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Truett goes to school

i embarrass myself sometimes, Kidspeak, Truett goes to school, unqualified parenting tips

Yo Momma got street cred

August 18, 2010

Apparently, I’ve earned quite a rep with Tru’s teachers in school, as I just found out today. I like to think it ups my street cred, like how you’re supposed to become badass after spending a week in prison but I suspect they’re using me as a cautionary tale for other parents during some of their parent-teacher sessions.

Rain, rain go away

Tru was learning about the weather in school this week and today was all about rain.

Teacher: Kids, what do we do when it rains?

Kid 1: Take umbrella!

Teacher: Good. Anything else?

Kid 2: Raincoat!

Teacher: That’s right, we wear our raincoats.

Tru: RUNNNNN!!!

Teacher: Run?

Tru: Run so fast! Raining, mommy carry and run!

In my defense, that’s only my strategy when it’s drizzling. With one kid in each hand, I got nothing left to carry a brolly even if I wanted to, and besides, umbrellas are for sissies and 50-year-old ladies. I tried grabbing it with my teeth once and Kirsten almost lost an eye in the fallout. When it’s pouring, I make strangers ferry us with their umbrellas by playing the frazzled-mom-with-2-babies card. It works all the time. I would also like to point out that I have flip-flops with surprisingly good traction, which is the key to not falling and breaking open your skull. You’re welcome.

Breakfast of champions

A couple of weeks ago, it was breakfast week, or food week or healthy eating week and the kids were learning about healthy options for a balanced diet. Obviously, I have no concept of proper nutrition, seeing that I survived on instant noodles, burgers and fries for almost the entire first year of my university life.

Teacher: What do you eat for breakfast?

Other kids: Cereal, bread, noodles, milk, pancakes, waffles, apple, sausage…

Teacher: Excellent, children! Those are all very good breakfast options

Tru: Eat gummies. So many gummies (complete with hand gesture)

Teacher: *uncomfortable silence* Ok, we must always eat gummies in moderation, that means not too much at once.

Tru does have a normal breakfast, right after his morning vitamin gummy (which I chop up into tiny pieces so it seems like a lot) because it’s the first thing he starts to harass me for the moment the opens his eyes. And the chopping into tiny pieces works because I have 1 piece for every time he goes “gimme more gummies” and by the time I’m all out, he feels like he’s eaten loads of gummies.

Birds and the bees

Then there was clothes week, where the kids learn about the different types of clothes you wear for different occasions. They learnt about how you should wear a uniform to school and a pretty dress to a party.

Teacher: Children, what do you wear to sleep?

Kids (in unison): PYJAMAS!

Tru: Pa…pa…pagina!

Remember how I was teaching Tru the proper words for the different parts of the human anatomy? Penis, he pronounces very well. Vagina, not so much. He calls it pagina, which gets him confused with pyjamas. And this, total badass.

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lists you should paste on your fridge, Truett goes to school

School Shopping 2.0

April 29, 2010

Speaking of learning, we’re on the hunt for schools again. The last time we did it was stressful to say the least. I called up every childcare centre near my place and visited quite a few until we finally found Emmanuel Playgroup, where Tru is attending now.

It fit everything we were looking for. They took Tru in at 18 months, which is admittedly a little young to start going to school (most places start at 24 months), but the great thing is that it doesn’t feel like an institution. The classes are small and cosy. The teachers are friendly and warm and awesome with kids. Plus, they really adore the kids, which in my books, is the most important thing I’m looking for.

Tru’s loving going to school, and he comes home with stories about his raisin adventure with Aunty Shirley. It would also be the perfect place to start Kirsten, who turns 18 months next Jan.

Thing is, they’re not going to continue the playgroup next year, so we’re back to school shopping again. This time, I’m starting early because some places have a waiting list for almost an entire year. It’s not fun to be desperately knocking on doors in December.

First off, here’s what we’re looking for.

1. Something for the 18-month old

Lots of the places I called only take in kids who are at least 2. Kirsten now looks on longingly as we drop Tru off at school every morning, wondering about all the fun that goes on beyond the bright red door and colorful walkway. And how incredible would it be to finally have 3 hours ALL TO MYSELF every morning? I’m already making a list of all the things I could do, like roller blading at East Coast, spa sessions, morning movies where I’ll be the only one in the whole cinema, real shopping…

2. Teachers that care

During the orientation tour, it’s hard to tell if the teachers are just doing it as job. Most of them will at least try to look like they care. So I get Tru to have a complete meltdown halfway through the tour just to see how they react. Some look genuinely appalled, others make a hasty getaway and then we find those that remain unfazed as they whip out a raisin to calm him down while proceeding with the tour. Also, I like to drop by when a class is in session to see how they interact with the other kids.

3. Decent enough environment

Ambience counts for a lot, actually. Kids seem to have an instinct for nicely decorated places. Ideally, there should be bright colors everywhere, with a place for water play and sand play. Tru’s only criteria is a nice playground (generally, the bigger, the better). He sees a playground and he goes ballistic because it’s his happy place. Which means I will make sure I find him a very happy place, if it’s the last thing I do.

4. Reasonable distance from my place

I don’t need to find a place at my doorstep but I’d prefer not to travel halfway across town just to drop them off at school. I’ve found some really great places but they are a good 30 minute drive away and coupled with morning traffic, I’d end up spending a lot of time in the car. I could perhaps go for somewhere near the husband’s office since I do drop him off in the morning so that would probably give me more options.

5. Not too pricey

If I just had one kid, I might even consider selling a kidney to fund his education (that’s how awesome of a mom I am), but with two kids, I can’t possibly sell both my kidneys. I hear that you need at least one to survive. And if I eventually have another two kids like I plan to do, I’d have no more organs left by the time I’m 35. Not a good plan at all.

There are several other things on our list but they’re not dealbreakers. Like how it would be nice to find a Christian place so that they learn to say grace and sing Jesus loves me. But we can teach them all that at home so it’s not that big a deal.

If you have any places to recommend, I would be much obliged. Then I can also buy you a cup of coffee and we can chill out while waiting for our kids to finish school. You can also drop me an email if you’re shy.

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Truett goes to school

School shopping, less fun than you think

December 14, 2009

Tru’s going to be starting school in January and he’s really excited. It’s more like a 3-hour playgroup every morning where he gets to dole out free hugs to more kids and do fun stuff like building sandcastles and water fights play. It hardly constitutes as school but he’ll be wearing a real uniform and carrying a lunchbox like a big boy.

In an education-obsessed society that we’re in, school shopping is possibly one of the most harrowing experiences parents have to go through. The top schools have a waiting list up to 2 years in advance so that means the really hardcore parents have to register as soon as the child is born. That’s just insane. With all the responsibilities of a new baby, picking a school did not seem like a priority.

Plus, I did my primary school education in Ping Yi Primary, where the boy next to me crapped in his pants and spat on us every other week right up till he was 12. It’s one of the merits of public education. It’s so awesome that the school no longer exists today because I’m pretty sure the non-existence of crap on the floor is kind of like a prerequisite for enrollment.

Principal: At our school, we treat every student like he has the potential to be the next Prime Minister or world class surgeon. We have a dedicated staff of teachers…

Parent: Is it me or does it smell funky in here? OMG is that a piece of crap on the floor?

And another one bites the dust.

But then again, I still turned out ok.

In any case, we weren’t planning to enroll him till he was 3 or 4 so it’s not like we were really looking. But it was like a stroke of genius one afternoon. We always knew that Tru was too advanced for his age and he always seemed thrilled to be around other kids. Being cooped up at home cramped his style and he was a natural at socializing and falling into formation. It was like he actually enjoyed being ordered around and following what other kids were doing. It doesn’t work when I order him around, but when other kids are following instructions, he thinks it’s a game and does the same.

Of course, it’s great for me too, because it’ll give me 3 hours of uninterrupted time alone with baby girl.

So began the search for the perfect playschool. It was harder than we thought. My checklist was extensive, to say the least. The teachers had to be good with kids, well-spoken (none of that li-ber-ry, ter-ri-ber nonsense), fun and firm without being militant. The environment had to be bright and happy. The curriculum had to be well-planned. The location had to be convenient. The kids not too brattish. And so on.

We finally found the school we were looking for and Tru took to it immediately. During the visit, he was beaming the whole time. We spoke to the teachers and we knew it was everything we were looking for. Then they told us that it was full and they wouldn’t be able to take him in next year. After 2 months of waiting, we finally got news that Tru got a place and we celebrated like he was accepted into Harvard.

Next step, actually getting him into Harvard.

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