Hey 2019!

January 1, 2019

It’s 2019 and there are a lot of changes happening around here. Good ones!

Finn is off to Primary 1 and I’m so proud of him like a proud mama bear. He was so excited to start the first day of school with Kirsten in a proper big kid school with homework and everything! In preparing him for Primary school, the big kids were all “it’s a sad life – you need to do a lot of learning and homework and there’s very little time left to play” and Finn was his usual sweet, positive self like “I don’t mind learning and homework.”

It’s true, he’s the only kid who says “thanks, mom!” when I buy him assessment books and then does them like it’s nbd. We picked up a fresh batch of assessment books at Popular last week and the big kids acted like I was buying them a basket of live rattlesnakes, like “PLEASE, NOOOO!!!! MY LIFE IS OVER!!”

Just look at this adorable serious face on the first day of school.

He woke up at 6.30am on day one and the whole time, he had on his serious face for when he needs to focus on something really important.

When they got to school, Kirsten said, “follow me, Finn, I’ll bring you around” and he finally smiled. It must be nice to have a big sister watch out for you when you’re starting a huge new chapter in your life.

After a year and a half on the waitlist, Tru still couldn’t get a spot in Kirsten’s school, so he decided to go for the next best option and transfer to the school further down the street. It’s a slightly longer walk but it beats having to take the school bus back to Tampines at 6.05 every morning.

He considered this for a long time, not wanting to say bye to all his friends and teachers from Gongshang Primary but it was a brutal commute, plus he had to loiter around in school for an hour while waiting for the return school bus after remedial classes several times a week.

He’s a good kid – he made a list of all the pros and cons and at the top of the pro list, he put <mom gets to save $240 in bus fare every month> right at the top, followed by <wake up at 6.45 instead of 5.45>. The cons list was much longer, but he still decided to go ahead with the transfer because “it’s the smartest thing to do“. 11 years old and already killing it at decision making skills.

Also after a year and a half on the waitlist, Theo finally got a spot in the preschool right next to our home. The waitlist for this was in the hundreds and it was a small miracle that he got a spot. There was no pros and cons list to be made because Theo doesn’t care for such lists in the same way he doesn’t care for going to school at all.

If it was up to him, he would spend his days hanging out with me and Hayley. He tried to make a case for it too. “I’ll miss you so much, mom…and Hayley will have someone to play with…I’m only 5, I can learn all the stuff at home anyway, don’t you want to spend time with me before I go to Primary school like kor kor Finn?”

I’ll admit, that last part got me and I genuinely considered it for a moment because watching Finn go off to Primary school had me all emotional but then I snapped out of it because I suddenly realised what I was considering. Homeschooling??!! Some people possess the temperament required to homeschool a child. I do not. Homeschooling would eat me for breakfast and I wouldn’t last a week.

Theo was really sad the first day and that’s all it took for him to adjust. This morning, he considered bursting into tears again but he looked at his fun new school and his new friends and his lovely teacher (who happens to be Truett’s teacher at Starlearners 7 years ago!) and decided that all that fuss wasn’t worth the effort so he said bye and went in to class.

I really like new years. It always feels like a pause and a fresh start. We get to look back on the previous year and celebrate the things that were great about it. The not so good parts, we get to give it another go; do it differently and hopefully have it turn out a little better.

2018 had all of these parts. There were some pretty spectacular ones that will make it straight to the Epic Moments To Remember list. We did Melbourne with 5 kids. Iceland with 3 kids. New York with no kids.

There were a lot of the average moments that turned into surprisingly great ones. All of the baby cuddles, the hilarious conversation I got to have with the kids, the long bus rides and spontaneous park outings and just being there to watch them grow up. I feel like I grew as a mom this year. Being a mom stopped being so hard now that the kids are bigger. I’ve always told myself to enjoy the journey but this year was the first time I honestly took that advice and savoured the moments. Even when I go out alone with 5 kids, it’s easy these days.

I saw a mom at the store a few days ago bouncing a fussy infant strapped in a carrier, holding a toddler in one hand and bags of groceries in the other and I immediately got severe PTSD. I think it was her eyes. She looked so exhausted, like all the life had been sucked out of her and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I remember exactly how that feels and I wanted to give her a hug and tell her that it will get better.

2018 was also the first year I’ve managed to stick to my Get Fit goals. I’ve done my workout videos 5-6 days a week for about 9 months and developed all kinds of cool new muscles. I also feel stronger, possibly even more than I did at 16 playing basketball for the school team. I still draw the line at putting kale or quinoa into my mouth but there’s progress.

There were a whole bunch of not so great moments in 2018 too. Some were really not great at all and I’d much prefer to not have them ever again. If I could, I’d totally erase these moments from the year so I’d only be left with the good ones. But I think my life is supposed to be made up of all of these moments like one of those pictures that’s made up of a thousand smaller pictures. I mean, maybe a good life isn’t one that’s made up of only good moments because there are all of these other moments that are kind of sweet and funny and mediocre and sometimes sad that make up a really rad bigger picture and when you put all of them together and do a dramatic slow zoom out, you might just like what you see.