Theo

Hey, guess which little studmuffin decided to be a big boy and grow teeth?

Okay, one tooth. Not even a full tooth. It’s like one-tenth of a tooth, so tiny you can barely see it, but I know for certain that it’s there.

You know how I know?

This baby has grown decidedly impatient with his milk drinking these days. On an average day, it takes about 15 seconds for let down to happen, and 15 seconds is a long time for a hungry baby to be sucking without anything to show for it, so he’s taken to chomping down really hard and yanking to make the milk come out faster. 5 seconds in and no milk, he’ll bite down with his one little tooth and shake his head violently from side to side like a pitbull with a frisbee. I can see how this might possibly work on a bottle teat with no feelings, but on a human teat with many feelings, it is a very special kind of pain that I don’t recommend to anyone ever.

You know how when you were a kid and you had strange, irrational fears like your nipple is falling off? (no? that’s just me then.) Presently, this nipple-falling-out situation has become a very real and distinct possibility. Full circle, y’all.

Although I’m just glad he’s still latching on, so I’m going to power through this minor inconvenience and hope I come out of this with boobs all intact. When we were away for 3 weeks, he had to adjust to the bottle and he did such a good job adjusting that when I got back, he was all vomit faces and boob rejection (again!). I’m no stranger to boob rejection. In fact, you can say that I’m getting really good at having my adorable tiny humans not like my boobs. It’s ok, I don’t take it personally anymore. It took a few days of subtle persuasion – me casually offering my delicious milk like it’s no big deal while he stuck out his tongue and made rude faces.

Me: Want some milk? Momma’s got yummy milk for you. Just try a little?

Theo: *scream*

Me: Is that maybe like a One Direction fangirl kind of scream? I’d totally be into that.

Theo: *scream + rude faces*

Me: Probably not.

Theo: *screammmmm*

Me: That’s ok, maybe later then.

We’re good now though, and we’ve got our mojo back (except for the tooth vs. boob showdown we’ve got going on). Yay to subtlety.

I guess I’m ok if he takes his time with the tooth growing developmental milestone. If it’s up to me, I’d be happy with a toothless one-year-old. One can never have too many gummy grins, is what I always say.

We made it to 6 months!

I was just reading the posts I wrote 6 months ago, remembering how I was wishing so badly that we could fast-forward these difficult months so we could just quickly get to the good parts.

Now here we are and I’m glad we got through it at normal speed because those were the good parts. Look at that face! That’s one heck of a good part right there. Smooshed up with all the sleep deprived let-me-die-right-now moments were some of the sweetest, most heart-melting parts. I think that’s what makes it all so worth it, because life with a newborn is so hard and you give up so much for the baby and you’re bracing yourself to take the hit but then up pops these unexpected moments of flat out awesome and you just have to learn to bask in those moments.

This baby has been such a joy to have and I would not have missed the past 6 months for anything in the world.

Happy 6 months, baby Theo!

January has been a great month for learning new things. First, eating, then sitting and then yesterday, baby Theo picked up another brand new skill, flipping. This kid is totally on a roll.

He’ll be turning 6 months next week and it’s like he just decided he’s had enough of being a helpless little baby. For almost 6 months, he’s been sitting on the sidelines watching his siblings partake in all manner of fun activities and I think he’s feeling a little left out.

Lesson in mobility step 1: Doing the flip.

Today, I will flip.

I said…today, I will FLIP!

No? Ok, flipping is way harder than it looks. 4 seconds of this and I need a break already.

Ooommphh. Head. Too. Heavy.

Hang on, this is not working. Let me contemplate how we should do this.

Cooperate, head!! You are not making this easy.

*battle roar* TODAY, I WILL FLIP!!!

Oh, oh, oh, I’m doing it!

I did it! I did it! I did it! I flipped!!!

Did you see me, momma? Did you see me do it??

***

Yes, I most certainly did. :) This little pumpkin is so amazeballs I could have him for breakfast.

I just found out that baby mugging is a thing – so late to the party, I know! Babies + Mugs!! Oh internet, this is why I love you.

You know I had to do this, right?

***

Once upon a time, there was a genie. But instead of a magic lamp, he was stuck in a mug.

3000 years in slumber and I wake up to this?? Urgh.

Okay, you may have 3 wishes, you know the drill. Ready, go.

Um, hang on, you wish for WHAT??

Other genies get normal wishes like a million dollars or a trip around the world, and I get this weirdo.

I don’t know man, that’s a pretty crazy wish. I’ve heard of plenty of crazy wishes but this one, this is way deep into crazytown.

Seriously?!! Look at my seriously face, just look at it.

All these wishes are so exhausting. *I* wish you’d just go away and let me nap.

No, really. It’s my nap time. I think I’m just gonna take a short nap first, let me sleep on it for a bit.

GAH!! You’re still here bothering me. Hang on, I’m thinking, stop rushing me.

You know what? Ok, fine. Abra-phjdfjeaf. Abra-cagaoefje. Abra…I can’t say it. Just…there, your wish is granted – I’ll let you bite my cheeks. But just once. Now go away and let me nap in peace.

Genie over and out.

This little charmer is turning four months! I feel like it’s taken us forever to get here and I’m starting to enjoy the process as we inch our way to that place where everything stops being so incredibly hard. I’d never describe having a baby as easy but from experience, after several months with a newborn, you’ll wake up one day and discover that you’re finally there.

In a sort of baby utopia.

You’re able to go back to functioning (and looking) like a normal human person. Whether it’s conditioning or you end up getting real pockets of sleep, you stop feeling exhausted to the bone every moment of every day. You slowly develop an understanding with the baby: you know why he’s losing it and how to hold him at that exact spot on your chest to calm him down. That helpless desperation you get while holding a hysterical baby is replaced by a strange calmness, like you know it’s going to be ok. For the first time in a long time, you feel like you’ve got a grip on things again.

Finding that place is different with each kid. With Finn, we blitzed there in a little less than 3 months. Theo and I, we’re taking a little bit more time navigating our way there. We’re presently still drifting around in the ocean of baby fatigue but LAND HO! At least there’s land in sight and we’ll find our way there somehow.

I’m still up 4-5 times a night to feed/carry/soothe him and I was pacing the room with the baby in my arms at 2.15 last night when I realised that instead of feeling like “what am I doing wrong and why is this not working??”, I was actually getting good at this. I knew he’d strain and struggle to force that burp out and struggle some more to pass out some gas and I’d just have to hold him and whisper to him till he felt comfy enough to fall asleep again.

In developmental terms, it’s been a terrific month. A month to an infant is like a decade in adult years – they pack so much growing in just 30 days.

From being a stoner newborn, he’s suddenly plugged in, like he’s come online and aware of everything around him. It’s so much fun watching him trying to make sense of the world. Like “who is that ridiculously handsome baby looking at me in the mirror? I must get to know him” and “look! 3 other tiny humans like me, FUN!” and “oh, there’s my awesome momma, she’s the best!” Haha.

He’s starting to recognise faces and it’s nice to be one of those faces he recognises. He’ll be observing each face until he spots mine and I get to see this goofball grin happen.

Little guy has discovered how lovely fingers are. He loves batting toys on his play mat with them and he loves holding my pinky with them but most of all, he loves some good old fashioned finger eating om nom nom.

He’s the talkiest of all the kids, which is saying a lot (ha!) seeing that I have 3 very talky kids. For an infant, he talks a lot, and loudly too. Some might call it shouting but it’s good, he’s learning early that he’s got to find a way to make himself heard in this crazy, noisy house.

Sometimes I think I should feel sad that I won’t be experiencing all this wonderful newborn excitement again but not really. I’ve done it four times and I’m good. I’m more than good, I’m positively thrilled that this chapter is over and I get to enjoy the other parts of having a baby from here on out.

Baby Theo turns 2 months old today. 2 whole months, how about that?

Caring for a newborn for the fourth time has been quite the adventure. You’d think all babies are the same but they’re not. I mean, they all need the same things, like nappy changes, feeds, burps, cuddles and naps, but so differently. With each baby, it’s like learning a new dance and we’re slowly discovering our rhythm; a little twirl here, a step there, a double reverse spin finale. Each one is always new and exciting.

But you know what’s always the same? How intense it is. You get to the end of every day feeling tired to the bone and all your days and nights roll into one endless whirlwind of non-stop baby duty.

You’ll just be doing your thing, trying to find your groove and suddenly, they’ll decide to grow up on you. One day they’re all glassy eyes and skinny chicken legs and next thing you know, they’re a squishy ball of yummy baby fats.

I don’t know if this makes sense but babies, they take a long time to grow up suddenly.

Here’s a little bit about my littlest man Theo, at exactly two months old.

• He’s developed a very respectable set of chubby thigh folds. You know how my mission with each newborn baby is to fatten them up for chewing? Fat baby thigh folds are the measure of my success. This baby at 2 months? SUCCESS.
• Coos and gurgles at everyone. If you talk to him, he’ll respond with his special brand of baby gurgling, maybe even throw in a smile. He’s going to be a talker, this one.
• Most definitely loves his daddy more than any other human in the world, including the one person who carried him for nine months and gave birth to him. His lovestruck gazes and sweetest smiles are reserved for his papa. What? No, I’m not bummed, why would you think that? No, not bummed at all…
• Because the only exception to the favourite daddy rule is when he’s hungry. Or tired. Or needs momma’s cuddles. Then it’s mom time only.
• After a rocky start to nursing, he’s latching on like a pro. We’ve got a great system in place now, and a firm understanding of how this works. I bring the boobs and he brings the hungry baby tummy.
• Slept for 5 hours straight a total of 1 time. It just happened one night and I woke up feeling like it was my birthday and christmas and all the awesome days in the world smooshed together. It hasn’t happened again since – I’ve tried replicating everything I did that night but I guess it’s just not meant to be.
• Motor function at about 30% tops. He tries to bat at toys but usually ends up smacking himself in the face, poor kid.
• Most of all, adores his siblings. He knows they’re his people and loves watching them run around the house like he can’t wait to be part of the gang. Patience, young padawan, you’ll be trained in the way of the force soon enough.

Sometimes, after a rough night where baby Theo wakes up every hour for a feed, I try to return the favour in the morning by putting him on my bed and kissing his eyelids and cheeks and nose and fingers and toes until he wakes up.

Struggling to open his eyes, he’ll make the cutest sleepy baby face like “help…eyelids. too. heavy…” and I’ll be all “hahahahah welcome to the club, sunshine. I know the feeling, momma’s been making that face all night.”

After a minute (or 15, depending), he’ll finally open his eyes and gaze at me sleepily and his little sleepyhead face will light up with a killer smile like “ohai it’s you, my favourite human! yeah okay, I guess you’re worth waking up for…” and I’ll be all “GAH! That’s exactly how I feel too, you tiny little demanding person.”

You’re exhausting but so worth waking up for.