coolest kids ever, Videos I dig

Freeze Dance

October 14, 2011

Remember when you were a kid and you loved to do the Freeze Dance because it was so badass to freeze with your tongue sticking and your eyes rolled back into your head? Or like right now, you still do it when you’re driving alone in the car? And in the shower?

You don’t? Just me then.

We had to impart this tradition of freeze dancing to the kids because every kid needs to know how to freeze dance. I mean, hip hop? Meh, that’s so 2007. Freeze dancing is what all the cool kids are doing these days.

I made a video of the kids dancing to Move Like Jagger (I know, if I hear that song one more time my ears are going to bleed) and the husband was all “that’s a psychedelic video”. I think by psychedelic he means awesome because I’ve seen the man dance and let’s just say there’s a reason why neither of us goes dancing much at all.

Right, have a great weekend. I’m off to the doctor’s for Tru’s stitches removal. He’s the only kid I know who enjoys this sort of thing. He’s been looking forward to it all week and the first thing he said this morning was “Today I can go doctor to take out my stitches? YAYY!”

Now that’s psychedelic.

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stuff best described as not safe for parents, unqualified parenting tips

Dealing with bullies – the kids edition

October 13, 2011

Tru came back from school yesterday looking a little troubled. After some probing, he said that his *friend* called him stupid and pushed him.

Before I rained curses on the offending child, I tried asking Tru the context of the incident, like if he was the one who pushed the kid first or snatched his toy but he wouldn’t say.

So far, we haven’t really had to deal with the issue of bullying or dealing with mean kids. Apart from one or two incidents at the playground under my watchful eye, they’ve never had to deal with bullies on their own. I’m also well aware of the fact that kids will be kids and they do all kinds of batshitcrazy stuff all the time, even mine. Much as I teach the kids not to hit or bite or shove, they still do it to each other so I have no illusions that they’re perfect.

However, hearing that my kid got bullied in school and seeing him so troubled got me a little miffed.

Obviously, it was time for the bullying talk. The husband did a piece a while ago on how to deal with bullies but those things could only be done by an adult so now I’m coming up with a kids edition.

1. Tell the teacher. 

But we all know how this usually turns out. Without witnessing the actual incident, the teacher can only issue a lame command for the bully to stop. And he will pretend to stop – for five minutes – before resuming his bullying ways.

2. Ignore the kid.

It’s true that these kids thrive on attention so when they see that they’re not getting a response, they generally get bored and stop. However, this only applies to when you’re dealing with verbal abuse because it’s hard to ignore a fist to your lower jaw for extended periods.

3. Run away. 

There’s no shame in running away, like when you’re faced with a flesh-eating zombie or a hungry T-rex or a Dudley-sized bully. Except that in a confined space like a school, there’s only so far you can go before the bully catches up and whips your ass till you cry uncle.

4. Tell the kid to stop it. 

This is a long shot but one that must be attempted nonetheless. But really, if  the bully was someone that listened to reason, he probably wouldn’t be throwing his weight around and shoving kids randomly in the first place.

5. Stand up to the bully.

Well, this depends on how big the bully is. Let’s face it, my child is not Bruce Lee and he does not possess the necessary skills to beat a monster of a child to a pulp.

No, dealing with bullies requires more drastic action.

6. Direct bully to mommy.

When all else fails, there’s always the super secret back up plan, which is to point out the bully to mommy, who will taser him when no one is looking.

You’d think I’m kidding but I’m already shopping for tasers on ebay.

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growing up, kids inc, not feeling so supermom

Mommy services not required

October 11, 2011

The kids are officially at an age where they enjoy each other’s company. They are now able to understand instructions, communicate effectively and recognize that having a sibling is more fun than playing alone. Which is not to say that they don’t still scream and fight over stuff, but they are able to sit together for extended periods without any bloodshed.

Naturally, this has led to many heartwarming moments where we watch them with pride, feeling like we’ve done a pretty darn good job as parents because even though we suck at a lot of things, it is clear that WE MAKE THE AWESOMEST BABIES IN THE WORLD.

Just last weekend, the kids woke up at 7.30 and instead of harassing us like they normally do, they played a horse game on the mattress for a full half hour. If you must know, the horse game is where they take turns being a horse to give the other person a ride. Kirsten was mostly a stationary worm when it was her turn to be the horse but hey, whatever works for them. Totally not judging.

This afternoon, they were clocking in some playtime before their nap and they had this complicated lego setup in the nursery. I say setup but it was basically lego blocks strewn everywhere and they were apparently building a castle. Being the supercool, involved mom that I am, I was all “Kids, are you building something? Can mommy play too?”

I expected them to respond enthusiastically with a resounding “WOW YES! YOU’RE THE BEST MOM EVER” but they just sat there and completely ignored my presence or my offer to grace their game with my lego building prowess.

So I tried again. “Mommy’s really good at building stuff, want me to make a castle for you guys?”

My son then turned to me and said, “Truett and mei mei are playing, you cannot disturb.”

“Ok fine, be that way. Mommy’s just going to stand here and observe the mayhem.”

This time, Kirsten stood up and pointed to the door. “Mommy you go outside, you are not playing, you cannot stay here.”

Great, this is what it’s come down to. There was a time not too long ago when you were bugging me to play with you and now I’m banished out of the room.

My head says this should be good because it does translate into some much-deserved quiet coffee time but I think my mommy ego just took a beating.

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