stuff best described as not safe for parents

Sisters are something special

Before we had Truett and Kirsten, we had another kid – Joie. Well, sort of. We used to babysit her back when she was still a tiny baby and she’s the only under-12-year-old we still hang out with the most besides our own kids.

Now that she’s almost a teenager, it’s extra street cred that she considers us cool enough to be around. The kids obviously think that she’s cooler than Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk (and yes, they’ve seen MJ do the moonwalk on youtube – it’s part of their core home-schooling curriculum). So hopefully the cycle of coolness gives us enough cool points with the kids, because your own parents are always the opposite of cool, innit?

Kirsten is starting to realize how fun it is to have a big sister to do girly things with and has appointed Joie to be her big sister. Like “ok I choose you, Joie, you’re now my sister. ”

I think she doesn’t quite understand the whole giving birth process yet.

Recently, she’s been telling me that if I have another baby, it must be a girl. She says she only wants Hailey, not Travis. I told her I don’t have the necessary powers to control such things but she just stares at me blankly and says “I want Hailey, mommy. You go make, ok?”

Um, ok, sure sweetheart. Mommy will try.

PS. Just not right now.

PPS. Maybe in a year or two. Or even three.

unqualified parenting tips

The Intervention-Misdemeanor Chart

Consistency. One of those buzzwords that get thrown around in parenting circles.

As parents, we’re told to be consistent in the way we teach our kids lest their little brains implode from the weight of sheer confusion.

While I understand the need for a clearly defined set of guidelines from which we never deviate, implementing them is a whole other ball game. Mostly because kids are persistent little creatures and they will test your resolve 800 times a day.

Truett knows full well that he’s not allowed to hose my toilet with the spray, or flick his boogers at his sister, or charge into my ankles with his scooter at full speed, but he does them anyway. Multiple times. Just to see if there’s that one teensy weensy chance I’ll let it slide and he’ll get away with it.

Early on in the parenting game, I’ve discovered that even though I wholeheartedly agree with the consistency principle in theory, I’m incapable of actually putting it into practice.

Me: Tru, no snatching toys from Kirsten.

Tru: I’m trying to exchange with mei mei.

Me: Exchange requires you to give her something as a trade. Taking her stuff is not exchanging. Give it back.

*2 minutes later*

Kirsten: I DON’T WANT KOR KOR TO TAKE MY TOYS!!! *hypersonic banshee screeching*

Me: Tru, are you snatching from her again?

Tru: I just want to share toys with mei mei.

Me: Sharing means you give her some of your toys, not snatch hers. Give it back.

5 minutes later, he’s at it again but this time Kirsten didn’t protest. So I pretended not to have seen it. Yes, I know a more consistent parent would have swooped in to stop him because it’s about teaching the principle, not simply reacting to shrieks.

But in my parenting manual, this falls into the category of battles I don’t want to fight. If I had to police every single misdemeanor, I’d pull a Mrs Trunchbull and fling them by the hair like a sledgehammer.

Instead, I rely on this chart to help me determine the need for parental intervention.

I say forget consistency, I’m gunning for survival. And sanity.

growing up

Cloning procedure: complete

My mom was cleaning out her house recently and she found this.

That photo of me and my brother was taken 26 years ago (incidentally, our age gap is also 13 months).

And this is Tru and Kirsten now. Ok seriously, even the hair is exactly the same. Clones attack!