a spot of singapore, how i pretend to be a cool mum, i embarrass myself sometimes, stuff best described as not safe for parents

My lunch date with Dr Tony Tan

July 25, 2011

Last week was a bit of a whirlwind. There was the SG Blog Awards on Saturday and the day before that, I was invited to attend a lunch with Dr Tony Tan. And I’m not referring to my general practitioner who happens to share the same name as The Dr Tony Tan.

Apparently, I was there because I wrote this piece on the General Elections that went viral and almost 5,000 people liked it on Facebook. They said that according to several sources, I was some sort of a trailblazer in the online world in Singapore. So not making that up.

From the invite, the purpose of the lunch was to discuss how digital channels are transforming discourse and opinions locally and internationally. I had to read it many times because I have no idea what many of those words meant and the only transforming I’m good at has to do with Optimus Prime and his gang of Autobots. But then I couldn’t pass up a chance to get up close with The Dr Tony Tan, so I turned to my good friends, Google and Wikipedia for help.

I figured there’d be lots of important people there and I could sneak in behind to blend in with the wallpaper but when I reached, I was brought to a room with a round table and 12 chairs. 12 chairs. Plus, there wasn’t even wallpaper for me to do the blending with. Or there was, but I couldn’t be sure because I had a mild panic attack and things got a little fuzzy by then. It was a good thing I arrived 15 minutes early so I had plenty of time to sneak off to the bathroom to throw up a little.

And then people started arriving. People who were like the biggest shots in the digital media scene, all of whom I stalk on a regular basis. People like Alvin Lim, Ravi Philemon, Pat Law, Mr Miyagi, Cherian George, Alex Au, Mr Brown and Kien M Lee.

They all looked like they came from very important meetings so I tried my best not to look like I came from a very important diaper change. Next to the table with 12 seats was an important chart with names and designated seats, which meant that I couldn’t skulk away and pick the least conspicuous seat. Not that there is such a thing as an inconspicuous seat at a round table anyway.

During the lunch, I wrote a mental journal in my head so I’m just going to post excerpts from said journal.

I’m supposed to choose between salmon carpaccio and goose liver. I’m not a fan of liver but I’ve always been taught not to order food I can’t pronounce. Is it kar-pa-chio or ker-pay-chio? What is carpaccio anyway? I’m going to be the dork that makes a wrong order. I’m just going to say salmon and hope for the best. Oh wait, Alex said kar-pa-chio. Guess I was 50% right.

Dr Tony Tan has arrived. I’m so close I can actually touch The Hair. Must. Resist. Temptation. Now’s not a good time to get myself incarcerated.

Oh, oh, oh, round table introduction time. Now’s the perfect time to start panicking.

Why are there so many forks and knives? I should casually stall for time and pretend to drink my water so I can observe what the others are using. I knew I should have paid more attention when I googled fine dining cutlery. All these tiny forks are so confusing.

Did Dr Tan just direct a question at me? I think that’s why all these people are looking at me. I generally don’t throw my hands up and shriek but I think this is one of those moments in life when one is allowed to. OK THINK, WOMAN, THINK.

Crisis averted. They are now looking at someone else.

I’m fairly certain I didn’t silence my phone. There is no discreet way to do this with my bag on the floor. Maybe if I step on it hard enough, it will disable the ring function.

Why is it that everyone else here is insanely smart? They are all taking turns to say things that I don’t understand. Now I’m torn between nodding thoughtfully or raising a questioning eyebrow. They may just see right through too much nodding. I’ll go with the eyebrow to mix things up a bit.

I really need to pee but nobody is moving. Hopefully this violent shaking of my legs will make it go away.

I actually came prepared with a question but it has to do with Dr Tony Tan’s hair and Mr Brown beat me to it.

I think I made it out from the lunch unscathed. As a reward, I totally managed to score a photo with Dr Tony Tan. Which I’m going to frame up and hang in my living room.

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Tanks, everybody, tanks!

July 24, 2011

Happy weekend, all. Today’s a special Sunday edition because I’ve got some awesome news to update. I don’t really have a smartass way to say this so I’ll get right to it. Yesterday, the results of the Annual Singapore Blog Awards were announced and I came home with the Best Family Blog Award. Yayy!!

It was held at Shanghai Dolly, where everyone was all dressed up and very polished so I tried my best to not look goofy. Obviously not very successful.

Photo courtesy of Andy (www.sengkangbabies.blogspot.com)

Here’s a quick thank you to all the people who made this possible.

First, the kids, who gamely smiled (sometimes) and posed for every photo shoot. They’re the stars of the blog and without them, I’d still be a minion at a job I wasn’t very good at. Now at least I’m a minion at a job I love very much. They make my world spin and my days complete. Mommy loves you guys.

The husband, who’s my biggest fan and my best friend. These days, our date nights are spent behind our respective laptops with conversations that consist of monosyllabic grunts. I love that we can talk through the night and also sit together without talking through the night.

Every single one of you who drop by the blog and keep coming back. Your comments and support make me want to sit at the laptop at 3am in the morning to finish editing photos and write through every writer’s block.

Not forgetting all the other 9 finalists of the Best Family Blog category. It’s stressful going up against some of the best parenting blogs in the region and I had a great time meeting all the people whose blogs I spend so much time reading.

And finally, to OMY for putting it all together.

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A ho-cho ain’t no milo, yo!

July 22, 2011

My relationship with Milo goes back a long way, as is probably the case with every Singaporean. It seems like we all drank Milo at some point as a child, whether it was introduced by parents, grandparents or teachers. Remember the Milo van? It was always the highlight of every sports meet and I remember queueing up for many refills. For that, I blame those tiny paper cups – it’s like they were trying to make us come back for more.

It’s pretty much the one drink that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, especially on cold rainy afternoons. Sure, I mean, a hot chocolate is great and all, but it ain’t no Milo, that’s for sure.

I should probably also tell you that I make the most badass Milo Dinosaur you will ever taste, which involves precise measurements of different types of milk and enough Milo powder to give you a sugar OD. My dad used to only drink the Milo that I made and I would concoct mugs of my secret recipe Milo to store in the fridge at night. Only to find them mysteriously gone in the morning (Sarah, I’m looking at you).

When I was too busy to make my own Milo in NTU, my folks would buy me cartons of canned Milo to store in the fridge so I could just grab and go as I scrambled to make it to class on time. The husband came across my stash as he was raiding my fridge one day and he was all “eh, your father owns a Milo store is it?” True story.

At one point, it was the only beverage I drank with all my meals. We’d be out for dinner at the hawker centre and I’d do my most gung ho kopi aunty impression like “aunty, tak kiu peng gao” (which translates to iced Milo, extra thick). We go to mackers and I’d be all “McSpicy meal, change my drink to iced Milo, please.” We go for roti prata and and I’ll go “boss, Milo dinosaur satu.”

Until I began to feel the effects in my behind and had to switch some out to green tea instead.

If you’re a Milo fan, check out this video done by a couple of NTU students. A tad melodramatic but it’s a very impressive effort. I say this because back when I was doing my film module in NTU, our work was significantly um, less polished. We shot a 30-second horror flick where I was brutally murdered and my friend Chee Kong knocked my head against the door frame (twice) as he carried my dead body to a creepy grass patch lit by candles. I’m fairly certain that the footage has since self-destructed due to its appalling production quality but if I ever do find it, it’s going up on the blog.

Anyhow, this one is much better.

When you’re done, head on over to their Facebook page to read all the other Milo stories. Some of them are really good.

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