Browsing Tag

ants

love bites

What men really want

The husband sent me this pic with a giant header that says “This has to appear in your blog”, so I’ve decided to be all nice and obliging since Superdad has been saving my ass the whole of this week. And who doesn’t just LOVE a life-sized remote control with all the buttons for dudes to control women.

I’m all done with my bra-burning days, so hello, Stepford Mom.

what-men-want
I love that all the needs of a man can be filtered down to 3 simple words – sex, food and beer (in that order). All the others are inconsequential.

Take work for example. The whole point of working is to earn a bunch of dough so that they can buy food and beer and a fancypants sports car, which will lead to some smoking hot sex in the sports car. Or outside the sports car so the fancy upholstery wouldn’t be all ruined which would mean the end of all future prospective hot sex, cos the only sex they’ll be getting with a crummy, beat-up junk is from a toothless transvestite who just had a hair transplant.

And married men (especially fathers) need the remote more than their bachelor friends, since their only hope of having any food or hot sex (forget the beer) is if they cleaned up the house, fed the kids, bought some diamonds, gave me a bubble bath and a nice massage, by which time I’d be sleeping like a baby, except on good days where I’m not pregnant, or having PMS or feeling too fat.

I say it’s tough to be a dude. Problem is, most guys who don’t get the sex end up eating more food and guzzling down more beer to try to fill that giant void in their lives. But then they (i’m still referring to men here) end up looking like they’re 7 months pregnant and that also eliminates all hope they have for getting any sex in the foreseeable future. Vicious cycle.

Men are, in fact, the weaker sex. Hey, read the news.

So take it from a chick. It’s far easier to do the housework and run the bubble bath. At least there’s a chance (however slim) it might just be your lucky day.

kids in motion, Videos I dig

Vacuum Kid – New and Improved

I came across this kid on Ellen who really loves vacuum cleaners. He’s got 10 different vacuums at home and he’s in tune with all the leading brands in the market.

I mean, he’s cute and loves to clean. What’s not to like?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BC5NoQ7Rfcw

I showed this clip to my boy and being the overachiever that he is, he’s taken it to a whole new level altogether.

Me: Tru, check out this boy on Ellen. He loves vacuums. That’s so cute!

Tru: Waradsto feagast staorsf dirst (Big deal, he just likes vacuums. I can actually vacuum)

After this conversation transpired, he’s taken to replacing my Karcher A1000. You heard me. He’s been crawling around the house picking at dirt and eating it. I usually start by placing him in my living room and within 15 minutes, he’d have worked his way into the bedrooms and the kitchen.

It’s incredible, he’s even more advanced that the flipit. While it only vacuums dry and wet, Tru also vacuums dead or alive. Dust, puddles, ants, flying bugs and roaches, they all disappear like magic.

Most vacuums can at best do a functional job of cleaning the carpets. Not so with the new and improved version. He really gets into the carpets and digs out all the stubborn specks of dirt trapped in between the tiny fibers. Best of all, you don’t have the hassle of having to locate a power point or changing the dust bag.

Alright, so once in a while, he’ll be hacking away like a cat choking on a hairball, but it’s nothing a few solid pats on the back won’t solve.

I’m thinking of putting him on the market to see if it takes off. (Hey, college education doesn’t get paid for by itself)

Who knows, he might do one better and get featured on Oprah.