2020, you guys!

January 8, 2020

A little late, but happy new year!! I’m excited about 2020.

We were away for almost all of December last year (more on that!) and in the midst of the mayhem that comes with traveling with 5 kids, I got some time to think about my life up to this point and what I wanted it to look like in the next 10 years. 2019 was wonderful but also hard and there were days where I felt like I was failing at too many things.

I can see myself approaching a version of midlife crisis and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’ve done all the predictable things people do in their late 30s – exercise, eat better, worry about health, question things, make plans and then question those plans, try to figure out what’s really important in my life. I’ve been feeling like I need to do more with my time and be more intentional with my decisions.

In my 20s, I had all the time in the world to discover myself, take detours, go on adventures. At 37, time feels like it’s running away from me and my years are gaining speed. Meanwhile, my list of things to do is somehow getting longer.

This year, Truett will be preparing for his PSLE, which also means that I’ll be preparing for his PSLE. After gathering information from other parents who have gone through this ordeal, I’ve decided that my approach will be one of moral support and encouragement, mostly in the form of “YOU CAN DO THIS, TRU!! Now go do your 10-year series.” Actually, I’ve prepared several deeply moving and motivational pep talks, which I intend to deliver to my son at opportune times throughout the year. He doesn’t enjoy them, but I do.

Kisten and Finn will be continuing in their Primary school journey and they appreciate the respite that Tru’s upcoming PSLE will bring them. “Uh mom, I think you can focus on kor kor, kthxbye.”

Theo is very much enjoying his last year of preschool. He has the benefit of seeing his older siblings having to deal with the pain that is homework and 听写 and assessment books and is all gleeful like “wah, this is so relaxing, I can play games and go swimming and hang out at the playground while the rest are busy with their hard work.” In return, the big kids sing to him their favourite line from Hamilton. “Just you wait…just you wait…”

And baby Hayley? Can you believe that this baby will be 4 this year? I’m in severe denial about this. If all goes well, she will be starting school this year once a spot opens up for her. She’s on an immediately enrolment standby list and I’m told that it could be as soon as next week or several months. Hayley is hoping the waitlist never clears because she will be “so sad if she doesn’t get to be near me at all times.” Her baby eyes fill up with tears whenever she considers not being within touching distance of my being every moment of every day.

I get the separation anxiety because I feel it too. One of my favourite parts of 2019 was spending my mornings with this last baby alone. I’ll miss our morning walks and long chats over breakfast and I know that she has to grow up sometime, I just wish it wasn’t so soon.