in the form of a dark stormy night when the kids wake up crying with nightmares. Or a persistent virus that requires through-the-night supervision. Or just a moment of weakness coupled with puppy dog eyes.

And when the ‘but’ happens, everything goes belly up very quickly.

Which explains why the nursery has been unused for several months now. The latest sleeping arrangement involves 2 mattresses laid out in our room every night and you’d think it’s for the kids to sleep but more often than not, we find ourselves on the mattresses while the kids usurp our bed.

We’ve been wanting to restart the sleep training but the though of having to sit in their room for hours through the night terrifies me. On good days, I get to crawl into bed at midnight and an hour in, I have to stumble my way into the nursery because one of them is awake and asking to sleep in our room. So let’s see, option 1 is to sit there with them till they fall asleep or option 2, cave and let them come over so we can all get some decent sleep.

Right now, we’re even contemplating turning the nursery into our secret back up sleeping room but they’re probably going to invade that too.

Seriously, how do you guys do it?

by Daphne

kids inc

Parenting for dummies – the worser guide

May 12, 2009

Parenting these days is not like it used to be. In most ways. our parents had it easy. There were clear-cut rules and it was pretty standard, like “Do your homework or I’ll whip your ass” and we all grew up alright. These days, there are all kinds of newfangled parenting theories that make it impossible for mothers to do anything right.

From the time the kids are born, we’re supposed to choose between co-sleeping and letting them cry it out in their cot. Some experts say swaddle the baby, some say rock the baby, and others advocate attaching them to your body and carrying them around 24/7. Mothers are supposed to navigate their way through all the different do’s and don’ts gathered from all kinds of “authoritative sources”.

And then there’s the pressure of keeping up with the latest trends so our kids have a relatively easy time assimilating into the popular group in school. I was teaching Tru how to speak and it dawned upon me that even the English we speak has evolved so much that it’s hardly the same language we learnt when we were growing up. My mom used to make us speak “the Queen’s English”, to watch the grammar and pronunciation. Now, I listen to kids speak and it really sounds like a bunch of broken up mumbo-jumbo. Apparently broken English is the new Queen’s English.

Here’s a few examples.

1. Wanna come with?

It’s not a complete question. I feel constipated, like I’m waiting for an elusive last word. It’s supposed to be WANNA COME WITH ME, you nitwits. As made popular by shows like One Tree Hill and The O.C, kids are now speaking in incomplete sentences. So to ease my pain, I make it like a game where I get to guess the missing words. “It’s really loads fun play, especially with.”

2. What up?

Barney Stinson from HIMYM even has a range of hand gestures to illustrate this ridiculous phrase. Where’s the S, dude? It’s the reverse of what I call the Asian S Syndrome. Asians have a strange habit of misplacing their S’s and it’s really disconcerting. They will add scatter random S’s to words that do not exist in the plural form so it sounds like they have some kind of lisp. “Generallys, we wants to make sure that the meetings is successful.”

Now, I’m all for keeping up with the latest trends, but I’m somewhat iffy at intentionally teaching my kids bad grammar. They don’t need to speak like the Queen, but I draw the line at worser English. Perhaps the rules of the language would have changed in 15 years time, but I think for now, I’ll make sure they cross their T’s and dot their I’s. And from time to time, I’ll just throw in a random whipping so they’ll do their homework.

by Daphne