Looking back to look forward

It’s New Year’s Eve, the one time I allow myself to look back on the year with fondness and regret. To over-analyze the decisions I made, to pat myself of the back for the glorious victories and cringe while reliving the sucky ones. I actually really like the idea of new years. To be able to close a chapter every 12 months and whether it was good or bad, turn the page and start a new one.

2011 was the year I found myself again. For the first time in 3 years, my life was not chopped up and divided between the kids, with the leftover scraps going to all the other responsibilities that clamored for my attention.

This year, the kids grew up just enough to take the pressure off a little. They learnt to depend on each other for entertainment and I stopped feeling like I was living on the edge for every minute of every day. Heck, I even found the time to go for coffee in the morning, have high tea with girl friends, rediscover my love for movies and even read actual grown up books with tiny words and too many pages. Who’s with me in feeling like if you had to read another page of “This is Peter, This is Jane”, your brains would melt into your ears and disappear from your head because it got upset at all the abuse it was taking.

In short, it’s the year I’ve enjoyed motherhood the most.

It’s also been a year of unexpected but awesome surprises. We went to Disney World, Orlando for the Disney SM Mom’s 2011 Conference, went to Melbourne with the kids, won the Best Family Blog at the Singapore Blog Awards, made it to the finals for Nuffnang Asia Pacific Blog Awards and the 2011 Bloggies, had lunch with the President, launched a business just so I could call myself The Boss and the most awesome of all, sent the kids off to school. I totally got my ass whipped by home-schooling and the best decision I made was to cut my losses and let school take over the schooling. Everybody wins.

The beautiful thing about the start of every new year is that it always brings hope. It could very well turn out to be the worst year of our lives but until that happens, there’s always hope that it could be the very best one yet. So c’mon, blow the dust off from your bucket list and at least attempt one. If you don’t have a bucket list, it’s probably a good time to get one started.

Do something for yourself. Do something for someone else. Do something that scares the crap out of you. Do something that everyone else thought you couldn’t do. Do something you’ll remember when the next new year rolls around. Feel alive. Love fervently. Laugh till you can’t breathe. Be furiously happy.

See you in 2012.