pregnancy

27 hours

July 27, 2009

I’ve got a long overdue post on the labor and delivery. 27 hours must be some kind of record and folks all want to know what the experience was like. I dare say, there’s no other experience like childbirth and that’s why dudes will never understand. That’s also why they must be the first to apologize in every argument. It’s like a trump card with unlimited powers.

All fights with the husband should go something like this.

Husband: You’re being irrational and unreasonable.

Me: I gave birth to your kids. There’s nothing rational about THAT.

Husband: Yes, but it doesn’t mean I have to give in all the time.

Me: 27 hours. That’s how long I was in labor.

Husband: I’m sorry.

Me: You don’t look sorry. I need to see some remorse here.

*This should eventually lead to some diamonds, flowers and some pretty hot sexytime.

Never mind that in the 27 hours, I was chilling out watching Chuck for about 10, and for the next 16, I was under the influence of epidural. But then again, that 1 hour of pain almost drove me to hurl profanities at the nurse, midwife and most of all, the husband, without whom I would not be in that state to begin with.

You know how sometimes on retrospect, some experiences seem less painful with the benefit of hindsight? Like this one time, I had a bad fall while rollerblading and a huge patch of skin got scraped off from my right side near my spleen. It hurt then, but now that I think about it, the pain was not that bad.

TOTALLY NOT THE SAME for labor. When I think about it now, I still get a shiver down my spine, because it felt like someone was rolling my uterus into a tiny ball and mashing it up. Seriously, if they didn’t give me the epidural, I would have been shouting for cyanide.

Although I did enjoy the part where I could feel the baby coming out. The only good thing about the contractions was that it culminated into that one moment where I could finally start pushing the baby out. It was like a scene right out of Grey’s Anantomy. I had one leg propped against the gynae’s hip and the other leg against the nurse and they were both yelling at me to PUSH. At that point, I had no idea which muscle to contract anymore, so it was pretty much mayhem in there. I had sweat pouring down my face and I was making sounds only Chewbacca could understand.

The whole time, the husband was peering intently at the goings-on, looking terribly appalled. I’m sure glad its over, but I’m also glad I went through it. I say mothers should be given a medal of honor, like a purple heart or something. Then again, we’ve got the kids to show for it, which is a way cooler medal if you ask me.

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kids inc

Mommy’s little girl

July 24, 2009

It’s amazing how being awake at 3 in the morning can give you immense clarity on things. Here I am half asleep and stoned out of my mind, hoping I don’t somehow spasm and drop the baby while I feed her. With one hand I’m holding her bottle, and with the other, I’m stroking her head to induce sleepiness so she will fall right back asleep after her feed (I’m a genius like that).

And as I’m holding her, it hits me that I now have a little girl in my arms. Ever since the delivery, I’ve been so caught up with the baby blues and the crying and exhaustion that I haven’t had time to really take in the awesomeness of it all.

my-girl-2

With Tru, I feel awfully proud all the time. Like he’s the coolest, cheekiest, most charming boy I’ve ever seen, and I can’t help feeling like one proud mama. He’s all ruddy and scruffy and I know that someday soon, he’ll be too big to my Mommy’s boy. Which is fine by me, cos who wants a namby pamby boy anyway? I’d much rather he goes out to explore the world and come home regaling stories of his adventures.

tru-ride

But now, holding my baby girl, I feel incredibly overwhelmed. She’s so girly and sweet and she’s got this lovely way of looking at me like I mean the world to her. She’s got daddy’s eyes, Tru’s nose and mommy’s drop-dead gorgeous everything else. She’s going to grow up to be a heartbreaker, and we’ll have to have to fight off boys till she’s 25. Or 45. Whichever comes later. Girls are different because she will always be Mommy’s little princess. Even when she’s all grown up and has her own kids, I would still shower her with hugs and kisses and we’ll have long chats over coffee by the fireplace (I’m thinking Lake Tahoe). I’m looking forward to those.

I often wondered before she was born if I would have enough love for the both of them, and whether I’d be able to divide it equally between them. Now I realize that you somehow find it within you to love them more that you ever thought possible. So I’m losing my sleep and a little bit of my sanity. I have been showered with all sorts of bodily fluids. I’m carrying the kids so much that I have lost all feeling in my arms (and they are also scarily muscular). But I’m their mommy, so I’ll suck it up and keep going in exchange for some hugs and kisses.

So before the madness begins again, I have to capture the moment and write this down. It’ll be all hands on deck when they wake up in the morning, so for now, I’m savoring the moment for just a little longer.

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kids inc

One is the loneliest number

July 23, 2009
siblings

siblings

I’m really glad that my 2 kids are taking well to each other. At first, I was a little concerned about sibling rivalry and whether Tru would get jealous of the new baby that is taking away all of Mommy’s time and attention. The first time he came to visit me in the hospital, he refused to look at Kirsten or go near her. Then we decided to get him a present saying that it was from his baby sister, and everything changed.

Over the past week, he’s been unbelievably sweet to her and just looking at them both makes me feel like it’s worth it, that I made the right choice having them so close together.

Being a single child and having all the attention is overrated. I have a brother who is 13 months older than me and growing up, we had a blast doing all sorts of crazy stuff together. It’s the next best thing to having a twin. I mean, it’s no fun playing alone and there’s nobody to cover your ass when you’re sneaking out to watch a movie instead of doing a school project. Of course there were many occasions where we were clawing each other’s eyes out, but I always knew that at the end of the day, he totally had my back.

Naturally, I’m hoping that the two kids will grow up being best friends. I don’t even mind if they conspire to conjure mischief. My superior Mommy brain will see it coming from a mile off anyway. I reckon my parents knew all our little tricks back then, but they indulged us once in a while.

I have a feeling Tru will be an awesome big brother. These days, the first thing he wants to do when he wakes up is to go and kiss Kirsten (and also poke her eyes and mouth – but I’m taking it as a sign of affection). It’s really sweet and on her part, Kirsten doesn’t seem to mind the occasional poke or smack to the face.

Just the other day, baby girl was crying for milk in the morning, and Tru was beside her drinking his milk. After like 10 seconds of her crying, he put down his bottle and started shouting at her, but not in a vicious way. Like “aahhh, aaahhh, aaahhhh”. I suspect he was trying to tell her that it’s ok, but he figured she probably couldn’t hear him with all the screaming so he decided to shout too. It was actually hilarious.

I think it’s going to be so fun with the two of them around.

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