lists you should paste on your fridge, unqualified parenting tips

Golden nuggets of parenting wisdom or utterly useless information. Same thing.

1. Whenever I ask Kirsten to turn around, she always turns a full 360 degrees to land in the same spot. When she turns around, she turns A ROUND.

2. To the kids, every type of meat is called chicken. Fish is chicken, pork is chicken and chicken is chicken. Good thing they love chicken.

3. According to Truett, only horses and cows eat green vegetables. What does Truett eat? Gummies.

4. Something special is code for chips, chocolate, popcorn or candy. Gummies aren’t considered something special because they’re supposed to get them everyday.

5. Kirsten knows the right names for all the body parts except for belly button, which is called ORT. Because whenever she digs momma’s belly button, momma always goes OUCH.

6. The kids unanimously go “UNCLE!! What are you doing??” with vigorous hand gestures every time I have to jam the brakes while driving. I’m not saying who they learnt it from.

7. When Tru is supposed to eat vegetables, he falls mysteriously ill and “needs to vomit”. When it’s time for ice-cream, he’s miraculously not coughing or vomiting.

8. Poop always happens at the most inconvenient moments. Like the time baby girl pooped in her swimsuit while swimming and it was all stuck around her thighs and bum.

9. Telling them not to do stuff is basically saying “kids, this is more fun than riding a unicorn while feasting on gummies; you want to do this if it’s the last thing you do”.

10. They are more likely to do something if I can somehow manage to con one kid into doing it. “See, korkor/meimei is doing this” is extremely effective.

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10 Comments

  • Reply Audrey January 20, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    Oh my goodness, this is HILARIOUS! :P By No.6 i was laughing so so hard…. your totally useless information is very useful for stress relief!

  • Reply Jus January 20, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    HAHAHA… this really is funny! Number 6 reminds me, I better tell the hubby to tone down when he’s driving with the boy at the back. :p
    Jus´s last post ..Thankful Tuesdays- What keeps me going

    • Reply Daphne January 25, 2011 at 1:07 am

      Hahaha um except in my case, usually the husband has to tell me to tone it down. Depending on gender, the kids have also picked up “AH SOH!! What are you doing?”

      In general, all bad male drivers = uncle and all bad female drivers = ah soh

  • Reply alexis January 20, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    hilarious!!!! stress relieve.

  • Reply San January 21, 2011 at 10:11 am

    I totally agree with the list, especially #10. Cos I’m so guilty of that as well. Guess if Jay succumbs to peer pressure later on in life, I know where it originated from. :P
    San´s last post ..Homecoming … Heartwarming and rib-tickling!

    • Reply Daphne January 25, 2011 at 1:09 am

      It’ll get a lot more effective when your little one comes along!

  • Reply Jasopheleb January 21, 2011 at 11:40 am

    Oh no wonder Caleb goes “Ah-ken” (chicken) to pork, duck and fish… Hmmm interesting!

    • Reply Daphne January 25, 2011 at 1:09 am

      yeah, chicken is like universal meat for kids.

  • Reply Jillian January 21, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    Too funny! For Ally, Beef is just meat, you cannot convince her otherwise that it does indeed have another name. And yes, #10 is extremely effective in our household as well

    • Reply Daphne January 25, 2011 at 1:13 am

      So cute! Oh, and kirsten refuses to eat duck meat, she looked absolutely horrified when I tried to give her duck because she’s got this precious duck blankie that she loves to bits.

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