Unlimited Power

Question: Why do guys always resort to brute force to solve a problem?

I have a theory. It’s all thanks to He-man and Conan the Barbarian. Notice that all the male-oriented cartoons all feature muscular alpha-males that have bulging biceps and tiny underpants.

In recent years, the metrosexual male has taken over, but despite their floppy hair and chiseled, feminine features, they still can’t escape their roots, which is to grunt and shout (i.e. the louder, the more powerful) while displaying their special powers.

In the world of men, there’s always a BAD GUY to destroy and life would not be complete if we all lived in peace and harmony.

So it’s inevitable. Boys grow up with the misconception that brute strength is synonymous with masculinity. Tru is already showing signs of it at 10 months. His favorite past-time is banging stuff in the house. Like when I put him in his cot, he’ll have to bang the wardrobe and SHOUT AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS for a good half hour before he’ll settle down to sleep. It’s a manly pre-sleeping ritual he’s acquired.

Or he will grab a toy in each hand and smash them together repeatedly (with an evil grin) to get that loud smashing sound. He’s drawn to the sound of destruction. I think it’s a very primal instinct. I should stop buying toys and just give him two bottles to pound.

I’m thankful girls don’t have that problem. We are peaceable creatures and we like to avoid strife where possible. We’d be happy to hold hands and dance around the campfire before braiding each other’s hair and giggling ourselves silly. There are no evil forces in Strawberry Shortcake and life is beautiful all the time. It’s practically utopia all year long and we can prance around smelling roses and eating strawberries.

I’m hoping Kirsten will bring order to the house after she’s born. There’s too much testosterone in the air as it is.