Look mommy, there are balls in my knees

I had a whole amazing blog post idea for today but then I’m bringing the kids to the Botanics for a walk instead so I’m totally going to phone it in and repeat some of the conversations I’ve had with the kids in recent days. So it’s like they’re earning their little field trip by doing my work for me and we all win.

Also, it will be very useful material for my speech on their wedding day. Yes, I’m already preparing my speech for when my kids get married, I’m efficient like that. It will be equally awesome and embarrassing.

***

Kirsten: Mommy, what you doing?

Me: I’m trying to sleep. No more talking, sweetheart.

Kirsten: Ok.

*pause*

Kirsten: Goodnight Jesus. Mommy, I say goodnight to Jesus.

Me: Jesus says goodnight too. Ok go to sleep.

***

Tru: Mei mei don’t jump, you’re stepping on my balls.

Me: what??? do you even know what are balls? where are these balls that you speak of?

Tru: Here. *points to his knees*

***

Tru: I need to sleep on mommy’s bed because there’s an octopus.

Me: Right. Where is it? I’ll ask daddy to catch it.

Tru: Daddy cannot catch it. When mommy go bathe, the octopus will come out.

Me: So it’s hiding?

Tru: Yes it’s hiding. And I don’t like the octopus.

Me: Ok fair enough, I don’t like hiding octopuses too.

***

Kirsten: Mommy we need to take bus?

Me: Yes baby, we’re taking the bus today.

Kirsten: Mommy you got no car?

Tru: Mommy needs to work then got car.

Me: So should mommy go to work?

Tru: No. I like to sit on the bus.

***

Tru: Mommy I need to go poo poo toilet bowl.

Me: Just give me 2 minutes, Kirsten is falling asleep.

Tru: I need to go now. If not I will poo poo on my training pants and it will drop on the floor. I cannot let the poo poo drop on the floor.

Me: *sigh* I know you’re not actually urgent enough to poop on the floor but for the convincing argument, I’ll take you now.