Question: Anyone else ever felt as inadequate about being a mom as I do? I mean, I love kids but I’m terrible at teaching them phonics or nutrition or how to make the toilet or being responsible and all that.
Last week, I’ve been trying to get Kirsten to pee in the toilet. I psyched her up about being a big girl and wearing Hello Kitty panties instead of diapers and put her on the toilet bowl. She was all “mommy do” so ok, I figured since kids learnt through imitation, I’d do a live demo for her.
And she just stood there and laughed – nice one, baby girl.
It doesn’t really help that every other mother I know seems to have their act together. They potty-train their newborns and their kids can draw a straight line by 11 months. I’m obviously way behind because I’m 29 and still can’t draw a straight line. After that, they move on to advanced topics like feeding organic vegetables that they’ve grown by hand in their backyard and teaching their kids to perform cardiothoracic surgery.
Then I come across sites like these and I feel so. much. better.
I’ve picked out some of my favorites here. I may or may not have done these at some point.
1. Everyone thinks I’m such a great mom for teaching my daughter how to read already. It wasn’t me. It was the Leapfrog pen. I had no idea she could read.
2. Since it’s summertime, about once a week I take the kids for ice cream… for lunch.
3. I forget to brush my 1- and 2-year-olds’ teeth. I am not sure why it’s so hard for me to remember, but it’s a good thing that these teeth will fall out.
4. At the end if the day, my needs are really simple: To be able to shit in peace.
5. At the end of a long challenging day, I’m apt to call bedtime half and hour early. It’s not like they can tell time yet.
6. I used bandaids to cover my nipples when I weaned my children. See? All gone.
7. I joined a gym just for the free daycare. I drop the kids off and read magazines and blogs in the locker room.
8. Questions of the day: 1) How did the pepperoni get stuck to the ceiling? 2) Why didn’t gravity kick in & make it fall? 3) How did I not notice this? 4) When did we have pizza last?
9. I confiscated my teenager’s stash of pot, gave her a lecture, and have been smoking it ever since myself.
10. Last week, my hairdresser asked how far along I was. I’m not pregnant, but I pretended to be 4 months. I can never go back there.
11. Mother dropping her kid for a sleepover at my house: “No food dye, no dairy, just soy milk, only organic food, and we don’t eat ANY fast food.” I let them eat all the junk they wanted. They seemed fine.
12. My kids hardy bathe in the summer. The pool totally counts.
13. When my daughter asked me what comes after a trillion, I told her “a gazillion.” Um, we are homeschoolers. Not supposed to just make shit up.
14. My baby is not spoiled, she just doesn’t like you.
15. I confess that most days, I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. Everyone thinks I have it all together — good wife, good mom, successful career — but I really don’t. I’m ready to stop pretending to be perfect now.
What’s yours?
34 Comments
i feel the same as you do. just the other day at church, this lady shared that she assigns different soft toys to let her daughter know when she wants her to take a nap during the day and when to go to bed at night.. i was dumbfounded… never knew that a baby can be trained like this..lol
FYI.. my baby goes to sleep when she’s tired or usually when she’s feeding..i always thought that this is the normal way to go or is it not? lol
Seriously??! The only way to train my baby to sleep was to restrain her with swaddles.
I just have one word for this: POWER!
My kid fell and bruised his head very badly at the playground once when i wasn’t watching him..becos I was playing Angry Birds on my iPhone :(
Hope it wasn’t anything serious. But I totally understand…I mean, it’s mind-numbingly boring to vigilantly stare at kids at the playground for a whole hour. Every time I check my watch, it’s like only 3 minutes and the iPhone is my only source of entertainment.
I like that list! Makes me feel ALOT better. No.4 makes me LOL cos I can totally identify with that. Ha! Well, there are days (too many) when I feel totally inadequate and have no idea what I’m doing with those kids, fed them junk, didn’t bathe them til late at night etc. I guess this parenting journey is a life-long learning thing. Didn’t do well today, well, can always start afresh the next day!
Agreed! I really like your last statement! :)
Ooopsie… I can so identify with too many on that list. Sigh.
I can totally relate with no.4 about shitting in peace. C’mon, it’s a simple thing….but to US it’s a BIG thing!!! And also to eat in peace, wash dishes in peace, pee in peace, bathe in peace…..with NO ONE tugging at your shirt or fghting for toys in 1-minute gaps.
Hahahah you took the words out of my mouth! Hi-5 on that!
Haha, I love this list! I can totally relate. :D
Personally, why should I complain about not being perfect? It is because I am imperfect, that my wife complements me. When I grow older, I suspect it will be my “imperfect” memories which will give me sweet memories keke.
I feel inadequate ever so often. Worse when I start hearing what some other ‘super moms’ are doing and what their ‘super kids’ have achieved – though I keep telling myself not compare! :P
Me too!! I mentally remind myself not to compare all the time but it’s like an occupational hazard. I think it’s because there aren’t any KPIs for mothering and the only way we know that we’re on the right track is to look at other moms.
No 2. Ice cream isn’t adequate lunch? It’s got protein!
No. 7. I actually know A LOT of moms that take advantage of this one, except they don’t hide in the locker room. They just do it openly… in the cafe.
Love the list!
Hahah, I eat ice cream for lunch all the time and I’m fine. Sometimes I make it a complete meal by throwing in some Ruffles Sourcream and Cheddar for the carbs and cheese (not sure what category cheese is in but I heard it’s good!)
Haha great list!
Some days my son only wants to eat fries for dinner, I’ll let him be. Or if he only wants to eat meat and no veggies for dinner. Either that or a melt down from the kid. And sometimes we let him drink coke too, ha! But just sips not gulps, oh and he’s only 18 months right now.
Speaking of veggies, my kids are like allergic to veggies. Once in a while, they will eat a little if I chop them up into microscopic pieces but most of the time, they will dig it out from their mouths (even when I hid in behind the other food) and say “I don’t like vegetables”.
The best way to get kids to eat veggies it to sneak them into things. I made muffins with apples and pumpkin and they loved it! and I made zuchini muffins.. works great!
5 5 5 5 5 !!!! I tell my children that when it’s dark, you sleep. Usually, 8.30pm is considered dark, but on days I really really need more time to use the computer, 7.30pm is dark already. And on very very selective days, 6.30pm is considered dark already, heee ….
Nice one! I must do that sometime.
I love your list, and thanks for the link to Scarymommy! I feel so much better already :) I feel so inadequate sometimes, especially when I am tired. Just this evening after work, my supposed “learning activity” for my girls was watching movie trailers on my MacBook, and the other day, it was flipping through Mummy’s old photos. With me lying horizontally on the floor or sofa. Heh.
Hahahahahahahahah awesome. Whatever it takes to get us 5 minutes of horizontal lying time.
Finally I know I’m not alone out there….;)
Well, we actually walked out of a restaurant without the baby who was sleeping in the stroller. Totally forgot. Suddenly felt so free and wondered why and what we were missing. It was only when Jamie casually asked – where’s didi? when we realized and ran so fast back we did. Luckily he was still asleep in that stroller when we retrieved him. Some parents we are huh. Haha.
OMG that sounds like something I would have done. Good thing you remembered in time!
love the list too. reminds me that, to loosen up.
nice to meet you yesterday:). to me, you are not inadequate.
i don’t remember when my elder girl diaper-free, but definitely not 2. think before 4… ha!
Nice meeting you too, pc!
Mine is listening to other people’s advise and doing things that are just so not right for my kid. One of them is trying the crying out loud method when Sophie was a little babe. I caved in after half hour of crying and made me so guilty after that.
Lesson learnt, we are our mother’s child and no one knows them better than we do.
Actually I did the crying it out with both my kids right up till they turned 1. It was the only way we survived the first 2 years, but you’re right, each child is different and only the mommy knows best.
oh that’s easy. i was suppose to tabao for my hungry kids back home but i sat down & devour a bowl of wanton mee first. when the kids are tearing each other out, i give lame instructions like “stop fighting” but my arse is still on the couch with my eyes glued to my fashion mag.
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Being a new mom i feel inadequate allll the time. Just the other day i go to a friends house and everything is perfect in its place, all clean…she has a 9 month old boy. i come home and clothes and dirty dishes are every where, along with baby snacks and onsies…i have an 8 month old. fml
gosh, just when i am feeling inadequate, a stranger send me the link to your blog. makes me feel more human again. my biggest debate now is whether to homeschool. my son tried out 2 preschool and each lasted only 1 month. he wants to be schooled, he wants to learn, he wants friends other than mummy. but well, he has better instinct than me on safety and teachers he consider uncapable to teach him like mummy does. he also find school rather boring with kids that he can’t communicate with. he asked to be homeschool while i feel so selfish to have that 2 hour of alone time to be confiscated from me just when i am getting over my separation anxiety. any opinion on your as a parent of homeschool-ers?
I think you should do what feels right for the both of you. Your boy will probably let you know once he’s ready so enjoy your time with him for now!
These are absolutely hilarious!! Thank you so much for sharing them. I think my personal favorite is either number 7 (though I can’t really relate because I treasure my workouts as time for ME), or number 5. I can’t wait to check out the full list, and maybe even make some contributions of my own.