I was just thinking that motherhood is a lot like fighting a war. And I don’t mean it as a hyperbole, like how tough it is because being in a war is way worse. I know that.
You know how war vets, when they meet another veteran, whom they have never met, instantly feel like they’re soulmates. It’s kind of the same with being a mother. Because the moment a screaming baby pops out of your uterus, your life changes forever. But the world goes on, and people who haven’t experienced it themselves, don’t really know what it’s like to be there for somebody every second of every day.
In that moment, you transform into a parent. The kind of people who can’t stop talking about their kids. Their milk intake, their superb crawling abilities, their boogers, their cute little toes that send you hyperventilating. People who don’t have kids smile politely but 5 minutes in, they’re bored out of their skulls as you regale them with yet another story of how incredible it was that your sweet little munchkin learnt how to stuff his pinky up his nostril. Like “look, here’s a close up of the nostril, and here, and here and oh, the one is really good…”
After a while. you learn a bit of restraint.
You make a mental note to talk about the weather or the latest movie that you obviously haven’t had the time to watch.
Until you meet another mother. Who’s been in the trenches. Who also hasn’t slept in months. Whose boobs are all sore and lumpy and saggy. Who looks just about as crazy as you do. And then it’s like you’ve found a real friend. You trade babies and share tips on how to make you life less of a nightmare. But most of all, you heave a sigh of relief and feel glad that you’re not the only one in the world who fell off the globe as the world went on without you.
Motherhood, it’s a strange and wonderful thing.
It’s like fighting a war that nobody else but you knows about. Sometimes you get all beat up and wounded and you feel like you’re all alone. But then you realize that you’re not. That tons of mothers are going through the exact same thing. That’s when you find solidarity and friendship.
To me, that’s one of the best surprises in being a mom.
3 Comments
I kinda stopped dating my long time girlfrens who are (still) singles ‘cos we never seem to have ANY common topics anymore, which is really sad. I feel like I’m on Pluto while they are still on Venus.
But i’m also thankful to be able to hang on to those who also became moms along the way (around the same time with me). The emotional and friendship support is so important. We can talk NON-STOP (about our kids, nothing about ourselves!!) for 2 hours whenever we meet!
Yah it’s really a whole crazy thing.
Well-said. I always have 2 watch my mouth whenever I talk to my friends about my kid. At my age, it happens all the time. I end up disgusting some of them with my labor stories. Think MCYS will blacklist me for being anti-make-babies-and-we-give-u-money.
.-= Chrystal´s last blog ..Who makes Chinese New Year resolutions? =-.
That’s so true, except we have to try to catch the other mummies without the kids so that u can talk properly about them! This is the sort of logic that only other mothers get. :)
.-= Jacqueline yeo´s last blog ..[somebody’s turning 5!!!] =-.