I’ve been thinking about it a lot – not having any more babies – and for the first time, it finally feels right. With the other kids, I always knew there’d be more babies on the horizon. My ovaries weren’t done. NEED MORE BABIES!
Last weekend, we were in the car on the way to church and I said to the husband, “You know babe, I think we’re done.” Without even missing a beat, he replied, “Are you talking about babies? Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.”
So that’s it. The end of babymaking where this babymaking factory is concerned. This uterus has done its job (a fine job too!) and it’s time to power things down for good.
Since I’m already oversharing here, let’s go all the way with this. Right up to the day when Theo was born, we were still open to the idea of #5 because come on, another girl would be so dorbs right? I know Kirsten would love to have a little sister to get her girly on with. While he was delivering my placenta, my OBGYN asked if I wanted a ligation since I was already pumped with epidural – two birds with one stone, that sort of thing. We were so close to going ahead with it but truth be told, right up to that point, we were still toying with the idea of a fifth kid. I know how insane it sounds, there I was in the labor ward just delivering a fourth baby and already contemplating a fifth, that’s how hardcore we are. To be fair, it was 85-15. We were 85% sure we were done but that 15% seemed huge and I was too hormonal too make life-changing decisions I might have a 15% chance of regretting.
2 months in with Theo, this 15% is down to 0. I’ve been spending a lot of time hanging out with my 4 babies and I’ve never been more sure that we’re done. It feels like all the missing pieces of the puzzle are now in place and our little family is complete. I look at these fab kids and I’m so jazzed that I get to be a part of this family of 6.
We have a good thing going here, I’m so grateful for it.
And it feels right to be moving on from making babies. My uterus just did a celebratory dance upon hearing the news. In a couple of months when baby Theo weans, my body will finally go back to just functioning for one human being. I’ll mark that day by knocking back 5 fully caffeinated lattes in a row. No more of this decaf nonsense.
But more importantly, we’ll get to properly enjoy these kids, to watch them grow up and have fun with them. Instead of operating at intense full battle mode all the time (so exhausting!), we’ll finally be able to take things down a few notches. There are so many things I miss doing – read a book, go for a leisurely brunch, eat food at a normal speed where I can actually taste them, binge on The Good Wife, go for concerts. One of these days we might even get to go crazy and sleep in till noon!!
It’s a little bittersweet to know that Theo will be my last baby but I’m feeling good about this. Does looking at this dreamboat baby change my mind? Not even a little. Maybe a little bit. SNAP OUT OF IT! Okayy no.
I guess this little guy is feeling good about it too. It’s the most fun being the baby of the family.
10 Comments
i nearly laugh out super loud in office reading this “My uterus just did a celebratory dance upon hearing the news.”
I feel u..i have 3..youngest is 15 months..i ever toyed wiht the idea of having 2 boys n 2 girls..that would be just perfect..but how would i know if its gg to be a girl..i normally get preggy when the kid is ard 15 mths based on historical trending..but i am so so over the having a baby in the family..giving away all baby toys and baby stuff for good…but my girl’s stash of clothes is still with me (its not for future baby but a sadness of giving away all the beautiful girls clothing i have )….there has to be an end to all things nice…and somehow we know when it happens .i cant wait for the youngest to be 2 ish..done with toilet training etc…and life will be so much easier …or not..coz the dreaded format education starts…congrats on your enlightenment..it was to me , an enlightenment!
Me too!! I gave away most of kirsten’s baby clothes but I kept a stash of her prettiest dresses just in case. I finally gave those away, as well as the newborn onesies that theo has outgrown. It was a big moment!
Funny that your post came up on my FB feed RIGHT AFTER I was sorta done googling articles on tubal ligation.
*high-fives fellow mom of 4*
i’ll high-five to that! :)
My uterus is done too! Only have two girls but my family feels complete. :) I have two friends who are having very difficult pregnancies now, so whilst mine have thankfully always been somewhat a breeze, I think age plays a part and I’ll not tax my body too much heh.
Lyn lee´s last post ..Passion for your job a must? Nah.
I hear you! And 2 girls are so cute. :)
Hi Daphne, I’ve always enjoy reading your post as I can relate to all of it (i’m a mother if 3) and somehow you remind me of the simple things that i take for granted (or dreaded!!) as a mother. Motherhood is the hardest job, but it’s the most rewarding as well. You should write a book or something!
Thanks Erika, that’s really sweet! And ditto on motherhood being the most rewarding job. It can get so crazy but we wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
Haha I loved reading this! I am pretty sure I am done with 3 kids too. Am really feeling the strain on my body, my sanity and my poor neglected marriage. There are days when I get sad about not having any more babies – it is very personal, isn’t it? – but I think it’s time I just focus on the three kids and enjoy them as they are.
Exactly!! I think it’s time to just dial it back and enjoy the kids that we already have. And yeahhh I need to bring back date night soon, just drop off the kids and go for a movie marathon.