stuff best described as not safe for parents

How about you pick on someone your own size?

September 9, 2010

Tru had his first encounter with a bully a couple of days ago. He was at a playgroup with a bunch of other kids his age, running around and doing his kid thing while I was busy fiddling with my iPhone. I heard him crying so I ran over just in time to see him with this other boy who was almost a whole head taller than him grabbing both his hands real tight and making a nasty face at him.

In situations like these, I try not to overreact because a mother’s first instinct is to go kungfu ballistic on anyone that tried to hurt my kid. Also, all I saw was the goliath of a 2-year-old boy grabbing Tru’s hands and making a rude face, which in the grand scheme of things is not the same as giving Tru a sucker punch in the nose. So I guess that doesn’t warrant me having the boy quartered and hung. And eaten by horses.

I carried Tru to a corner to calm him down. He looked like he was in shock and the whole time, he just grabbed my top and wouldn’t stop crying. I tried asking him to tell me what the boy did but he refused to. He was obviously still visibly shaken so I didn’t want to push it.

From experience, the length of his crying time usually correlates with how badly affected he is. Like a mild stub on the toe warrants 10 seconds max and a bleeding mouth about 5 minutes. I can’t say for sure because I didn’t see it but I’m fairly certain that the other kid did a lot more than stick his tongue out at Tru. But of course, I’ve got no proof of that so I had to find some.

For the rest of the hour, I shadowed the big brattish bully to see him shoving other kids, snatching toys, pulling another kid’s hair and smacking a boy on the side of his head. He was smart, though. Barely 3-years-old and he’s got the instinct of a predator. He only made his move on the isolated kids, the stragglers who left the pack and the runts of the group. He would sneak up on a kid who was holding a toy he wanted, yank it out of his hands and push him away, all in 3 seconds. The poor kid would be left crying and he would skip off happily to find another kid to terrorize. One boy tried to grab his toy back only to have his head smacked like a rag doll.

I knew this day would come but I didn’t think it’d be this soon so I just didn’t know how to react. By the end of my little investigative exercise, I was down to three options.

1. Flog the living crap out of the kid and burn him with a cigarette but I didn’t have a cigarette so he got lucky and I had to go with..

2. Talk to his parents. If it turned out that his parents were every bit as obnoxious as he was, then I would have to resort to..

3. Force feed him enough laxatives to have him make the toilet all day, every day for the next month.

Good thing for him, his mom seemed genuinely appalled that her kid was such a bully and she apologized profusely. Apparently, she claims that her kid is not like that at all at home so I’m guessing he’s either got multiple personalities or she’s not spending enough time with the kid. Either way, at least she knows now.

Have you ever had to deal with your kid getting bullied? Any tips on how to handle it?

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how i pretend to be a cool mum

Swashbuckling fun

September 7, 2010

For some reason, my kids really love playing pirates. Since the first pirate set my sister got for them from France, they’ve amassed all sorts of other pirate toys. Tru has this gruff, piratey voice whenever he’s in character and he goes “Truett pirate, aaarrgghh!”

This pirate book, which my mom got from Borders in Melbourne during her last trip, brings storytelling to a whole new level.

The storybook was ok (it got a little rambly at times), but the awesome part was that it came with lots of tiny little cut-out characters so you could reenact your own pirate story if you didn’t like the original one. I have a thing for paper cut-out characters, I’m nerdy that way.

Usually, I make do with telling them stories without any props but it was really fun to have all the pirate figures hold tiny swords and jump around while I made up crazy pirate tales for a change.

Well, maybe I had a lot more fun with it than the kids because halfway through, they got really bored from not being able to touch the fragile paper cut-outs and went on a rampage. One of my little pirate boys lost a leg in the process and I had to make them sit in their baby chairs while I told the story from 3-feet away.

Because it’s made of paper, the cut-outs are rather flimsy and they topple easily so usually by the time I set up all the characters in position, they either get blown away by the wind or trampled to death by my 2 Babyzillas. But hey, that gives a new twist to the story when I’m all out of plot ideas.

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coolest kids ever

Unorthodox parenting, anyone?

September 6, 2010

The past couple of times I brought the kids to this playground at my mom’s place, Tru was the only one that got to run and play. Kirsten usually spent her time in the stroller or in my arms or stuck on the lousy bench next to me, watching on with envy because she’s too small and not allowed to do all that dangerous climbing. Recently her protests have been getting increasingly vehement and she tries to break free at every opportunity.

Now that she’s walking steadily  on her own, I finally cut off those apron strings and set her free in playgroundland.

The moment I put her down, she started running for the slide, which is now her most favorite thing to do in the whole world. To her credit, she tackles the slide like a trooper, with both hands in the air and her eyes tightly closed for that extra adrenaline kick. Then when she hits the bottom, she points to the top of the slide and says “MORE, MORE” for the next 30-40 times.

Truett was all like “Kirsten, this is my turf, follow me, I’ll show you how it’s done” and obviously, Kirsten wanted to do EVERYTHING that her daredevil brother was doing, including climbing back up the slide from the bottom.

Then there was this merry-go-round contraption where the kids were supposed to sit on this tiny little seat and cling on for dear life while it spins around, going up and down at the same time. Next to it was a sign that clearly says For children 6 years old and above but you know how I take these age recommendations with a pinch of salt because my 2-year-old can pretty much do anything a 6-year-old can when it comes to playgrounds. He’s been on it for ages (without ever falling) and now baby girl wanted to join in as well.

So yes, I let my 1-year-old ride the scary-go-round meant for 6-year-olds all by her lonesome.

Some of the other parents watched on in horror as I pushed them around in the deathtrap amidst hysterical giggles and shouts of “FASTER, MOMMY, FASTER!” and I was about to succumb to peer pressure when one of the other moms brought her 18-month-old to join in the ride, which was awesome because finally there was someone else who shared my unorthodox methods of parenting. I smiled politely but secretly, I was all like “Woot, come on fist bump, sista, I like your style!”

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