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To game or not to game

November 24, 2009

Gaming runs in my blood. My brother is a gamer, my sister is a social gamer (she does it when I’m missing a player and I force her to), I’m a gamer and I married a gamer. When I took a shopping trip to Bangkok with my mom and my sis, the husband was over at my house gaming with my brother for 5 days straight (most days without sleeping). Me, I spent 90 hours on Final Fantasy XII alone and I’m pretty sure I’ll top that when FF XIII is out.

So it’s not surprising that my son is also a gamer. I say you can tell a gamer from the way they hold a controller because it’s your best friend, your weapon. You can’t just hold it like it’s a potato. The grip must be firm but not too tight and your fingers must have enough room to maintain dexterity. This you can’t teach.

While some parents freak out at the fact that their kids are playing computer games at 7, I’m proud to say that my 17-month-old boy holds a controller like a pro. Peruse exhibit A.

truett controller

That's how you hold a controller. See the concentration it takes.

That's Winning Eleven. No fighting games till he turns 21.

That's Winning Eleven. No fighting games till he turns 21.

You should probably know by now that my parenting style is rather unorthodox. I know all about the research that shows a correlation between gaming and violent behavior in children (if you try hard enough, you can also find correlation between a caterpillar and ballroom dancing). And the argument that it hinders social development or promotes parasocial interaction. And the fact that it’s bad for the eyes, or how the flickering light can cause epilepsy.

But in my defense, here’s what I’ve got to say. Gaming is wonderful because

1. It trains your fingers to be dexterous. Everyone knows that dexterous fingers are vital to becoming a surgeon. (just watch Grey’s Anatomy) So just look at it as giving him a headstart to becoming a top class cardiovascular surgeon. I bet Christina Yang can kick some serious ass at Viva Pinata.

2. It trains you to think fast and think out of the box. How else would you be able to rescue the princess and fight your way out of a burning castle with 20,000 minions with katanas on your tail? Mental strength and creativity, that’s how.

3. It relieves stress through catharsis. You have a crappy day and gaming helps you to let off some steam. It’s not good to keep all that bad emotions bottled up inside because then you become a sullen, angsty teen that uses your parents as punching bags. The secret to a happy and *fulfilled* childhood is to take it out on all the baddies in Metal Gear Solid 4.

4. You can learn to play musical instruments and eventually form a real rock band like the Jonas Brothers U2 and become a superstar. If you want to succeed, you can’t be sitting around on your ass pretending to do assessment books because you’re afraid your mother is going to whip your ass. It takes practice. On Rock Band 2.

5. You can play computer games for a living and get rich by winning competitions. Now that’s job satisfaction for you.

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literally a crappy post, stuff best described as not safe for parents

Love is

November 23, 2009

I dare say, very few things gross me out as a mom. Not after I’ve been vomited, peed and pooped on with poop of various consistencies. I’ve had my son draw a mural on the floor with his own crap. One time, a stray piece of poop was found under the sofa, and by the time we found it, it looked like it was alive because it was buzzing with flies. Don’t ask.

Suffice to say, my tolerance for all things gross is legendary. For example, I can scrape crap off his diaper with my bare hands without flinching. After a while, you think that you’ve seen it all but the thing with kids, they are a lot more creative than you give them credit for.

Last week, baby Kirsten has raised the grossness stakes and it is the best one yet.

So usually, I like to sit her on my chest while I’m lying down on the bed and sing to her. It’s one of our favorite daily activities. Sitting on momma’s chest and listening to me belt out Jason Mraz. She’ll put her face real close to mine and gaze into my eyes, which is awfully sweet and very good for bonding time.

Except that this time, I must have been jiggling her too much and right in the middle of my I’m Yours rendition, she regurgitated and threw up right INTO MY MOUTH and all over the rest of my face. (I swear some went into my eye) On retrospect, it was like I was asking for it because 1. gravity works against me by pulling the stream of vomit downwards towards my face, 2. my heartfelt number requires me to open my mouth real wide and 3. with her sitting on my chest, there is absolutely nowhere to run without flinging her off me.

These are moments in life where things happen very fast but when you are at the receiving end, your mind processes it in slow motion and there was a split second where I was thinking “I’m pretty sure baby girl is about to vomit into my mouth and I should do something about it. I think I should close my mouth. But what if it hits me in the eye? Does that mean I’m going to go blind? Maybe I should catch it with my mouth so that it doesn’t blind me. Oh crap.” Yes, my brain processes all that information in a split second.

Now that I think about it, I should have gone with closing both my mouth but my ninja reflexes failed me when I needed them most and I got thrown up on good and proper.

The silver lining is that I learnt something new from this and I’ll share it with you so you don’t have to learn it the hard way.

Love is having someone vomit into your mouth and not freaking out because you don’t want to scare her, so you take a moment to put her down gingerly, wipe the puke from your eyes and proceed to throw up the entire contents of your lunch.

Also, when somebody is about to vomit on your face, close both your eyes and your mouth.

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stuff best described as not safe for parents, Videos I dig

Bat Fight

November 17, 2009

The first time you watch this, you’ll think it’s probably some lame spoof of Batman fighting the Joker or Riddler or some other nefarious circus act. Then it starts and it sounds like it’s taken off the soundtrack of Kill Bill where Uma Thurman takes on Lucy Liu.  2 minutes in, you’ll be wondering if the video actually has a point.

Just wait for it, because it does and you’ll be all like WTH?!! No, no, no, no, no.

Right after that, you’ll watch it again and again and again and really listen to the lyrics and be blown away by the sheer ingenuity of it because it is that awesome. You will wake up in the morning and involuntarily go Hot dusty day, nothing’s going down…

Or you might probably hate it.

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stuff best described as not safe for parents

This is *NOT* a porn site

October 1, 2009

Just thought I’d make that clear, seeing that we live in an age where free porn is ubiquitous. From time to time, I do my blog analysis and laugh my ass off at the search engine terms used to locate this blog.

Fellas, it’s MOTHER INC, not MILF INC, so you’re probably going to be disappointed.

Seriously, I couldn’t even make this stuff up.

1. www.mother sex milk.com (First of all, a website does not have spaces in between. Unless you mean mother’s ex milk, which still doesn’t make any sense.)

2. old woman sqirting milk from boobs (Really? This turns you on? And sqirting?)

3. hot hunky male postman (Post*men* by definition are in fact male.)

4. sleeping women’s drinking milk boobs (What does this even mean?)

5. fire hose boobs (I like!)

6. chinese milky boobs milked (Friggin’ racist.)

7. dropping milk boobs of under 17 (What??? English fail.)

8. milk drinking boobs nipple from a boy (I think you mean “boy drinking milk from a boob’s nipple”)

9. shinier boobs pregnancy (Calling R2D2. Red alert, red alert!)

10. hot mother want sex too (Amen, sista!)

Great, I just realized that this is going to up my porn rating by a notch. Might as well go all the way.

XXX FREE PORN XXX HERE!!

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stuff best described as not safe for parents

Awesomeness in a book

September 7, 2009
sneak peek of the awesomebook

sneak peek of the awesomebook

So over the weekend, Kirsten got the coolest present ever. It was a scrapbook from her aunt (plus her BFF and a bunch of other folks). Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. “A scrapbook? What are you, like 3?” Which was kinda what I thought at first because I was actually into scrapbooking when I was in fact, 3. Except that the S got lost and it was more like a crapbook with gaudy cutout pictures and huge blobs (which I drew).

Till this day, I still draw like a 3-year-old and not in the that’s-so-cute-and-childlike sorta way, but the get-that-thing-out-of-my-face kinda way. And before you get all judgey, I’ll have you know that I make up for my lack of artistic talent in other ways. Some guys can draw, others can shoot foam out of their ass (baby girl, I’m looking at you), and me, I can hoola-hoop for a *really* long time while standing on one leg and with both hands tied behind my back. Impressive, I know.

Right, so when I saw the scrapbook, my jaw totally fell and hit the floor because it was awesomeness in a book. It should be called an awesomebook and trust me, when you see it, you’ll be wishing you got one just like it so you can show off to all your friends that you’ve got an awesomebook and they’d be all like, “I wish I had one too”.

Even though it technically wasn’t for me because the title says a hundred rules for kirsten kao, I still teared a little when I got home and read it. It was filled with pictures that they drew/shot themselves, which were totally gaudy awesome. And apparently, she had to pull a thousand favors and make a complete fool of herself by wearing her PJs (without the pants) out to a fancypants cafe. I would have paid a lot of money just to witness that alone.

With this brilliant move, yi-yi’s (that’s what we call teenage grandaunts here)  stocks have risen exponentially. When Kirsten turns 18 and she gets asked what’s the best present she’s ever received, it’s not going to be the Audi TT that mama bought, but the awesomebook that took a thousand hours to make.

PS If you want a sneak peek at the making of it, you can check out this site.

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kids inc, stuff best described as not safe for parents

Must Love Dogs (Part 2)

July 7, 2009

Part 1 is right here.

I made a home video that is sure to be the next big hit. It’s got a baby and a dog. And Lauryn Hill. And a half-naked man.

All the ingredients for a massive hit.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2j8D_rTffI

PS. Seriously, please ignore the semi-naked person in the background. We were trying to avoid it, which explains why Tru’s head was cut off during some parts.

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