Theo

In today’s edition of all my kids are growing up too quickly, Theo turned 5 and I don’t know if I’m ready for it.

Has this boy gotten all grown up or what? I know I should be used to this by now, but this is hard, y’all.

Remember when he was this chubby little baby who loved egg tarts and cakes and green things and bugs as much as he loved hugs?

He ain’t a baby no more but 5-year-old Theo is still a pill of happiness that I get to take every day. If we all had a happiness meter, this kid’s happiness level would be off the charts. He’s the most drama free, easygoing, happy kid who is an optimist through and through. He’s the kind of kid who loves unreservedly and extravagantly just because.

The great thing about having 5 kids is that they’re all so different and I get to enjoy all the very best parts. Like when I’m having a rough day, all I have to do is take a dose of Theo’s hugs and I always feel better.

**

Theo’s all about family.

He loves being part of the tribe and he makes it known often. We’ll be having dinner together and he’ll suddenly pause his eating and announce, “I like this happy family” like the thought meant so much to him that he had to immediately share it.

His favourite moments are playing together with all his siblings in the room before bedtime. It can be a dance off or an elaborate stuffed animal wedding ceremony or a pokemon battle and Theo will be all in. He will beam so wide that it lights up his whole face and it makes my heart turn into a puddle right there.

Occasionally when we’re out with all the kids, one of the methods we use to herd the kids along is to be all like “let’s go kids, you’re going to get left behind.” After 3-4 rounds of this, I’ll finally say, “bye guys, if you decide to stay here, we’ll see you when we see you!” This is usually the cue for them to drop everything and get going.

All the kids (including Hayley) know that there’s no chance of us ever leaving anyone behind and they will play along like “bye [whichever kid wandering off/usually Finn], see you next time!” but not Theo. When it comes to the possibility of losing any of his siblings, Theo takes no chances.

“STOP, DON’T GO!!” he’ll yell and then run back to grab whoever is left behind.

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He may be the second youngest kid around here but on the inside, he’s got the fearlessness of a big kid.

One time while we were all at a water playground, Finn was getting shot in the face by a much bigger kid wielding a water bazooka. Poor Finn was a little helpless, trying to run away and dodge as the other kid kept shooting. I was about to intervene when Theo sprinted over from across the park towards the kid who was doing the shooting and told him off sternly, “DON’T SHOOT AT MY KOR KOR FINN!!”

The big kid who was at least 11 or 12 took a look at Theo’s face and then basically backed off meekly.

Theo then ran to Finn and stayed next to him for the remainder of the day.

Another time at a different playground, Finn’s balloon sword was swiped by another kid and in usual non-confrontational Finn fashion, he pretty much let it go and went off to play with something else while keeping an eye on his toy from a distance. Eventually, Theo came across the other kid with Finn’s balloon and you can be sure that he wasn’t quite as non-confrontational.

“Um hi, this belongs to my brother,” he told the kid. “Can he have it back?” Just like that, Theo valiantly returned the sword to his big brother and they resumed playing happily.

All I know is that when I grow up, I want to be as confident as this kid.

**

At 5, Theo still comes into my room for a cuddle every morning and I’ll ask him if he will be my baby forever. His answer is always the same. “Forever is a long time but I’ll be your baby today.”

I’ve done this long enough to know that I only get to baby these babies for a short time before they get all big and have no use for babying anymore. I’ll figure out what to do with my heart when all of the todays run out but for now, I’ll take today for as long as it lasts.

We’re almost at the end of birthday season but first, it’s all about this baby bear turning 4!

Let me say straight up that this boy is one of my most favouritest people in the world. He’s got that enthusiastic, endearing all in all the time kind of boyish charm that’s so hard to resist.

He’s super fun to be with too, I mean, this is a kid who knows how to show you a good time.

Theo is the kind of boy who wears his heart on his sleeve. He doesn’t play it cool or dial down his emotions because there’s no need for that sort of thing. If he’s happy, it’s all over his face. Joy will radiate from his eyes and he will break out into the widest grin I have ever seen. Ain’t no one else looks happy like Theo looks happy is what I’m saying.

There’s the full on happy face…

And the I can’t help it my face can’t contain this much joy happy face.

It works the same way when he’s sad. There will be great big tears welling up in his eyes and that sad baby face that goes along with it? This momma can’t handle.

I don’t suppose he’ll do too well at being a super spy or in casinos for that matter seeing that his poker face game is basically zero. But if you’re not planning on a career in espionage or gambling, it’s not a bad way to approach life, not having to ever have to hide how you feel.

He still loves green and all of the slimy animals that are of that color family. I was hoping that would be a phase that he outgrows but if anything, he’s surer than ever of his love for green and gross animals. Every time we go to the library, he heads straight to the non-fiction section to pick out books on frogs and salamanders and newts. And I read them to him over and over because love makes you do crazy things so now I know that frogs lay about 4,000 eggs at a go and also how to identify a golden dart frog (FYI when you see one, you RUN!!).

Okay, the testosterone is strong in this one. He’s a classic boisterous boy whose favourite game is called “DESTROY ENEMIES” wherein the game mechanics work exactly like you’d imagine. In involves identifying enemies and systematically eliminating them with a variety of methods including super turbo nuclear blasters and elemental electro energy forcefield.

He’s the only kid who seems to be actively considering the things I try to teach him. Like 20 minutes after I have a word with him about snatching his sister’s stuff, he comes over to me and says “I’m so sorry mom for grabbing Hayley’s toy earlier. I’m really sorry. I won’t do it next time.” It’s not the kind of flippant apology that you deliver reluctantly because you have to, but one that’s heartfelt and thoughtful and what kind of 4-year-old does this?

And then he’ll go and kiss his baby on the head or hand her another toy just to love on her a little. It’s not to say that there are no more squabbles or fights over toys because it takes time to learn these things but I feel like he’s trying to internalise them.

Theo was always a kid who couldn’t wait to grow up. He was already off running with the big kids trying to fit in once he was stable on his feet, and he talks like he’s several years older than he actually is. He may be #4 in the pecking order around here but it doesn’t stop him from making the most of his big brother status, always being protective of his baby and fussing over her. Whenever we pick him up from school, he’ll start waving at Hayley once he spots her and he’ll tell everyone around him who will listen that Hayley is his baby. Last week, his teacher was amused when she heard it, like “this is your baby??” and he nodded with so much pride. “Yes, Hayley is MY baby,” he said.

 

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Sometimes I feel like I should be a responsible parent and put an end to this madness and just make them sit quietly before someone gets hurt but then watching them play is ❤️

A post shared by Daphne (@daphneling) on Jul 5, 2018 at 2:34am PDT

Although there’s still the baby side of him that I get glimpses of once from time to time and I live for these moments. He still makes his way to our bed in the middle of the night. I’ll find his baby feet jabbing into my liver at 5 in the morning and he’ll whisper, “I miss you mom, I just want to snuggle with you pleeeease…” and I’ll mumble something like “ok just for a bit” and there it’ll be, that look of absolute delight all over his sleepy baby face.

What he doesn’t know is that I enjoy his morning snuggles as much as he does and I want it to last for as long as possible, which I know from experience isn’t much longer.

Happy birthday, Theo!! I’m so happy I get to be your mom. :)

Six months ago, Theo went to school for the first time in his life. He was not thrilled about it and every day that he had to spend apart from me filled him with great sadness.

He called himself my homeboy (“I’m a boy who likes to stay at home with you, mom!!” he used to say) and even after two months of school, he wasn’t a fan. School was what it was and he was determined to reluctantly tolerate it, not enjoy it.

“HIIIIII Theo!! How was your day today? Did you have lots of fun in school?” I’d ask every afternoon.

“No. I missed you so much, mom. I was so very sad.”

Then at the end of last year, a miracle happened. We shifted to Punggol only to discover that all the preschools in the area were full. I got him on the waiting list for 5 schools and they all told me the same thing: the list is long and his chances were slim at best.

“You mean I don’t have to go to school anymore???? YEAHHHHH!!” Was there ever a boy more delighted than this? I think not.

We got to spend 3 whole months together and it was such a treat for us both. Morning walks! Late morning snuggles in bed! Cosying up with books! Library outings!! It was lovely and I know this because as with all things that are lovely, those days ended way too quickly.

 

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It still amazes me how Theo is like a different kid when he’s with baby Hayley. He’s sweet and attentive and gentle even when she’s monopolizing all his toys. Sometimes I‘d pretend to be fierce to Hayley and he will immediately rush to her rescue like “Don’t talk to Hayley like that she’s only a tiny baby, you must tell her nicely and she will listen.”

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Two weeks ago, Theo started school for the second time. This short break seemed to have worked wonders. While he’s still sad about being away from me, school suddenly doesn’t seem so scary after all.

“Bye mom!! See you after school!” he yells as he holds Finn’s hand and walks off together. (If there was ever a case to be made for having siblings, this is it. Forget companionship or learning about conflict resolution, it’s all about sharing in the misery of early childhood education.)

Just look at this boy all grown up. He’s taken this feather and stuck it to his cap like a champ.

Theo finally started school last week!

Alas, do not be fooled by this look of joyous delight because poor baby was not pleased about it at all. I suppose it’s to be expected considering that he spent his entire life not being apart from his favourite person in the world (uh huh, me). It’s a big change for him, having to spend half a day with strange new people at a strange new place.

I tried preparing him weeks in advance.

Me: Theo, you’ll be going to school soon! It’ll be super fun, you can play with toys, go to the playground, do crafts, eat snacks! Maybe there will be cake!!

Theo: No need, I’m full of cake already. I just want to stay with you. 

1. I should have known, this boy is sharp and he will not be bamboozled by my feeble distraction techniques. I’m going to have to do a lot better at selling this whole going to school nonsense and 2. This was unprecedented. Theo has never refused cake in his life and while I’m secretly pleased that my presence is clearly more important than cake, I knew this transition was going to be a rough one.

I had another go at it.

Me: You’re a big boy now right? And big boys go to school. Kor kor Finn goes to school and kor kor Truett goes to school…

Theo: But I’m still a baby. Remember, you said I will be your baby forever? 

Me: Well, yeah, but I didn’t mean that literally. You’ll always be a baby in my heart like kor kor is my baby, but you’re 3 now!! 

Theo: 3 years old means small tiny tiny baby. And babies means must stay with mommy. 

This wasn’t working either.

***

Me: Hey baby, school is not scary. I know it’s new and it seems scary but the teachers are very nice and you’re going to be ok. You’ll have so much fun there, just ask kor kor Finn. 

Theo: I cannot have fun because I’ll be so very sad. 

Me: The teachers will cheer you up ok? And there will be so many friends to play with!

Theo: Only you can cheer me up, mom. If I stay with you then I’ll be super happy. If I don’t have you, I’ll just be sad and sad and sad. 

???

It’s been a whole week of school and also a whole week of big, sad tears. Just getting him into his uniform is an ordeal. He’ll be like “but my favourite colour is not yellow and blue. My favourite colour is green and this uniform got no green so I cannot go to school right?”

“Oh, but do you know what colour you get when you mix yellow and blue? GREEN!! Seriously, it’s like this school is made for you, except it’s in a secret code, isn’t that cool?” I try telling him.

“No.”

Mmmkay, so he didn’t buy that either.

All my boys had separation anxiety when they started school, and you’d think that I have some experience with this by now but it still breaks my heart when my baby is all “please mommy please please please can I follow you? I just want to go wherever you go…” with so much tears in his eyes while he tries to be brave and hold it all in.

To make up for all the extra sadness around here, we’re trying a new routine of leaving the house before the sun is up together with Tru and Kirsten. After dropping the big kids off, we get to have a leisurely morning breakfast picnic at the park for an hour before the boys head to school

Then when it’s time to go…

“Please just 5 more minutes??”

“Okay fine. But we really have to go after that.”

“YAYYYY you’re the best, mom!!!”

“Okay boys, time’s really up, let’s go!!”

Behold the face of tremendous sadness.

We’re still in the middle of moving madness (so exhausting!) but baby Theo turned 3 a few weeks back so today’s post is all about my littlest boy.

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Hey Theo,

You’re 3!! Look at you, all grown up like a big boy!

I know I’m supposed to love all my babies regardless but I need to tell you that you’re such a delight to have around. I like hanging out with you so much. Which possibly explains why you’re still not in school. All your older siblings were in preschool from 2 years old but you spent the last year hanging out with me at home, running errands, making sandwiches, going to the library, working on our very poorly done art pieces that nobody should ever be made to see. I’d pretend to call it homeschooling but the truth is that I liked having you all to myself so much, I just wanted a little more time with you before you started doing all that rapid growing up.

You are super advanced for your age. It’s very disconcerting looking at your tiny 3-year-old body when you’re telling me things because 3-year-olds don’t talk like this. You have a remarkable understanding of things and you’ve also got an explanation for everything.

In explaining to grandma why you had to go home yesterday, you said “I need to go home now to be with my family. I’ll come back next time ok?” FYI, grandma is your family, but I know, mommy is your entire world right now and I’ll have it that way for as long as I can.

Last week, I told you that I couldn’t bring you along to KK Hospital when Hayley was ill and you were like “but then I’ll miss you and you’ll miss me, so you should just bring me with you.”

You’re also actively working on overcoming your fears, which is incredible for anyone of any age. Like you used to hate the feel of sand on your skin; just a few grains of sand would drive you completely nuts. We’d try to bring you to the beach, but you would stay in the middle of the beach mat where it was safe. But after seeing how much fun your siblings were having playing with sand, you decided to give it a go. At first, you were like “eww eww eww why am I doing this?” but you powered through and now you even let your siblings bury your entire body in the sand. Achievement unlocked.

Look at this face. This is the face of someone who knows he took on his irrational fear and won.

Your favourite colour is green, and by extension, you like green frogs, green turtles, green lizards. I try my best to be a supportive parent, but really, who likes green things? You don’t see adorable green baby seals or green puppies or green unicorns; in fact, even the word green can go full on alliteration with gross, so that should tell you something.

But a boy likes what a boy likes so we got you a collection of favourite green friends, which you adore. On this note, I will cuddle your stuffed green frog but the line is drawn at an actual slimy, jumpy, very much alive green frog. You will not, under any circumstances, bring a real frog home, understand?? Your poor mother cannot deal with that. This momma loves her green-loving boy but if those green things are reptiles or amphibians, that’s where the line is.

You love hanging out with your older siblings but I know you have a soft spot for your baby sister. You’re really good with her too, always remembering to check in on her or running back to kiss her gently when you’re off having fun.

You will save some of your snacks for her, and even though some of the pieces were so tiny, I know how much it means to you and I suppose the thought (and tiny crumb) does count.

Last time I checked (this morning), you’re still a foodie and I still enjoy watching you enjoy your food. The highlight of your birthday was the chocolate cake that you chose on your own. We went to several cake shops to take a look before you decided on the nicest one. “This one looks delicious, let’s get this mom!” You looked so thrilled watching the lady write “Happy birthday, Theo!!” in squiggly white frosting (they didn’t have green frosting). Excellent choice, by the way, the cake was indeed delicious.

Being a 4th kid can feel like you’re lost in the crowd sometimes but mommy will always have time for you. Always. :)

These two have been instructing me to do a post on all the stuff baby Theo says.

Why? Baby Theo is ridiculously advanced for a two-year-old. He’s like a super juiced-up interactive toy and the big kids love making him say things and then laughing at all his responses.

I’m like “I have very deep, very important things to write here” but they didn’t believe me. Also, they’re all “It’s so cute, you need to write this down so you can remember it.”

Nice move, kids. This one’s for you guys.

This is what it comes to when your kids are reading your blog – you have to take instruction from a 7 and 8 year old.

***

Theo: Kor kor Truett, can you help me pick up my blanket?

Tru: You should just do it yourself, it’s right next to you on the floor.

Theo: *grunts and pretends to reach for it, but zero effort* Ooooff, I cannot.

Tru: What?? It’s like you’re not even trying.

Theo: It’s too difficult, can you help me please?

Tru: Argh, ok fine.

Theo: Aww, you are my best friend.

Tru: If kor kor don’t pick up for you, am I still your best friend?

Theo: Ummmmm NOPE!

Tru: Oei, so terrible, this baby.

***

Theo: Baby Hayley, don’t cry cry, don’t be sad.

Hayley: Waaaaaaaa…bwahhhhhhh

Theo: *holds her cheeks* Stop, stop, stop!!! Shhhh shhhhhhhhhhh… PLEASE STOP!

Hayley: *hyperventilating scream*

Theo: MOM YOU NEED TO TALK TO BABY HAYLEY I CANNOT!!!

Kirsten: This is not how babies work. You can’t squash her face and shout at her, you need to be sweet and gentle to the baby.

Theo: *in a falsetto* It’s ok baby Hayley, don’t cry cry.

***

Me: Hey Theo, can mommy have some of that pandan cake?

Theo: No thank you, I’m good.

Me: What you’re good? I’m not good, I need some cake too. Just a small piece?

Theo: It’s ok, no need, thanks.

Me: What’s going on here? Is this some high level negotiation technique?

Tru + Kirsten: Hahahahahahahha

***

Theo: *crying* I need my elephant blanket, please mom, please please.

Me: Sorry baby, mommy needs to wash it because it’s all gross now, you were dragging it around in the toilet.

Theo: *still crying* But I need it…baby Theo got no blanket I will cry.

Me: I can see that, but we’ll have to use this other soft soft blanket tonight ok. You’ll get it back tomorrow.

Theo: Bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Me: It’s ok baby.

Theo: BWAHHHHH…JUST HUG ME!!

Me: Wait, did you say hug me or don’t hug me, I wasn’t sure.

Theo: YES JUST HUG ME, I NEED A HUG!!!

Me: Why yes of course I’ll hug you!! Mommy will hug you to sleep ok?

Theo: *nods and sobs dramatically into my arms*