You know what’s the one thing that I’m terrified of the most? Besides my extensive list of completely rational fears like being attacked by lizards, buried alive (because there is no way in a million years that I can punch my way out like Uma Thurman) and having my kids abducted by a kidnapping syndicate in Mumbai.
I’m talking about top of the list here, numero uno. It’s being redundant.
In the days of my youthful idealism, I was exactly like you. I wanted to change the world. I was planning to end world hunger or become obscenely rich selling a ton of useless stuff to people who probably wouldn’t need them just because I was that brilliant. Either one would have worked for me – I wasn’t picky about the details.
The truth is, being a mom doesn’t make it into the list of glamorous professions. I don’t care what they say on those overly-priced Hallmark cards on Mothers’ Day, nobody’s dream job is to be a poop-cleaning, booger-digging, frazzled, batshitcrazy chick up to her elbows in human excretions. Make no mistake, motherhood is noble and to sacrifice your own dreams for the kids is all great but it kind of sucks that 30 years down the road, all you get is “Congrats, none of your 3 kids turned out to be Hitler. Good for you!”
And really, that terrifies me.
Knowing that I spent my best years cooking vegetables (that nobody wants to touch with a ten-foot pole), washing tiny onesies and cleaning up spilt cereal for the fifth time in a day. Alright, the kids will have a decent shot at a happy childhood and they may grow up to be Nobel prize-winning physicists, rockstars and Supreme Court judges, but then again, they may just as well end up as a struggling artist or a troubled delinquent.
So I’ll come out and say it. I don’t just want gratitude, it’s overrated. I want the kids to grow up knowing that their mom was brilliant, and not at folding laundry. I want them to be proud of me, to go to school and brag about how their mom wrote the new vampire series that outsold Stephenie Meyer. Something like that. I want them to know that there is no excuse for not going after their dreams, no matter how tough life gets.
I’m starting to think that being a mom doesn’t have to make you redundant. Its easy to get swamped by the responsibilities of having to care for tiny human beings and lose yourself in the process but come on, there’s got to be more than getting a pat on the back and a fugly Mothers’ Day card. (except yours, kids, they’re lovely)
Maybe we can still change the world. And even if I don’t, I will sure as hell try.
10 Comments
sounds like you’ve got plans in the pipeline ;)
strawberrymilkmama´s last post ..And they say I swear like a sailor
@strawberrymilkmama,I’m not sure if what I’m doing is changing the world but I sure hope it changes my world at least.
Woot, I’m profound like that.
Yeah, agree with Strawberrymilkmama.
Nevertheless, I always feel working mum life is tougher.
Anyway, coincidentally, Ing, (I am sure you read her blog and she will get to read here too.) wrote something similar too.
I don’t believe that if you are a working mum, your kids will be at a disadvantage or turn out to be delinquents! Likewise, if you’re a SAHM, it doesn’t guarantee that your kids will become better adults. <<< Totally agree with her.
If you plan to work, I definitely do look forward how you survive being a working mum too!!!
sunflower´s last post ..Sorting Out All Yvette’s Art Work
@sunflower, Yes I do know Ing. She’s just became a SAHM recently and got preggers too!
I suppose I kinda can be considered a working mum? My hours are from 10p.m – 2a.m. Its been killer though.
Well, your kids can say they have a cool mommy who blogs! ;)
Motherhood can be a thankless job, but it depends on who you are looking for to thank ya. I am sure your kids love you to bits for your love and sacrifices. (and if they ever forget, they can always read this blog next time to remind them!)
San´s last post ..So here I am- with my nose half-falling off…
@San, you know how our parents used to go “aiyo, you don’t know the sacrifices we’ve made for you.” and we’ll be all like “yah, WHAT exactly are those sacrifices?”
Now they have no excuses. I have date and time of occurrence and lately, pictures too!
Being a full-time mother for the first few years of the kids’ lives is one of the most important roles on Earth. There are many options to work from home, flexi-hours or part-time while tending to the kids most of the time. All the way, Super Mum! :)
MieVee @ MummysReviews.com´s last post ..5 Ways to Survive When SAHM Seriously Needs an MC
@MieVee @ MummysReviews.com, Supermom, who, me? No way. Supper mom maybe, haha.
By the way, great read on your link to your blog!
Can totally understand how u feel, cos that’s how I felt when I was into year 1 of being a SAHM. I can’t see myself doing the same thing for the next 10 years and then be this resentful mom who is not getting enough gratitude from the kids for making this sacrifice. In the first place, I try not to see this as a sacrifice, but rather something I know it will be worthwhile doing, regardless of whether I get appreciated by my kids. It is also a good time for you to start thinking about pursuing your passions…working full time does make u less of a risk taker when it comes to pursuing dreams. It did that to me anyhow.
Rachel´s last post ..Only start to appreciate it…
@Rachel, Exactly, I don’t want to be the irritating kind of parent that goes on and on about the “endless sacrifices we’ve made for the kids.” I just want to have fun, along the way.
On the note about risk taking, pursuing your passions. I would NEVER had thought about starting this blog if I didn’t quit my job. Now I get to connect with mommies all around,
it’s like a whole new world, and I’m loving it.