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baby

pregnancy

24 Season 2: A very long engagement

After a 27 hour ordeal, it’s all finally over. And via natural birth too! I’ll describe the experience at length later, but here’s how it went.

12 July 2009, Sunday

10.00 – Admitted to the hospital for Induction, hooked up to the CTG machine to monitor the contractions and baby’s heartbeat.

12.00 – Prostin Inserted. Not fun at all.

14.00 – Irregular contractions. Brought up to the ward to rest. I was all like “if this is how contractions feel like, I don’t think I even need epidural. No sweat at all.” And then I spent the afternoon watching movies on my laptop.

18.00 – Hooked up to the CTG again. Contractions 7-8 minutes apart, but still irregular.

22.00 – Supposed to go for second round of Prosstin to increase contractions, but managed to escape since contractions are up to once in 3 minutes. Wheeled in to delivery suite.

22.30 – Abused by psycho nurse who came in to check my cervix (only 1 cm). I was absolutely livid with rage.

23.00 – Had to eat my words – in loads of pain. Injected with Pethidine (in my thigh) for pain relief.

13 July 2009, Monday

01.00 – Epidural inserted. HURTS LIKE HELL. Epidural sucks.

03.00 – Oxytocin injected to induce contractions again. Contractions still fluctuating between once every 5-8 minutes. By this time, I was kinda drifting in and out of sleep. Cervix still at 1 cm.

09.00 – Gynae dropped by for a consult. Cervix at 3 cm. He says it’s gonna be a long labor, as if it’s not been long enough. If there’s no sign of progress in 8 hours, I’ll have to go for another c-section.

12.00 – Somehow the epidural only got channeled to the right side, and my entire left side was in excruciating pain. Contractions coming hard and fast and I was all worked up screaming for pain relief. I seriously thought I was about to die. Literally.

12.15 – Hot, young anesthetist came with more epidural. Pity I didn’t notice because I was having a near-death experience. The husband says he’s hot, and that I wasn’t dying. But he obviously doesn’t know anything cos he wasn’t pushing a baby out of his bits.

12.30 – Cervix at 9 cm. All I could think about was that something feels like it’s dropping out and I need to take a massive crap.

13.30 – After a lot of pushing and shoving (and an episiotomy), Kirsten finally came out with a plop.

It was totally surreal. And kinda awesome.

love bites

What men really want

The husband sent me this pic with a giant header that says “This has to appear in your blog”, so I’ve decided to be all nice and obliging since Superdad has been saving my ass the whole of this week. And who doesn’t just LOVE a life-sized remote control with all the buttons for dudes to control women.

I’m all done with my bra-burning days, so hello, Stepford Mom.

what-men-want
I love that all the needs of a man can be filtered down to 3 simple words – sex, food and beer (in that order). All the others are inconsequential.

Take work for example. The whole point of working is to earn a bunch of dough so that they can buy food and beer and a fancypants sports car, which will lead to some smoking hot sex in the sports car. Or outside the sports car so the fancy upholstery wouldn’t be all ruined which would mean the end of all future prospective hot sex, cos the only sex they’ll be getting with a crummy, beat-up junk is from a toothless transvestite who just had a hair transplant.

And married men (especially fathers) need the remote more than their bachelor friends, since their only hope of having any food or hot sex (forget the beer) is if they cleaned up the house, fed the kids, bought some diamonds, gave me a bubble bath and a nice massage, by which time I’d be sleeping like a baby, except on good days where I’m not pregnant, or having PMS or feeling too fat.

I say it’s tough to be a dude. Problem is, most guys who don’t get the sex end up eating more food and guzzling down more beer to try to fill that giant void in their lives. But then they (i’m still referring to men here) end up looking like they’re 7 months pregnant and that also eliminates all hope they have for getting any sex in the foreseeable future. Vicious cycle.

Men are, in fact, the weaker sex. Hey, read the news.

So take it from a chick. It’s far easier to do the housework and run the bubble bath. At least there’s a chance (however slim) it might just be your lucky day.

not feeling so supermom

Groundhog Day

Great, my son is now also infected with the flu, which makes three. I feel like one of those ebola virus carriers they quarantine in the maximum security cells. Plus I just had one of those insane pull-out-your-hair-and-scream kind of days where you wish it would just be over.

Question: What do you get when you put 2 sick adults and a sick baby together? Groundhog Day.

The day just stretches on forever, and I keep finding myself back at the same place over and over again. Like that scene in the Matrix where you end up in the exact same spot no matter which way you go or how fast you run.

Let me see, where should I start. Tru woke up screaming at 5.45 this morning, cranky and hungry. To put it into perspective, he hasn’t woken up earlier than 6.30 since he was 4 months old, and I certainly do not function before the sun rises. Then for the rest of the day, he refused to sleep without being carried, and he would wake up after 20 minutes.

Normally, I wouldn’t indulge this sort of behavior, but looking into his doleful eyes, I couldn’t help myself. He had a stream of mucus running down his left nostril and his temperature was at 38.2 degrees. Every so often, he would sneeze and rub his nose in that cute baby fashion. So I did what every mother probably would. I held him for the whole afternoon and bawled like a baby.

I have to say, the little man is a real trooper. Thanks to his stuffed nose, every time he tried to suck his thumb to sleep, he would gasp for air and then repeat the process again. Well of course, there was no way of falling asleep like that, but he still tried anyway.

It seemed like the day would never end. But it did, and he finally drifted off to sleep. And for this fleeting moment, he looked at me as if to say, “thanks mom, I couldn’t have made it through without you.”

I guess I live to fight another day.