seriously somewhat serious

This being the season on giving thanks, I wanted to take a moment to give thanks for all the blessings I get to count.

It’s been a good year (better than most), with lots to be thankful for.

For family. My mom, my in-laws, my sister, my brother and Bernie. These guys are my people – loud and crazy and sometimes weird but always full of love and unwavering support. We haven’t always agreed on everything and I’m glad we never had to pretend to. I’m thankful for all the lovely warm dinners, chats over dessert, the help with the kids often without us asking, and Sarah for getting, no, sharing my insane Disney obsession. Mostly, I’m thankful for my tribe.

For good friends. Friends whose company mean the world to us. Friends who love us like family and don’t ask for anything in return. These are the very best kind.

For a fun life filled with fun activities. Trips to the zoo, picnics in the park, jumping in water fountains and wild roller coaster rides. Sometimes in the midst of all these activities, I’ll have an epiphanic realisation of how much fun we’re having and how much of a privilege it is to be having this much fun and I make a mental note to stop and be thankful.

For the paths we had to take and the lessons we learnt from them. This journey hasn’t been the easiest but having walked through the rough times and now standing on the other side (the brighter side), I’ve learnt to be thankful for the hard lessons.

For the small victories along the way. Little victories are the ones worth celebrating because they eventually turn into great big juicy victories.

For a home filled with love and laughter. A home I look forward to coming home to everyday. A home that’s my happy place.

For Truett, Kirsten and Finn, my three favouritest people in the world. These kids are the raddest in every way possible and I’m just so glad I get to be their mom.

For the husband, the love of my life. Almost seven years of being married to this man and I still wake up in the morning feeling like it’s a dream come true to be waking up next to him. We fight battles in the trenches together, we giggle like kids in fancy restaurants together, we have crazy fun together and I’d gladly spend the rest of my life doing everything else together.

I’m somewhat of a drama addict and not just any ordinary addict, I’m one of those compulsive fast-forwarder types. Especially when I know something bad is about to happen (hello, foreshadowing!), my heart can’t take the suspense and I’ll zip right through to the end where the good parts are.

Like I’m halfway through a scene and out of nowhere, the characters start wrestling with a large knife(??!) and I’m like “oh no oh no oh no PUT IT DOWN, someone is going to get stabbed in the gut” and I’ll fast-forward the scene just to make sure everyone is still alive and unstabbed before I start breathing again. (Breaking Bad, you know I’m talking about you. What ever will I do with my life after the series finale next week?)

I’m a skip-to-the-good-parts kind of girl.

In fact, if my life was nothing more than a compilation of good parts, I’d be ok with that. More than ok, I think!

Some days, I like to imagine that I have a fast-forward button for real. Like when I’m in a bit of a slump that I can’t unslump myself from, zap, fast-forwarded. Having a crummy day filled with crummy, crummy news, zap, gone. Rough day at home with the kids, zap. Can’t wait for something good to happen, zap. Any number of awful things happening that I wish wouldn’t happen, zap, zap, zap. 

And then I’d be left with only the good parts, right? Sometimes, I do so wish I had a big fat fast-forward button.

The other day, just for the fun of it, I made a list of all the moments I wish I could have fast-forwarded in my life.

1. The months after I decided to leave my job to stay home with Tru and everything was so difficult for so long. Gosh, that was a rough time.

2. Days with the kids where all I’m doing all day is break up fights, cook meals to have it spat out and spilled on the floor, do like a million pieces of laundry and clean up messes that just magically reappear right after it’s cleaned.

3. The post-natal depression bits.

4. The worrying about bills bits.

5. The stressing that I’m not doing a good enough job with the kids bits.

Plus a whole lot more. I’m telling you, I’ve got quite a list there.

I looked at my list and I started remembering the oddly fun moments during those awful days. Like that one time I was so mad at Tru for spitting out the delicious porridge that I’d spent an hour slaving over the stove to whip up and the whole time while I was going on like “Tru, come on, this is good for you, just eat it already”, he was making faces trying to dig out a piece of stray spinach from his mouth. It was really stuck and he was digging furiously like dig, dig dig but it just wouldn’t come out and he was trying so hard and I just couldn’t stay mad at this kid. It was so hilarious and cute and gross and messy all at the same time.

One by one, I went down the list and I could remember how crummy it felt when it was going on but then I could also remember all these weirdly amazing good parts all mixed in with the bad ones. If I had skipped it, I would have missed it all. And in there are some of the parts worth having the most. 

Besides, I look at all these crummy days and I like to think that I’m better for it. On bad days, I learnt to be content with what I have even though it’s not much. On bad days, I leant to discover great big beautiful moments in the little ones. Most of all, bad days make the good ones so. much. better. After a bad day, I have an average day and I’m like “wow, that was actually quite good. Yay for a good day!!” If all I had were good days, the average ones would be “meh, next…”

I’d round this up with some deep, contemplative thoughts on life but since this is me talking myself out of having an imaginary fast-forward button that doesn’t even exist, here are a bunch of retro pictures coming at you instead.

I read about the shocking case of child abuse at NTUC’s My First Skool (Toa Payoh) yesterday and it took me several tries before I managed to get through the video footage – it was just too painful to watch.

That’s got to be every parent’s greatest nightmare. As it is, I was a complete mess on the first day Truett started preschool. He was fine, off running and having a good time before I could even wave goodbye. I was not so fine. I put on a brave face but I got to the car and started sobbing like I was in some Greek tragedy while imagining the worst. What if his friends were mean? What if the teachers hurt him? What if a cabinet fell on him? (true story I heard)

It took a lot from me to be ok leaving my kids in the care of strangers for 3 hours a day, five days a week.

I have a lot of respect for preschool teachers because kids that age can be a real handful. I have 3 and I already want to lose my shit on some days so I can’t imagine having to deal with 15 tantrum-y preschoolers on a difficult one. Ok, maybe I can imagine what that’s like. It would be like walking into battle against a horde of evil Chuckies armed with only a small stick. Which you can’t even use to smack them with so you’ll mostly be backed into a corner waving it wildly, screaming “stay away from me!!!” as they advanced menacingly.

That’s probably why I’d suck as an educator.

That’s also why I think the world of teachers who have to put up with our kids for hours everyday and do it with seemingly endless amounts of love and patience.

But cases like this makes me go into panic attack mode all over again. It makes me want to stalk the kids in school and do a daily review of the CCTV footage. Or better yet, break in and install a couple of hidden cameras to surveil the place myself.

At this point, let me just say that teachers need to maintain their composure all the time and there is no plausible scenario where hurting a child is acceptable. It doesn’t matter how brattish the kid is – if you can’t deal with it in a fitting manner, then perhaps teaching preschoolers isn’t your thing. Go find a job where you can pick on someone your own size. And a note on the teachers who might have witnessed the whole thing – keeping silent and ignoring it makes them equally culpable. They have a responsibility to put a stop to this madness, rush the kid to the hospital and then sucker punch the perpetrator in the face.

In life, there are several things that are deserving of an immediate punch to the face and abusing a kid is one of them.

Parents are calling for harsher punishment and I can’t say I disagree. On some level, it’s comforting to know that this has unleashed the wrath of a hundred thousand outraged parents on their ass. We’re sending a message that child abuse has no place in our schools.

Hopefully this sort of thing doesn’t happen again and I hope the little kid gets well really soon.

Photo credit: Today

I’m not very much fond of of talking about the weather but today I make an exception because the haze situation here is clearly out of control.

I woke up this morning and for a moment, I thought the house was on fire. Hurriedly, I bolted out of bed and was relieved to discover that it was the haze but only just – and it’s the sort of relief that comes when you realize that you’ve been stabbed in the thigh instead of the neck.

In the living room, the kids were already changed and ready for school like they usually are. The husband opened the door to step out and the haze was so ridiculous that everyone hastily retreated back in. I’ve never walked into the Sahara desert during a sandstorm or tried to escape from a burning building but I imagine it feels something like this.

So we’re all home and I’m trying to create a protective bubble with all the windows closed tight. Who would have thought that the little air purifier we got some time back is now the single most treasured appliance in our house? I make the kids crowd around it like a campfire spot because for now, it’s the closest thing we’ve got to clean air.

It’s not really working though.

The kids are having drippy noses. Baby Finn is rubbing his eyes all the time and he’s hacking away with a mild fever. It feels miserable enough for me so I can only imagine how much worse it must be for their tiny lungs to cope with a Pollutant Standards Index level that’s well above the hazardous range.

It makes me want to hulk smash something except that it will be too strenuous while I’m breathing in dangerous smoke particles. And it’s getting hard to look on the bright side when one can barely see at all. Let’s hope things get better soon.

You guys stay safe!

I don’t have many vivid memories of my life before I turned 5. There are some fuzzy bits here and there, like the times I used to engage in epic sword fights with my brother in the bedroom of my grandparents’ apartment. I remember going to McDonald’s a lot. And I think we used to watch this creepily bizarre show on tv where the characters would eat mice for fun. Clearly we weren’t big on censorship back in those days.

But there are a few moments that I remember with remarkable clarity.

We were at the beach and my dad brought me for a swim in the water. He had me in his arms and we were having a good time splashing around when for a brief moment, I went under the water. It was no more than a few seconds tops but those seconds felt like an eternity. I remember the burning in my throat as I swallowed mouthfuls of the salty sea water. I remember tasting the water and thinking that I’ve never tasted anything so salty and foul in my life. I remember how cold the water was. And most of all, I remember the awful, paralyzing terror of at the thought that I was going to drown.

Several years later, I eventually learnt how to swim but till this day, I hate the sea. I don’t care how clear and beautiful the water is. I hate how salty it tastes and I’m terrified that I’ll be attacked by horrible sea creatures.

***

Recently, we started the kids on swimming lessons. It started out fairly well, where they learnt how to blow bubbles and do the hand motion for the breast stroke. Then they progressed to swimming short distances without swimming aids. It was a really short distance like an arm’s length from the edge of the pool but they were supposed to do it on their own.

Kirsten took a deep breath and flailed her way to the edge. She got submerged, drank some water but she got out, rubbed her nose, smiled and was ready to go again.

Truett did the same thing but halfway in, he suddenly realized that he was all alone in the water and completely panicked. So when it was time for the next lap, he clung on to the instructor and refused to let go. She was all like “you’ve got to let go I’m holding you…” but Tru kept asking, “are you going to let go of me?” I think she was trying to motivate him with reverse psychology because she said “If you keep asking me, I’m going to really let go of you.” And she did. Just for a brief moment.

For 3 nights in a row after that, he woke up screaming in the middle of the night. The third night, I held him for almost 15 minutes while he cried and cried and cried uncontrollably. Finally, after he stopped, he said that he dreamt he was stuck in the water. Then in a quiet voice, he asked, “Can I stop swimming classes? I think I don’t want to go anymore.”

My inner tiger mom wanted to teach him to to face his fears like a man. I mean, tons of kids have learnt to swim that way – by getting thrown into the water. Besides, Kirsten is a year younger and she’s doing fine.

But I saw the very same look of terror in his eyes and all of a sudden, I remembered exactly how it felt to be terrified of drowning as a kid. So we held him and told him it was ok if he wanted to stop his swimming lessons. We would pick them up again when he’s ready to give it another go.

It’s time for a biology lesson and in line with our nationwide mozzie alert, here are 7 things you should know about the aedes mosquito:

1. Aedes mosquitoes are identified by the black and white stripes on their body. Sort of like a zebra, but much, much smaller. And way less cute.

2. Only the female aedes mosquito bites people while the males just sit around and eat fruit. I hate to say this but females are usually way more badass.

3. They can breed in pools of water as small as a 20-cent coin. Like I said, badass.

4. The eggs can lie dormant in dry conditions for up to about nine months, after which they can hatch if exposed to favourable conditions, i.e. water and food. If I haven’t made their badassery clear enough, this should drive home the point because even their unhatched babies are badass.

5. The mosquito can lay eggs about three times in its lifetime, and about 100 eggs are produced each time. I guess if I had to deal with 300 babies, I’d go around biting people too. I have 3 babies and I already feel like biting people from time to time, just saying.

6. They like to lay their eggs in clean, stagnant water. Apparently mozzies can have OCD too.

7. Peak biting is at dawn and dusk. It’s their form of stealth attack, be warned.

Ok, there’s a point to these nuggets of information, which is to help you guys in your quest to exterminate them. I suppose if you’re the badass sort, one way is to arm yourself with those electric mozzie zappers to electrocute those little bloodsuckers if you see them around but it’s like having to fight zombies when they’re already fully grown and shuffling their way towards you with their jaws open.

A far more effective way would be to wipe out the babies before they get to the bitey stage. Or better yet, don’t even give them a chance to make babies.

Which is why we’re all doing the 5-step Mozzie Wipeout to eliminate stagnant pools of water in our homes, even those as small as a 20-cent coin.

To wrap up, these are some of the common areas that aedes mosquitoes love to breed:

• Ornamental containers
• Domestic containers
• Refrigerator trays
• Flower pot plates/trays
• Toilet bowls/cisterns
• Hardened soil in plants
• Gully traps

All it takes is a little vigilance from all of us so let’s all do what we can to stop the spread of dengue. For more information, check out the the website here. Or go like the Stop Dengue Now Facebook page and follow @NEAsg on twitter for live updates.

I’ll admit that when I came across the article in the Straits Times on the record number of dengue cases this year, the first thought that came to mind was that it must have been caused by all the construction sites in the vicinity. And possibly the weird dude in my estate who mumbles to himself and keeps like 25 cats in his flat. Or the aunty downstairs who has enough potted plants along her corridor to form a small forest.

Basically anyone else but me.

According to the latest report from NEA, there have already been 515 cases in week 16, 5 times more than the same time period in 2010-2012.

I also found out that we are staying in one of the identified dengue cluster hotspots, eek! With 3 young kids in the house, I dare say that I’m more than a little concerned.

I told the husband about it and he told me about the time he got dengue fever as a teen. It was a terribly harrowing time for his family because his platelet count got dangerously low to the extent that it became life threatening and he had to be hospitalized for 3 days.

Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do if any of the kids got it so let’s just say that I’ll do whatever it takes to reduce the chances of that happening.

In line with the recent spike in dengue cases, NEA has increased efforts to reduce potential breeding habitats in the dengue clusters and in addition to that, they’ve also launched the 5-Step Mozzie Wipeout campaign, which encourages all of us to do our part to reduce mosquito breeding in our homes. I know the instinctive reaction is to think that we can’t possibly be breeding Aedes mosquitoes in our homes but the statistic for this is actually alarming – homes make up 67 per cent of the breeding habitats detected so while we all like to think that it’s the fault of the construction site down the road, it’s more likely that the mosquitoes found themselves a nice home in one of ours.

At this point, you’re probably asking, “what can I do?”

Ah, just the question I was hoping for.

We can all start by learning the 5-Step Mozzie Wipeout, which takes like 2 minutes and can be done once a week.

• Change water in vases/bowls on alternate days
• Turn over all water storage containers
• Remove water from flower pot plates on alternate days
• Clear blockages and put BTI insecticide in roof gutters monthly
• Cover bamboo pole holders when not in use

These are all really simple steps that can go a long way in keeping our families and each other safe. The key is to remember to do it regularly, especially as we head into the dengue peak season.

In addition, go like the Stop Dengue Now Facebook page for community updates and dengue survivor experiences and follow @NEAsg on twitter for live updates. More information can also be found at the website here.

Finally, NEA’s anti-Dengue campaign “Do the Mozzie Wipeout” will be launched simultaneously on 28 April at several locations – Mayflower Mall, Senja-Cashew CC, Choa Chu Kang CC and Nee Soon South Khatib Plaza. Head by to find out more if you’re in the area.

And if you haven’t seen this hilarious clip by mrbrown, you really should. It’s old but gold.