Welcome to the poop parade

I thought we had mastered the art of going out with 3 kids but turns out that it can still be quite the adventure.

Want to hear about the time we had a poop parade at the mall? Of course you do.

So we were out with all 3 of them one afternoon when we came upon some kiddie rides at Tampines One. We typically chart a course to bypass the kiddie ride ambush but since the husband was held up on a call, I thought, “Sure, why not? Go for it.”

Being in a big sisterly mood, Kirsten put her arms around baby Finn and tried to hoist him onto her lap, unaware that Finn had other plans, one which involved breaking free and making the poop at that very moment. So there they were, in this little tussle, one trying to wriggle out (and simultaneously pooping) while the other was grabbing him by the waist in a death grip. This manoeuvre led to some of that poop getting smeared on Kirsten’s thigh, which in turn led to a monstrous freak out session. As it is, Kirsten gets massively grossed out just by having someone else’s saliva touch her so getting pooped on is high on her list of reasons to go absolutely nuts.

“EWWW POOP ON MY THIGH SO GROSS, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!!” she shrieked, frantically wiping it off with her shorts.

Truett, who was witnessing the whole thing next to her, started shouting, “JUST TAHAN, you’re making it worse. LEAVE IT ALONE!” Seeing that his suggestions were clearly falling on deaf ears, he tried to make a quick getaway but tripped on the edge of the step and fell face first onto the floor. Some level of yelling took place.

At this point, baby Finn (who thought the commotion was a super fun game) had escaped from his sister’s clutches and attempting to climb all over the other kiddie ride at the side, making cheeky faces while smearing his poop on more surfaces.

I was having one of those brain freeze moments where my brain was struggling to process which situation to deal with first. Do I go for the screamy 4-year-old on in a full on meltdown, the 5-year-old with a face-plant situation or the poopy toddler making poop art in public? There was no way I would be able to haul all 3 of them to the toilet in their respective states, I wasn’t even going to try.

I figured everyone should calm down so I said, “ok guys, let’s all just calm down.”

That didn’t help.

Ok, maybe distraction then. “Look! Baby Finn is making goofy faces!!” I thought maybe it was a good time to stop and take some pictures of my super gross baby.

For some reason, Truett is unable to resist his brother’s goofy faces so he got up, dusted himself off and came to peer at Finn, then started laughing. “Take one of us making pretend poopy faces,” he said.

I was happy to oblige.

Reluctantly, Kirsten stopped yelling variations of “EWWWWW” and came over to let me wipe her thigh with baby wipes. That done, I was finally able to herd everyone off to the toilet without any screaming or kicking.

Experience levelled up but how about let’s never try that again.