Parenting these days is not like it used to be. In most ways. our parents had it easy. There were clear-cut rules and it was pretty standard, like “Do your homework or I’ll whip your ass” and we all grew up alright. These days, there are all kinds of newfangled parenting theories that make it impossible for mothers to do anything right.
From the time the kids are born, we’re supposed to choose between co-sleeping and letting them cry it out in their cot. Some experts say swaddle the baby, some say rock the baby, and others advocate attaching them to your body and carrying them around 24/7. Mothers are supposed to navigate their way through all the different do’s and don’ts gathered from all kinds of “authoritative sources”.
And then there’s the pressure of keeping up with the latest trends so our kids have a relatively easy time assimilating into the popular group in school. I was teaching Tru how to speak and it dawned upon me that even the English we speak has evolved so much that it’s hardly the same language we learnt when we were growing up. My mom used to make us speak “the Queen’s English”, to watch the grammar and pronunciation. Now, I listen to kids speak and it really sounds like a bunch of broken up mumbo-jumbo. Apparently broken English is the new Queen’s English.
Here’s a few examples.
1. Wanna come with?
It’s not a complete question. I feel constipated, like I’m waiting for an elusive last word. It’s supposed to be WANNA COME WITH ME, you nitwits. As made popular by shows like One Tree Hill and The O.C, kids are now speaking in incomplete sentences. So to ease my pain, I make it like a game where I get to guess the missing words. “It’s really loads fun play, especially with.”
2. What up?
Barney Stinson from HIMYM even has a range of hand gestures to illustrate this ridiculous phrase. Where’s the S, dude? It’s the reverse of what I call the Asian S Syndrome. Asians have a strange habit of misplacing their S’s and it’s really disconcerting. They will add scatter random S’s to words that do not exist in the plural form so it sounds like they have some kind of lisp. “Generallys, we wants to make sure that the meetings is successful.”
Now, I’m all for keeping up with the latest trends, but I’m somewhat iffy at intentionally teaching my kids bad grammar. They don’t need to speak like the Queen, but I draw the line at worser English. Perhaps the rules of the language would have changed in 15 years time, but I think for now, I’ll make sure they cross their T’s and dot their I’s. And from time to time, I’ll just throw in a random whipping so they’ll do their homework.
