seriously somewhat serious

A Tribute… of sorts

March 16, 2009

Thanks for all the times you would have been there for him,

For all the times you’d hold his hand,

For all the wonderful stories you’d tell,

For all trips to the zoo and the park,

For all the toys you’d have lavished on him,

For all the times you’d scoop him up if he was tired,

For all the kisses and hugs,

For all the tickles and giggles,

For all the mischief you’d encourage,

For all the times he’d sit on your lap just to be held,

For the beaming grin he’d reserve just for you,

For the look of pride in your eyes every time you’re with him…

I’m sorry you never got the chance to meet. I know he would have loved to spend time with you. One day, I’ll sit him down and tell him all about the amazing Grandpa you would have been, and his eyes will open in wonder.

We miss you.

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Funny or So I think, kids inc

A Hair-Raising Affair

March 13, 2009

It’s that time of the month again. The dreaded haircut. For me, a haircut is like a head spa. I’ve got a people fussing over my hair, giving me a head massage while I sip my earl grey and catch up on Cosmo, plus I walk away with a nice do.

Not quite the same story for my son. He hates having itsy hair bits stuck to his face and neck and he’ll squirm like an eel out of water.

The last time he had a haircut, it didn’t go very well. Peruse specimen A.

Geek in the Blue

Despite telling the stylist (I’m being generous with the term here) not to take off too much from the fringe and the sides, she completely butchered his hair with her evil shaver. And I still had to pay $16 for it.

For almost a month, he had to go around LOOKING LIKE MR. SPOCK. Peruse specimen B.
Other Geek in the Blue

This time, I wasn’t taking any chances, and I decided to cut his hair myself. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m talented in so many ways. Anyway, how difficult can a haircut be? I’ve seen them do it a hundred times, just grab a bunch between my fingers and snip away.

Before you decide to work on your own hair, you might want to start with your dog, cos it’s kinda tougher than it looks. The squirming was uncontrollable, and half the time I was close to dislodging his eye. And once you start, you can’t just abandon ship halfway, or it’ll look like he got attacked by a rabid dog.

After about an hour, we stood back and surveyed the final product. It was really not bad at all, for a virgin attempt.

*Excuse me while I go show off my chef d’oeuvre.

by
lists you should paste on your fridge, motherhood, side effects of motherhood

How you know you’re a parent

March 12, 2009

Before you have babies, you mistakenly assume that they will fit nicely into your perfect, little lives. WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES.

1. Preparing to leave the house takes 3 hours

2. Shoving food down your throat takes 3 minutes

3. Shopping consists of wheeling a screaming kid around the mall at breakneck speed

4. Holidays are a thing of the past

5. Friends stop calling you out for parties past 7 pm, provided you even have friends

6. Everything has to be repeated 1,245 times

7. Movies are screened in your living room with the volume at negative 25

8. One look at the poop and you can tell what they had for dinner

9. Hypersonic screams are part of the ambient sounds

10. You no longer have a life

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