I’m practically a shoo-in for the mother’s equivalent of a razzie

You know how baby girl is so unassuming? She’s a totally fuss-free baby, right from the day she was born. Doesn’t demand very much, except to have a full tummy and an empty diaper. Her 2 favoritest activities are watching us blitz around the house all day and talking to her best friend, Kiki (her favorite bear hanky from down under).

That’s all she needs to be happy, milk, diapers and Kiki.

It’s supposed to make my job as her mom is pretty simple. Just keep those three coming and I’ve got a happy camper on my hands. Here’s where I become the worst mom in the world. Yesterday, I lost Kiki during our trip to town. Somewhere amidst the madness of hauling 2 kids around in the blistering heat, Kiki fell out of the stroller and was never seen again. As far as Kirsten is concerned, I murdered her best friend. To say that she’s absolutely devastated is an understatement.

That bear is her entire life. It’s all I need to make her sleep. She’ll nuzzle her face into the bear and drift off to to dreamland on her own. Every morning, she spends a good half hour talking to the bear before she cries for milk. And now I’ve gone and destroyed her only friend in the world.

I totally understand because I used to have a best friend myself, albeit an imaginary one. Essentially the same thing. Her name was Pooky and we used to do everything together. Then one day, I found out that Pooky was also a profanity commonly used to refer to a part of the female anatomy. Which was also the day I decided to let her go. I realize it’s not quite the same thing as baby girl, but I feel her pain.

Since yesterday, baby girl has been unable to sleep and she’s lost all appetite. All she does is grab her head in agony and scream.

What’s worse than the worst mother in the world? Me, probably.

We’ve been searching the malls for the bear but I’m pretty sure she’s been trampled to death. Short of flying to Sydney to get a new one, it’s unlikely I’ll get it back. I’m going to have to spend the next week trying to convince her that Kiki has gone for a makeover and come back as another bear. Then if she takes to the new bear, I’m going out to buy another 10 more just in case.

Updated: I couldn’t find a bear so I got her a duck and stuck it in my bra for half a day. I went up 2 cup sizes and she totally bought it. WIN.